For Fall Break this year, we did something very special as a family. We travelled 4 hours away to visit Dollywood- and we met your cousins there, as well. Amazingly, none of us had ever been there before.
You definitely enjoyed the rides, though you decided not to try any of the scarier ones this time; despite The Tower of Terror being your favorite when we visited Disney World last Christmas.
I enjoyed the rides as well, and I was truly surprised that they were more thrilling than I expected; even if Aunt Dana’s hilarious picture of me would indicate otherwise…
Your entire life, you have always been drawn to the carnival games at County Fairs and amusement parks.
And it just so happens, you have the constantly ability to actually win prizes when you play!
Our trip to Dollywood this past week for Fall Break was no different.
Mommy and I let you and your sister both play one game each.
For your game, you cleverly chose a “horse race” game similar to skee-ball at Chuck E. Cheese. You competed against 3 or 4 other players, and beat them all!
As for your sister’s turn, she didn’t mind you playing for her, as you were able to throw a ball into a bucket and pop a balloon.
You were so proud of yourself- and your sister would proud of you too!
For the past month or so now, you have been faithfully taking out the garbage and recycling every week. Therefore, you happened to discover a new friend living near our back deck: A very tiny frog.
You set up a home for him in your reptile aquarium so he can continue to live outside. You feed and water him daily; as well as adding moss and grass for ambiance.
You were so excited when you discovered after a few days, that the frog literally had changed colors. You explained to me it was because the frog had shed his skin.
So he went from a very dark green to a very light green overnight. What a cool experience!
This past Saturday while Mommy and your brother were out at a boat race in Nashville, you and I got to spend the day together.
I took you to the farmers’ market, to the mall, and out for coffee; where you got pumpkin spice cake.
Apparently, you and Mommy had worked out some kind of agreement and understanding that you could buy a toy, with a budget of $15, simply because it’s been so long since your birthday, and it’s still a couple months away until Christmas.
When it was all said and done, I let you get a $20 Barbie.
This song serves as proof to me that it was 2 and a half years ago, on April 9, 2022, that I first started becoming aware of my personal Enneagram 6 complex: the constant yet somewhat muted feeling that I don’t matter; the feeling that I am invisible to the world.
During The Covid Lockdown, I was put on furlough for a few months from my employer. So I was in my own house, without a job, with my family; consisting of kids who were not able to go to school.
As an Enneagram 6, it is very important to me that I understand what my role is.
What jump-started me writing this song was when morning when my wife walked by as I was sitting at the kitchen table and she said, “It’s so cold in this house.”
My wife is always cold. Keep in mind, she said this in April.
When she said that, it inspired me to write a song about a person who questioned whether life as a ghost would actually feel anymore disconnected from society than an actual living person.
I feel that this song is the epitome of what if feels like to be an Enneagram 6. You can see my 5 wing in the attempt to accept life and death for what they are; unexplainable and unpredictable.
My 7 wing shows in my anxiety about potential restlessness during eternity.
The themes you see in these lyrics will continue throughout so many songs I have written since:
It’s so cold in this house, I can’t feel my bones – There’s people walking around but is this even my home? Did I? Did I? Did I die? Did I? Did I? Did I survive? Who is the ghost, here? Which one of us moved on? Who is the ghost here? Which one of us is in a better place? Can I walk through walls? Can I walk on water? Can I rest in peace? Can I rest? What if I get restless while I live forever? Can I rest in peace? Can I rest? Most people who have ever lived are now buried in this Earth – The dead know something we don’t – Until we join them, I guess we won’t – I see the dark, I see the light – I see my body from up so high
So looking back on this song I wrote over 2 years ago, can you see how I am a loyalist and a skeptic? Can you see my longing for security and confirmation of my own existence; which shows my true Enneagram is actually a 6?
Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
And now you can listen to the song, below, if you wish: