fatherhood

Leave a comment Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, spanking, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Is It a Coincidence I’ve Never Spanked My Children and Yet They are Known for How Well Behaved They Are? “Misbehavior” is a Signal a Child is Hungry, Tired, Bored, Lonely and/or Sick

I recently made a video on my YouTube channel for Family Friendly Daddy Blog where I asked everyone for help, tongue-in-cheek, about what I should do since it is normal for parents to spank their children, yet I never have, explaining that my children are known for how well-behaved they are.

Even just this past week, my 7 year-old son was invited to go to Chili’s with another boy his age in our neighborhood. The first thing the boy’s dad told my wife and I when they returned from dinner was this:

“Your son is so well-behaved! I’m not used to that. Usually, I’m spending my time getting the boys to settle down. But I never had any issues with your son as the friend my son chose to take along! He’s great!”

And for both all of Kindergarten and 1st grade, whenever the teachers have given us feedback it’s always the same:

“He is a very well-behaved boy. And smart, too! Yes, I have to remind him not to talk to his friends during class at times, but he truly is a model student.”

As for my daughter, she just turned 2 years old, but she is also known for being a bright, yet mild-mannered little girl.

So here’s the question:

Is it just a coincidence that both of my children are known for their good behavior; and as their parents, my wife nor I have ever spanked them?

It raises the question of how necessary spanking actually is:

If what I’ve been doing as a parent has yielded a well balanced, well behaved children, what is the point of spanking them?

But if I’m not spanking my children in order to get them to behave, then what am I doing? Because, no, my kids were not just born with some magic gene where they automatically know how to behave.

And granted, they still require much teaching and direction regarding how to behave. But I provide that for them, instead of physically striking them. I accept they are still kids, too.

So I don’t freak out when my son leaves a note on the couch for his sister, with a picture of her with an “x” through it, saying, “go home away“.

The way I see it, it’s not a matter so much of disciplining my children. Instead, it’s about proactively managing their physical, social, and psychological needs.

It’s a simple 5 step program that I invented years ago. When a young child is perceived to be “misbehaving”, I recognize they don’t yet have the emotional intelligence to verbally communicate what they really need. I interpret that “misbehavior” as a predictable signal or warning to the parent that they are at least one of the following:

Hungry

Tired

Bored

Lonely

Sick

So as their parent, I am constantly prepared to feed my children, help them get to sleep, find a way for them to entertain themselves, socialize with them, or restore them to good health.

It’s true that my method isn’t the norm. Only 20% of parents worldwide are like me, in that they don’t spank their children.

I’m okay with not being normal. Especially if my kids are known for being well-behaved without having to hit them.

Here’s the question that I want to close with:

Is it a coincidence I’ve never spanked my children and yet they are known for how well behaved they are? Or am I on to something with my simple 5 step program?

Photo courtesy of April Milan Photography.

2 Comments Posted on fatherhood, parenting, People, SEO Spotlight Series, Uncategorized

April Milam Photography in Spring Hill, TN: Specializing in Newborn and Family Portraits

A month ago while I was taking photos for my SEO spotlight article on Legacy Coffee Co., I met April Milam as she was ordering her drink. I learned that she is a professional photographer who lives just a mile and a half away from my family.

So I thought it would be cool to shoot a video tour of her home studio, to include in my massive library of videos on one of my YouTube channels:

And then when I began to fathom the logistics in being able to get newborns and young children to pose to her photos, I decided to make a video about that in itself:

Meeting April when I did (which just happened to be in the month of April) was perfect timing, because my wife had just said that we need to get some good professional photos done of our family; and especially of our daughter, who just turned 2 years old on April 24th.

As you can see, April did an amazing job.

In the moment, I had no idea that she was getting such beautiful images of our children. As the parent, I was just hoping my daughter didn’t have a meltdown during the photo shoot.

Something that really stands out to me about April’s approach is how efficient she is. We were literally at her home studio for 28 minutes from the time we pulled in the driveway until the time we left.

We had originally planned on doing an outdoor shoot, but that plan got rained out. As you can see though, April’s home studio served us quite well.

She knows what she’s doing.

So obviously, if you’re in the Nashville area, April is a solid choice for a photographer!

Here’s a link to our family’s entire photo shoot on her website:

April Milam Photography

And here is her page on Facebook.

Thanks for checking out April’s photos of my family today. We are so pleased!

To think: It all happened because she went out for a cup of coffee one random Tuesday morning.

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Dear Holly: I Have Sort of Convinced You That a Rat Puppet is Actually Your Class Pet Dwarf Gerbil from Your School

2 years.

Dear Holly,

For the past couple of months now in your preschool class, you and your friends have enjoyed the presence of Gus Gus, a dwarf gerbil.

Each morning when I take you into the classroom, our immediate routine is to for me to lift you up to the cage so you can ask, “Gus Gus?”

That translates as, “Are you awake yet, Gus Gus?”

The answer is usually, “Well, now I am!” as we watch the wood chips move around and see two beady eyes looking back at us.

One morning we even walked in to see a clear blue plastic roll right across the floor as we opened the door, as Gus Gus raced to the other side of the room as part of his early morning exercise.

Gus Gus finds his way into daily conversations, too. I use him as an interesting subject to help you formulate sentences.

For example, anytime you see a pick-up truck now, you point, and proudly shout, “Truck? Truck! Truck!”

So from there, I started saying, “Gus Gus drives a truck?”

You obviously liked the concept, then decided to repeat that ridiculous thought.

Now anytime you see a pick-up truck, you know what to say to me:

“Truck! Truck! Gus Gus drive truck.”

It finally occurred to me as we were playing with your toys in the living room, to bring life to the rat puppet which I originally got right before you were born, as I was planning on it being a character in your brother’s superhero series on YouTube.

You were amazed to learn was Gus Gus secretly living in our house the whole time, but also that he could talk, and even say your name.

And even when you realized that you yourself could stick your hand into Gus Gus and control his mouth, you still were every bit excited to announce, “It’s Gus Gus!”

Love,

Daddy

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Leave a comment Posted on car reviews, fatherhood, parenting, People, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: Exploring Your Great-Uncle Johnny’s Car Collection During Spring Break

7 years, 5 months.

Dear Jack,

It was just about a month ago that you had a pretty cool Spring Break. On the way back from Ruby Falls in the Mazda CX-5, we actually had to drive right past my Uncle Johnny’s house near Chattanooga; which is also near Rock City, where our family would visit a couple of days later. So I let him know in advance, and he was ready for us when we stopped by.

He has the largest collection of classic cars compared to anyone else I personally know. I figured especially at your age now, getting to see his car collection would really be an awesome thing to do.

You obviously were amazed with each car Uncle Johnny proceeded to show you; which included several class Mustangs.

But I think your favorite of them all was his 1993 Ford 150 pick-up truck.

But our visit didn’t just consist of a car museum collection alone.

Uncle Johnny was thoughtful enough, and brave enough, to insist that you drive us around in his golf utility vehicle. Granted, I sat next to you and overtook the wheel and brake pedal for much of the chaotic drive, which included us missing a tree by a few inches.

That’s why I took you to my Uncle Johnny’s house, though.

I knew it would create a memorable experience for you at this age. I have to believe that years from now, you’ll say to me, “Daddy, was that a dream that time we were at that guy’s house and he had all these cars and trucks and then he even let me drive this little car across a field, to another garage where there was this truck I got to stand in?”

Then I can say, “No, that was real.” Here are the pictures to prove it.

Love,

Daddy

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Review of the Remington HC4250 Shortcut Pro: What I Learned from Choosing to Be Bald for 3 Months

As of this week, I’ve decided to grow my hair back out from the zero guard buzz cut, to a more mainstream hairstyle.

My wife’s request may have had something to do with that decision…

In addition to my son’s recent drawing of our family where he purposely drew me with a hat on…

But for the past 3 months, I have consistently chosen on a weekly basis to be bald. I even went to The Board Room in Nashville on West End and got my head clean shaven at one point.

And I have to say, I love being bald!

It’s awesome.

(Here’s the video I made when I shaved it all all from a full head of hair, before I updated to the The Remington Lithium HC4250 Shortcut Pro, which I now use.)

I love not having to think about going to get a haircut every 4 weeks, or having to pay for a haircut, or having to spend the time to get a haircut, or having to wonder if my hair is messed up after walking outside in the wind.

The zero guard buzz cut served as a perfect outward representation of how I feel on the inside.

Even though I can still grow hair, I personally prefer the look and feel of no hair.

In my opinion, the buzz version of me with the zero guard buzz cut is when I also have a 2 week-old beard:

I even wrote a cool original song about how great it is to buzz off your hair:

So if you’re considering trying out the buzz cut look, let me tell you about a must-have that I finally discovered here at the end of my 90 days of baldness:

The Remington Lithium HC4250 Shortcut Pro

Even my wife immediately acknowledged how even my hair looked after I used the device.

It’s really easy and fun to use. And if you’re not ready to go all the way down to a zero guard (no guard), you can opt to use one of the standard length guards included with it.

Be warned though: Once you take the leap and decide to buzz it all off, you’re probably going to get addicted. That’s definitely what happened to me.

You begin to realize, as a man, that hair seems to being pointless; just a waste of time, money, and energy.

If you’re possibly interested in making this purchase, I’ll make it easy for you by including the link below, so you can get straight to Amazon to find the best deal on one:

The Remington Lithium HC4250 Shortcut Pro

Also feel free to check out these video reviews I made on the The Remington Lithium HC4250 Shortcut Pro: