January 8, 2014 at 9:13 pm , by Nick Shell

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

I’m very passionate about shining a spotlight on any stories or situations where dads are being portrayed in a positive spotlight, unlike 20/20’s disrespectful Father’s Day piece entitled “D Is For Dad And Dumb,” or those stereotypicalRobitussin commercials where the dad can’t help but wake the baby with all his annoying coughs.

Here’s a perfect example of the exact kind of story I love to feature:

A picture of Los Angeles dad (and blogger) Doyin Richards has gone viral. In the photo, he is seen brushing his daughter’s hair, while cradling his baby in an Ergo.

I think it’s interesting to dissect why this picture has resonated with so many people.

To me, it’s a candid view of what modern fatherhood is all about: involvement.

Clearly, this dad is involved… very involved– to the point he’s multitasking with his two children.

The picture is credible and sincere; and I think people appreciate that.

In addition to those things, I also found subtle and charming humor in it. I do see irony, but not the kind of irony as to imply that it’s weird for men to “babysit,” because that’s an outdated concept that both Doyin and I agree is not cool, as I see from this other picture from his blog, Daddy Doin’ Work.

What makes me laugh is because Doyin Richards appears to be a large, muscular, masculine guy who seems to be quite familiar with the routine and method of simultaneously getting his daughters ready in the morning; a very caring and thoughtful image.

He illustrates a perfect paradox of being both strong and gentile.

I’m sure the rest of the world has their own reasons for making the picture so popular, but those are the reasons I like it so much.

Gentile, yet strong, and definitely involved- I say that’s a good way to describe the modern dad.

Love,

Daddy

Photo credit: Doyin Richards of Daddy Doin’ Work.

September 19, 2013 at 11:11 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

Every morning as we’re getting ready to leave the house, one of the last things I do is put on your shoes.

Today, though, I came back from brushing my teeth to see you smiling on the stairs, with your new Sketchers already on.

In theory, I may have made a bigger of a deal out of it that necessary, but I had never considered that you could put your shoes on yourself.

I’ve always done that for you… everyday since I can remember.

You loved the fact you surprised me with this new skill of yours.

Then, shortly after, you sang your ABC’s all the way through, without messing up. That’s the first time I’ve heard you do that so flawlessly.

I’m proud of you. I just want to say that.

To be clear, I don’t just simply mean publicly. Sure, I’m proud of you like that, too.

But what I am really getting at is, privately, without the world watching or aware, I am proud of you.

As in, you make me proud, as my son.

I was thinking about this morning all day. During my lunch break, I stopped by Target to try to find you a 97 cent FJ Cruiser or Hummer; two SUV’s you are currently obsessed with.

You have way too many Hot Wheels cars already, but I just wanted to express my feelings to you. Turns out, I found neither car at the store, but just know I was so impressed by you that I at least tried.

Letting you know I’m proud of you is something I always want to keep at the forefront of our relationship. It’s important to me that you always know how I feel about you.

If I end up saying it too much, so be it.

Love,

Daddy

September 17, 2013 at 8:22 pm , by Nick Shell

 2 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

I mentioned yesterday how logic is beginning to play a more important role in your life. This doesn’t just apply to how you play with your toys.

It also has to do with learning which strategies work to get what you want from me.

Whether it’s a certain snack, or toy, or route home from school, you are learning that shouting and crying no longer work on me.

I have learned that you understand me when I tell you there’s a better (and easier) way to get what you want.

There’s no getting away with pretending you don’t speak the language. You totally understand what I’m saying now. And if you didn’t, you would make it clear to me.

Yesterday on the way home, you screamed, “Bridge! I want to go over the bridge! Turn right! Bridge.”

I spelled it out for you:

“Jack, if you want something from Daddy, you’ll need to ask please first, and not be crying when you ask for it. You’ll need to stop crying right now before it’s too late for me to cross the bridge. Otherwise, I’m going to turn left because it’s the quicker way home.”

You only hesitated for a second, as you realized your way wasn’t going to get you the results you were hoping for.

Like magic, the crying stopped and you asked please. We crossed the bridge, both literally and metaphorically.

(It’s funny how it’s sort of hard to use the word “please” when you’re screaming at someone, anyway.)

You knew from past experiences (and experiments) with me that when I say I’m going to do something, or not do it, I’m holding true to my word.

Had you not stopped crying, and not asked please, I wouldn’t have driven home the way you wanted. Perhaps that would have meant you would have cried and been upset the whole hour drive home.

Lucky for both of us, you learned the importance of how Daddy operates. With Daddy, there’s always a formula.

Get what you want by following the formula.

I’m about as stubborn as a computer, which doesn’t cave based on emotional responses. And I imagine, you will learn to become just as stubborn as I am, like that.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

June 24, 2013 at 11:26 pm , by Nick Shell

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

You have discovered the magic words:

“I love you.”

That even includes the times you say it when you’re simply trying to use it to your advantage.

Every night as I’m downstairs doing the dishes, Mommy will let you prop yourself up on the balcony of the staircase and yell to me, “Hey Daddy, I potty! I get an M&M!”

For some reason when you get tired and giddy at the same time, you gain this Austrian accent.

So it’s more like, “Hey Dah-dee, I pah-dee…”

A little bit later, after I’ve sang you three random songs, one of which is usually the theme song to The Lorax movie, I say goodnight and leave the room.

You wait until about 10 seconds after I’ve shut the door.

“Hey Dah-dee, I laaaahv yew!”

Even though it’s spoken in your unnecessary and cartoonish Arnold Schwarzenegger accent, I can’t resist.

I immediately open the door, kiss you, and tell you I love you too.

Knowing your plan to delay bedtime actually worked, you tell me even louder that you love me, even though you’re laughing and just trying to be funny at that point.

It’s funny how even though I clearly know it’s a ploy, I go along with it anyway.

Are you beginning to understand what the word “love” really means? It’s not something I can simply describe to a 2 and a half year-old in words.

Mommy and I can show you everyday, knowing that eventually you’ll connect the word to the action. But as far as the word really making sense to you 100%, I don’t think you’re there yet.

That doesn’t matter to me. Even if you’re simply processing what it means to love me, and what it means that I love you…

Well, that’s close enough for me. I’ll take it.

Love,

Daddy