5 and a half years old.
This past weekend, as Mommy’s sister’s family was in town from Pennsylvania, they got to hear all about butts, buttheads, poop, Donald Trump, and eyeballs; all of which are “bad words” in your vocabulary.
With us having very special visitors with us for these 4 days, you got away with taking no naps. And when you take no naps, you are less discreet in your words and actions.
(That’s one of the many reasons I don’t spank you; I don’t believe in physically punishing children because of how they act when they are hungry, tired, lonely, bored or sick– which are the reasons you “act out” when you do.)
In our house, you are not exposed to actual “bad words”. The only time you hear those is when, as the cool dad, I take you out go to see superhero movies– though you obviously don’t recognize the cuss words when you hear them since you don’t know them to begin with.
However, you have your own rolodex of bad words; most of which involve potty humor. The main one is butts.
I remember one time at the dinner table, having not taken a nap that day, you just kept saying, “Bbbuttsss!” then immediately laughing.
You were in a loop. You broke me down after a few times. You had me laughing every time you said it, though I was supposed to be a responsible adult, like Mommy was being.
However, it was indeed Mommy who bought you the book My Dad is a Butthead for the Kindle for when we went on our last major family vacation in Destin, for your 5th birthday- which happened to be exactly 6 months ago today.
(I realize that butts and butthead both have the word “butt” in them, but I consider them separate words in that a butthead is a person.)
As for poop, I suppose it’s always been one of your favorite bad words. That one is simply a given.
But you took it upon yourself to adopt Donald Trump on your list, after hearing that “Donald Trump is a bad word” from watching an episode of Fuller House. Granted, I personally don’t have a probably with you making Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton into bad words, as far as I’m concerned.
Eyeball is my favorite bad word of yours. Like Donald Trump, you decided on your own that this is an inappropriate phrase to use.
I love how you think you’re getting away with saying something sneaky when you shout out the word “eyeball” in vain.
Granted, you don’t say any of these bad words at school; or at least you don’t get in trouble for it if you do.
It’s not just with family that you have no filter with when you are in need of a nap. I remember a few months ago, we were meeting our friend Jarrid Wilson (and his wife and young son). He is a Christian blogger and author.
I’m glad that in the midst of us all having brunch together at Whole Foods, he found it hilarious that the word “butts” kept coming up in conversation.
As long as your bad words consist of butts, buttheads, poop, Donald Trump, and eyeballs, I’m just not too worried about it.