Yesterday afternoon I had recently returned from buying vegan chocolate cake for my wife, as well as “lip scrub”, which I didn’t know existed until she asked me to get it for her.
For myself, while I was there at Whole Foods, I also picked up a bottle of one of my favorite drinks: Synergy Grape Chia Kombucha.
I suppose I drank it fairly quickly once I returned to the office from my lunch break. So naturally, I had to hop on over to the restroom real quick.
By real quick, I mean literally less than 90 seconds. Here’s how I can know for sure:
Because at precisely 14:04:28, a message went out over our company’s instant message program that “Nick Shell is no longer employed” at the company.
(That message was apparently sent the moment I stepped out of my office.)
Then at exactly 14:05:55, which is less than 90 seconds later, a follow-up message went out explaining that it wasn’t “Nick Shell” who was no longer employed, but instead a different Nick.
Apparently by that time, I was washing my hands in the bathroom. I stepped out into the hallway, to see a huddle of people around my empty desk.
To make matters more seemingly dramatic, my boss (as a joke) moved my chair along with my name plaque and my hat and my empty Kombucha bottle out into the hallway.
Half the people who traveled from the other side of the office to see the crime scene hadn’t seen the follow-up message, so it only reinforced the idea I really was a goner.
I know now how loved I truly am by my co-workers. Apparently I had some people worried. I was originally hired on January 2, 2006; more than a decade ago.
While my family did move back to my hometown for about 8 months when my son was born over 5 years ago, I’ve worked at the company for over 9 years.
I’m known as the guy who has been there forever, so I guess it freaked some people out that I would just so suddenly disappear.
After I later took my afternoon 10 minute break, in which I took a walk outside, another coworker decided to decorate my desk as part of either my going-away party… or my triumphant return.