June 24, 2013 at 11:26 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

You have discovered the magic words:

“I love you.”

That even includes the times you say it when you’re simply trying to use it to your advantage.

Every night as I’m downstairs doing the dishes, Mommy will let you prop yourself up on the balcony of the staircase and yell to me, “Hey Daddy, I potty! I get an M&M!”

For some reason when you get tired and giddy at the same time, you gain this Austrian accent.

So it’s more like, “Hey Dah-dee, I pah-dee…”

A little bit later, after I’ve sang you three random songs, one of which is usually the theme song to The Lorax movie, I say goodnight and leave the room.

You wait until about 10 seconds after I’ve shut the door.

“Hey Dah-dee, I laaaahv yew!”

Even though it’s spoken in your unnecessary and cartoonish Arnold Schwarzenegger accent, I can’t resist.

I immediately open the door, kiss you, and tell you I love you too.

Knowing your plan to delay bedtime actually worked, you tell me even louder that you love me, even though you’re laughing and just trying to be funny at that point.

It’s funny how even though I clearly know it’s a ploy, I go along with it anyway.

Are you beginning to understand what the word “love” really means? It’s not something I can simply describe to a 2 and a half year-old in words.

Mommy and I can show you everyday, knowing that eventually you’ll connect the word to the action. But as far as the word really making sense to you 100%, I don’t think you’re there yet.

That doesn’t matter to me. Even if you’re simply processing what it means to love me, and what it means that I love you…

Well, that’s close enough for me. I’ll take it.

Love,

Daddy

June 17, 2013 at 10:27 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

This morning I accidentally bumped your head as I was getting you out of my car.

Not just a slight graze, but it was the kind of hit that would cause the world “BAM!” or “THUD!” to appear in the air, like on the 1960′s Batman TV series.

Your response?

About 3 seconds later, you nonchalantly scratched your head, as if you might have felt a piece of fuzz in your hair or something.

But it was like you were confused, more than anything.

Under normal circumstances, youwould have been crying pretty hard and it would have been a big dramatic ordeal.

But I guess when I use the phrase “under normal circumstances,” I’m referring to Mommy being present.

Like magic, you basically feel no pain or discomfort when it’s just you and me.

I don’t believe that’s because you’re trying to impress me by showing me how tough you are. After all, I need no convincing of that. I am very aware of how thick your Croatian skull is.

Instead, I believe it’s because you instinctively aren’t seeking my physical comfort. Quite the opposite, you testme physically. You love to wrestle me; even if during the process you pretend to hate it.

Of course the obvious flip side to this is how different you act “under normal circumstances.” With Mommy in the room, you can barely stub your toe on the carpet, then yell, “Owie!” On cue, Mommy is authentically concerned.

With me, you don’t even bother.

But more importantly, like I said, your brain evidently doesn’t even process pain or discomfort when it’s just you and me. You’re so much lower maintenance during “Daddy only” time. Ya know that?

It’s interesting how quickly you can turn on and off the “Mommy switch.”

Love,

Daddy

June 16, 2013 at 6:35 am , by Nick Shell

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

According to the new Pew Research Center survey, Americans expect dads to be more of a moral teacher and emotional comforter than a breadwinner or disciplinarian.

The way I look at it, whether a dad chooses to be or not, he often is by default the moral teacher and emotional comforter, for better or worse.

That’s not to say that the mom’s role in teaching her children values and morals is simply marginal, but I do find it interesting that in a time where the media still makes dad out to be a horrible role model or at least a lovable idiot,see “ABC 20/20′s D Is For Dad And Dumb” Segment which aired just in time for Father’s Day, this new poll shows that dads are expected to be the moral teacher more than the disciplinarian or the greater income provider.

So why is it that if dads seen as the moral teacher, that they are still often portrayed as dummies in the media? I’d say it’s because there’s a disconnect between what TV writers think America wants to see and want America actually thinks about their dads.

I base “what America actually thinks” on what I’m seeing as Facebook status updates today for Father’s Day. I see Facebook consumed with pictures of everyone’s dad, with a caption bragging about how incredible,  supportive, and even how “perfect” their dads were while growing up.

Therefore, I find nothing surprising, only assuring and confirming, about the results of the new Pew Research Center survey.

In fact, I’ve already written about my desire to morally teach you. See “Dads Like To Teach Their Kids Life Lessons.”

I take great pride in the fact that I have the honor of instilling values and morals in you. Because hey, it sure beats what the media would like for you to believe; they evidently still think I’m simply a lovable idiot.

Love,

Daddy

Graph: Pew Research Center.

June 15, 2013 at 8:22 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

Last Friday, like most uber masculine dads in America, I randomly felt compelled to wear my hot pink pants and white leather dress shoes to work.

And it should go without saying that you can’t be caught wearing hot pink Polo pants from the clearance rack at TJ Maxx without sporting an equally 1985-esque white fedora.

Well, one thing led to another, and sure enough, you wouldn’t let me leave the house that morning without running upstairs to grab your white fedora to match Daddy.

I should have known that when a father and son leave the house wearing matching white fedoras, something magical is bound to happen.

It has been our tradition that on Friday afternoons, I take a late lunch break, waiting until you’ve woken up from your nap, to pick you up from daycare and take you somewhere adventurous, like the nearby park.

However, this particular Friday, a guy in the office next to mine won some kind of contest where he had the Budweiser Clydesdales deliver him two cases of beer.

Interestingly enough, this happened right as it was time to pick you up. So instead of going to the park, I took you back to my office to see the giant horsies.

Granted, I had already changed out of my Miami Vice costume into my work-out clothes (a classy Smurfs t-shirt and an oversized pair of faded cargo shorts from 25 pounds ago) and in hindsight, I see that you may have been wearing your fedora backwards the whole time, but hey, we got our pictures made with the Clydesdales!

We even got the meet the Budweiser Dalmatian.

So lesson learned. Whenever your Daddy feels like being random and wearing hot pink pants and a white fedora, just roll with it.

Because something cool is surely about to happen…

Love,

Daddy

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