I’m Mr. Clean When It Comes to Personal Hygiene

Cleanliness is next to obsessiveness.

Danny Tanner was OCD about cleaning his full house.  Howie Mandel is insane in dealing or not dealing with germs.  As for me, I am obsessed with feeling clean and fresh in regards to my own body.  If I had to go a full day without taking a shower, brushing my teeth, or clipping my fingernails (they grow very fast; I have to clip them every five days), then it would pretty much ruin my day, like a canker sore.

I keep an extra toothbrush, toothpaste, and pair of nail clippers with me at work.  As well as in my car.  Heckler from the crowd shouts out: “Well you better get used to feeling dirty!  That baby of yours is going to be puking and peeing on you every day…”  But that’s different.  To me, that’s more of an external situation.  I’m obsessed with the internal.

What I get on me, I can clean off and be okay with.  It’s what comes out from within my body that bothers me.  Knowing that sweat is constantly slowly seeping out of my skin and that bacteria in my mouth begins festering again the minute I finish brushing my teeth.  Yikes.

And truthfully, this obsession has a lot to do with my extremely strict diet which is based around “clean eating”.  The way I see it, the foods I put in my body either make my insides cleaner or dirtier.  It’s typically hard for me to eat a big greasy hamburger because I imagine the liquefied, digested fat leaking out my pores.  What a nightmare.

Surely everyone is at least a little bit OCD somehow when it comes to cleanliness.  This is mine.

Here's something else I keep at work. It's that important...

*Unnecessary ethic information: Both Bob Saget and Howie Mandel are Jewish.

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