fatherhood

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Dear Holly: Your New Christmas Lights for Your Bed

3 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

Last weekend, Mommy surprised you by decorating your bed with some rainbow Christmas lights!

You are so proud to go to bed each night, under the festive glow.

I’m not sure how that coincides with your bed sheets you currently have, which are covered in poop emojis.

But to you, it makes perfect sense.

Actually, I have a feeling it’s going to be difficult to convince you to get rid of these lights once Christmas is over.

I guess we’ll have to revisit this topic here in a few weeks, or maybe next year!

Love,

Daddy

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My 2019 Year in Review: 5 Things That Defined My Life in the Final Year of the 2010s- Existential Crisis, Jeep Wrangler, 20th High School Reunion…

I only recently realized that we are actually coming to the end of another decade. This decade itself has presented several major milestones for me:

2010: I became a parent for the first time when my son Jack was born.

2011: I turned 30 years old. Parents Magazine chose me as their official daddy blogger- a side gig that was last the next 4 years.

2012: I became the manager of the retention department at my employer at the time, which triggered my fascination with emotional intelligence- especially, the concept that being offended is always a person decision.

2013: My wife and I became debt-free, other than our mortgage.

2014: We started building our new house.

2015: We moved into our brand-new house; having previously owned a town home. I also started my first YouTube channel, which currently has over 8K subscribers and earns me an average of $500 per month.

2016: Four days after my 35th birthday, my daughter was born.

2017: The company I had been working for the past 11 years closed down my branch, starting a 6 month stretch of me being a stay-at-home dad.

2018: I made by television debut on the Lifetime Network show, This Time Next Year. I also got a new job, at a Fortune 500 Company, where I have now worked a year and a half.

As for 2019, there are 5 particular events that come to mind…

1- Existential crisis: Having reached all my major life goals before the age 40, I came to a point where I had to re-evaluate my goals and ambitions.

2- Jeep Wrangler: After owning my Honda Element since 2006, I finally got a new” vehicle- a 2010 Jeep Wrangler JK 6 Speed.

3- 20th Year High School Reunion: My wife and I had a great time with the people I grew up with and graduated with in 1999.

4- Releasing Original Songs: So far, my wife and I have released 4 new original songs together on my YouTube channel. Despite both moving to Nashville to start music careers, we had never publicly performed together.

5- 1st Family Pet: Despite our “no pet” policy in our home, my son wanted a teddy bear hamster for his 9th birthday. Ultimately, the hamster quickly became my pet- or at best, the “family” pet.

Now, with the 2020s ahead of me, I shall enter the decade in which I turn 40 and became of the parent of two teenagers. That ought to be fun.

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Dear Jack: We Saw WWE Wrestling at Monday Night Raw in Nashville on December 2nd, 2019

9 years.

#WWE

#WWENashville

@carbonhouse

Dear Jack,

Like clockwork, the moment you turned 9 years old (just a couple of weeks ago), you instinctively knew to trade in all of your interest and fascination of Pokemon, for WWE Wresting.

It’s amazing how much trivia you know about all the wrestlers already.

Mommy looked up online to see if by chance, a WWE event would be coming to Nashville anytime soon.

We were in luck: Monday Night Raw would be taking place at the Bridgestone Arena on December 2nd.

Needless to say, Mommy immediately bought the tickets (just $15 each)!

Your favorite wrestler is the masked Mexican-American living legend Rey Mysterio. Naturally, you had your hopes up that he would actually be at the event we would be attending.

When you looked up the roster the WWE website, he was not featured as one of the wrestlers for that night.

But our amazement, this past Monday night, we were pleasantly surprised when Rey Mysterio made multiple appearances throughout the night!

We could not have planned it that way had we tried.

The event started at 6:30 PM and it wasn’t over until 4 hours later! I had never been to a WWE wrestling event either, so I had no idea we would be getting so much bang for our buck.

It was definitely a coming of age milestone for you and I am so proud to have gotten to share it with you.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Making Blankets and Diapers from Kleenex

3 years, 7 months.

Dear Holly,

With Christmas coming up in just a few weeks, I have a feeling you’re going to be all about the baby dolls.

This past weekend when we returned from our Thanksgiving trip to Alabama, Mommy and I noticed you quietly entertaining yourself on the far side of the living room.

You discretely discovered a travel pack of Kleenex from one of the suitcases and decided that a few of the tissues would make the perfect sized blanket for one of your small baby dolls.

Then you determined that it was time to change the baby’s diapers, so you made her a new diaper with a few more of the tissues.

I know you are going to love any new baby dolls you get this year for Christmas!

Love,

Daddy

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At Age 38, I Am Now the Proud New Owner of a Teddy Bear Hamster (Formerly My 9 Year-Old Son’s Birthday Gift)

Two weeks ago, my wife and I finally cracked on our “no pets in our home, ever” policy, when our son authentically and repeatedly asked for a pet hamster for his 9th birthday.

Being the extremely frugal Jewish-minded parents we are, we cut a deal with our son:

If you buy the cage, we’ll buy the hamster.

So after he went all out and spent $50 on the coolest hamster cage ever, my wife and I dropped the $16 required to purchase a hamster.

Things were off to a shaky start of our son’s pet ownership when as he was attempting to place the hamster in its cage, it bit him on the hand, drawing blood.

I felt bad. So I took it upon myself to hand-tame the 3 month-old hamster.

By Thanksgiving, I had successfully trained the hamster to crawl out of the cage into his hamster ball. Naturally, the rodent and I began to bond.

Throughout the process, I continually invited my son to be a part of the process. He just wasn’t that impressed.

With a 30 day return policy, I began openly talking about returning the hamster. At first, he pleaded against the idea.

But this past weekend, he actually asked if we could return the hamster.

Well… too late.

Because I had already told my wife the day before, “The hamster openly shows me it appreciates me. It depends on me yet I don’t feel taken for granted. I will adopt the hamster as my own.”

I admit, there’s undeniably some psychology in there. I accept that, often, as a parent, you don’t get much verbal appreciation from your kids.

Granted, I’m a grown man. I don’t need confirmation to know I am loved or appreciated.

But the hamster is able to provide something my son is not in this time in his development.

Therefore, the hamster and I now have a symbiotic relationship:

I clean his cage, feed and water him, and provide entertaining exercise for him.

He crawls up to the cage door anytime he is awake and sees me, as if to say, “Hey Buddy, I’m ready to come out so you can take care of me.”

My son named him Alpha. I’m keeping the name. He’s the alpha male of hamsters.