marriage

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Exactly 10 Years after Our First Date

Exactly 10 Years after Our First Date

On February 5, 2007, the 25 year-old version of me was successful in finally escaping “the friend zone” with a girl who I had known exactly 4 months; a 25 year-old girl from California who I had met while waiting in line to be an extra for a taping of CMT’s Crossroads.

It was a week before Valentine’s Day, which I kept in mind. Meanwhile, she wasn’t aware that the John Mayer concert a couple hours away in Huntsville, Alabama wasn’t actually a “just as friends” thing. I was sneakily being very deliberate in my specific plan to get her to see me as more than just “the nice guy” she had been hanging out with at Starbucks most Sunday nights.

I knew that a road trip could provide an environment for her to see me in a different way than before. Knowing that we’d need to eat dinner but wouldn’t have time to since we both were leaving straight from work, I had used my lunch break to pick up some sub sandwiches for us Lenny’s. I also made sure to grab some Twizzlers, as I had remembered her saying she liked them.

Once we arrived in the parking garage next to the concert arena, I presented her with our dinner; while playing the Counting Crows through the stereo of my Honda Element; the car I still drive today.

The date went exactly as I had planned. And by the time we got back to Nashville, sometime after midnight, I asked her a very strategic question:

“Next week is Valentine’s Day, and I would be honored to take you out. Would you like to go out with me for Valentine’s Day?”

That was exactly a 10 years ago today. And we’ve been together ever since.

So glad I got out of the friend zone.

Though I guess you could say that being together and in love with a person for a decade, and being married 8 and a half of those years, and having 2 kids together… it sort of makes you best friends by default.

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Exactly 10 Years Ago Today, I Met the Girl I Would Marry

I Married the Right One

Exactly 10 years ago today, on October 5, 2006, I met the girl who I would start dating 4 months later, and marry within 2 years. In a crowded building called The Factory in Franklin, Tennessee, I saw who I thought was a beautiful Puerto Rican or maybe even half-Korean girl.

I was wrong in both my assumptions on her ethnicity, but as I introduced myself to her in a line of hundreds waiting to get into the main room where an episode of CMT’s Crossroads was soon to be filmed, I knew right away that this fellow “extra” for the audience of that episode was A) out of my league and B) someone very intriguing and special.

Now flash-forward to this past August. It was close to midnight in the parking lot of the movie theatre in Spring Hill, Tennessee after having just seen the premiere of Suicide Squad. My friend Jarred and I were laughing as we reminisced about the “10 years-ago” versions of ourselves; back when we lived in a house together along with other bachelors.  During that time frame is when we happened to meet and begin dating our future wives.

He then said something that has stuck with me: “We married the right girls.”

It’s weird to think that the more naïve, less mature version of you is responsible for making one of the most serious (and permanent) decisions of your entire life; a decision that will not only affect other people’s lives but also create new life.

I feel like only now do I know enough about life to begin to make a decision like that. But it doesn’t work that way. Instead, it’s the opposite:

The reason I am now the mature and experienced person I am now is because of the girl I married 8 years ago.

It turns out, the 25 year-old versions of ourselves knew enough of what they were doing when met nearly 10 years ago, fell in love, and got married.

By “doing life” together for nearly a decade now, we have by default taught ourselves and each other what emotional intelligence is all about; making daily conscious decisions to choose to be victorious, not allow ourselves to be victims.

I see emotional intelligence as the inside-out version of what love is. By choosing to love your spouse, you choose to victorious instead of allowing yourself to become a victim.

A decade ago she and I were 25 year-old kids trying to figure out life. Now were are 35 year-old adults with two beautiful children. For the most part, we’re settled down and along for the ride.

I don’t know which surprises and adventures are ahead, but I do know this: She’s the one I want to spend the rest of my future with.

Victors versus Victims

Victor: compliments others

Victim: criticizes others

Victor: embraces change

Victim: fears change

Victor: forgives others

Victim: holds grudges

Victor: always learning

Victim: thinks they know everything

Victor: accepts responsibility for their failures

Victim: blames others for their failures

Victor: has a sense of gratitude

Victim: has a sense of entitlement

Victor: sets goals and develops plans

Victim: never sets goals

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Bissell CleanView Vacuum with OnePass: A Dad’s Review (Including Unboxing Video and Demonstration)

Bissell CleanView Vacuum with OnePass: A Dad’s Review (Including Unboxing Video & Demonstration)

I feel like there was this cliché storyline in 1980s sitcoms where the husband buys his wife a new vacuum cleaner as a gift, only to learn that gesture upsets his wife.

The moral of the story in these sitcoms is this: Men like to receive useful tools as gifts, women do not.

For a husband to get his wife a new vacuum cleaner, it has to be completely unrelated to her birthday, anniversary, or any other expected time to give her a gift.

However, it is my observation that men actually like to receive useful tools during these gift-receiving opportunities.

Maybe it’s not the best example, but with my 35th birthday coming up in a couple of weeks, my wife helped me get a brand-new Canon Powershot G7 X camera. (I pitched in a couple hundred dollars, as the price was beyond the budget of a typical gift.)

As a blogger, I see a camera as a work tool; yet it’s the one thing I really wanted. Men like receiving tools as gifts.

At the same time, our nearly 8 year-old Bissell vacuum cleaner finally saw its final day. So my wife looked online at Target and discovered we could buy the updated model for only $75. So we did.

And boy do we both love it!

I’m referring to the Bissell CleanView Vaccuum with OnePass. I was so passionate about it, I made this unboxing and demonstration video:

I’m the one in our household who does the vacuuming every weekend. I noticed immediately how lightweight and agile it is. My wife has tried it out as well and agreed completely.

And it’s amazing to us that we purchased it for only $75 at Target!

By the way, Bissell is not endorsing me in any way to do this review. They were not even aware of me until I Tweeted them this story today.

That’s how much I like this vacuum!

Bissell CleanView Vacuum with OnePass: A Dad’s Review (Including Unboxing Video & Demonstration)

Flowchart below courtesy of ProFlowers.com.

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Dear Holly: I Would Marry Your Mommy Every Single Time

24 weeks.

Back in Nashville 032 Crop

Dear Holly,

Mommy and I are going on nearly 7 and a half years of marriage and if I could go back and do it all over again, I can say with confidence, that I would marry her every single time.

That confidence comes from knowing that we’ve survived through some life-changing and mind-altering experiences together.

Like digging our way well into, and then way out of, over $50,000 in debt. Like raising your brother together for the past 5 years. Like selling and a buying a house or two.

Even more minor things like becoming vegetarians/vegans 4 years ago together and seeing her quickly rise to become the stellar vegetarian/vegan chef that she is for our family.

I still am so impressed by her, on a daily basis, after all this time so far.

When we met we were, by default, two 26 year-olds who were less mature and experienced than we are now. (Pictured above.)

Now we are two 34 year-olds who are at the best place in our lives so far.

Apparently age 34 is officially the happiest time in a person’s life. While I could easily agree with that so far, considering we are more secure in our jobs and finances these days than ever before, I have to believe that things still get better beyond age 34.

Because, after all, you are due to be born right around my 35th birthday, in April 2016.

After having shared my life with your Mommy for this long, I am more convinced than ever that I couldn’t have made a better decision.

I am grateful to the 26 year-old version of me who, in my immaturity and inexperience, was able to recognize that Mommy was the one for me. Plus, I am grateful that version of me had what it took to convince Mommy to fall for me.

My life couldn’t have been any better than it is right now had I not met your Mommy. She is quite the catch and I will be overly aware of that every day for the rest of my life.

I bet my life on her… and won.

Love,

Daddy

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People Finally Stopped Asking If We’re Going to Have Another Kid

People Finally Stopped Asking If We’re Going to Have Another Kid

The first question was, “When you are two going to get married?

Then, “When are you going to have a baby?”

After that, “When are you going to have another one?”

From the time our son was about 1 year-old, until he was about 3 and a half, that last question was in heavy rotation.

So then, being the family friendly daddy blogger that I am, I began addressing the fact that my wife and I could easily be the couple that only has one child.

The reality of the two of us working full time in a major city got in the way of the concept of us having many as 4 kids; something we had at one point talked about, years ago.

So I began explaining here on my blog that the two of us could truly be happy with just one child; even if that wasn’t normal.

However, my wife and I mutually realized recently, “It’s been a long time since anyone has asked us if we’re going to have another kid.”

Our son will turn 5 years-old next month. By this point, people have stopped even wondering if we will “have another one.”

(That’s a funny phrase to me; “have another one.” I think of those Russian nesting dolls, called Matryoshka dolls.)

Of course, I never said we wouldn’t have another child. I simply made it clear we would be happy and content with just one; if that’s how things ended up.

I guess to a lot of people that comes across as, “We’re not having any more kids.”

On the contrary, I’ve mentioned a couple of times already this year here on Family Friendly Daddy Blog that we’ve never been more open to the idea of expanding our family, as I prefer to say it; than we are now that we are financially settled and moved into our new house.

But still, people gave up and stop bothering to ask. After all, having over 5 years in between kids is a lot of time.

It all comes down to us, the parents, being ready on all fronts; plus, being physically able to conceive a child.

Most families can have kids 2 or 3 years apart, and that works for them, culturally: Having 2 in diapers at the same time.

Culturally, for our family, especially at this point, having a Kindergartner and an infant sounds more our speed… if that’s how things ended up.