fatherhood

Leave a comment Posted on Enneagram, fatherhood, parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

Dear Jack: You are an Enneagram 3W4 (Achiever/Invidualist)

11 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

Ever since becoming certified as an Enneagram coach last December, I have had trouble getting a solid reading on you.

But as of this past week, it become clear:

You are an Enneagram 3 (The Achiever) with a dominant wing 4 (The Individualist).

Mommy and I have never put pressure on you to do well in school… nor in Taekwondo, nor in building complicated Lego sets, nor helping us build furniture we order off the Internet!

Yet you constantly excel in everything you do. While Mommy and I aren’t putting this constant “pressure to succeed” on you… you do.

What convinced me was when you came home from school last week, so proud, for certifiably excelling in all your subjects at school, in last year’s standardized test.

As proud of you that Mommy and I assured you that we were of you, it was apparent you were even prouder!

But you’re not only focusing on succeeding in life, you also like to stand out; like how you recently helped purchase your own (expensive!) Nike shoes for the new school year.

For the past couple of years now, you have openly acknowledged your goal to own a Tesla. That is what you have your sights on!

And I am confident you have what it takes… with no help from Mommy or me on that.

I wanted to surprise you with a gift to make you feel special regarding your amazing test scores. So I snuck by Marshall’s and bought you a $100 Sean Jean watch that you had recently pointed out to me.

And it because it was from Marshall’s, I only paid $20.

Either way, you are undeniably smarter than me!

I have always known you are going to go far in life. And now I realize, it’s fundamentally your personality to achieve and to be a creative individual in the process!

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: You are an Enneagram 2W3 (Helper/Achiever)

6 years, 4 months.

Dear Holly,

We’re now a few months into me determining that you are officially an Enneagram 2- “The Helper” personality.

This past week, one particular event stood out to back this up.

Thanks to many family members across the USA, you did very well in selling magazine subscriptions as a fundraiser for your school. (That shows your dominant “3 wing- The Achiever”.)

So you got a keychain as a prize for each one sold.

But on the bus ride home from school that day, some older kids saw how many you had and asked if they could all have one.

Reluctantly, you said yes; confused, thinking they were asking to see the prizes, not keep them. But you indeed at given away three of your prizes to kids you didn’t even know.

You kept from crying, long enough to make it off the bus.

Mommy took care of you, though. She explained to your teacher what happened, so you got reimbursed the next day with new prizes.

You are a helper, and an achiever; as this story clearly demonstrates.

And as your Daddy, part of my job is to make sure you don’t help others to the point that you neglect yourself in the process.

Mommy and I are both Enneagram 6s, so we are most motivated to provide security for those we love.

You are so kind and giving- and so easy to love!

That happens to be a trait about people who are Enneagram 2- they never make you wonder if they love you.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: What Will Really Matter a Year from Now?

6 years, 4 months.

Dear Holly,

For nearly a month, I had an event on the calendar:

I had been invited to a men’s breakfast for last Saturday, that I heard about through my F3 group.

In my mind, I had really built up this event; it was announced there was be Texas beef brisket.

However, the day before, you learned that Mommy would not be available to take you to your classmate’s Chuck E. Cheese birthday party; which just happened to be taking place during the same time as the men’s breakfast.

You began crying.

But not for long. Because I decided to take you to the birthday party instead.

And as for breakfast, I took you and your brother to a perfect Greek bakery near our house.

It was a no-brainer, choosing you over my own plans.

I just simply thought, “A year from now, what will really matter?”

The answer: Memories with you.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: I’m the Parent Who Takes You to the Birthday Parties

11 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

In our household, there are certain responsibilities that Mommy and I have assigned to ourselves:

She handles the budget, the scheduling, the travel plans, and the school details.

I handle cleaning the bathrooms, taking out the garbage, vacuuming the floors, half of the grocery shopping, killing the bugs, doing my own laundry, most of my own meals, and… taking you and your sister to kids’ birthday parties.

Last Saturday, you and your sister had a 10 AM Chuck E. Cheese party 20 miles north of us that lasted 3 hours, to be followed by another 3 hour party at your friend’s house about 10 miles south of us.

And the thing is, all 3 of us had fun all day.

Even me. For some reason, I enjoy shuttling you and your sister to your friends’ birthday parties.

Whereas if I was running around town having to do shopping and other errands, I would be exhausted and angry.

But for some reason, I enjoy being involved taking you to these parties.

I suppose it’s a way I feel like I bond with you; while in some way, reliving my own childhood; 30 years later.

 

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: You are an Amazing Sculptor!

11 years, 8 months.

Dear Jack,

In the sporadic weeks of this summer like this one, when you’re not doing a camp or on vacation, it’s up to you to find fun creative ways to keep yourself entertained; as Mommy and I work full-time from home.

You took it upon yourself to train with some YouTube videos on how to carve clay sculptures, and then with my assistance, to put them in the oven to preserve them.

I am so amazed at your talent. And again, you taught yourself how to do this!

You are seriously considering my idea of making a small business out of this for your upcoming school year.

I could see your classmates wanting to buy these hand-carved sculptures as keychains to put on their backpacks!

 

Love,

Daddy