A few weeks ago on Mother’s Day, my wife and I had Jack “dedicated” at our church. If you are not familiar with this Protestant practice, a “baby dedication” is a public ceremony where the parents of a new baby promise, in front of the pastor and the congregation, to grow up their child in the faith. As Jack’s parents, it is our responsibility to lead and guide him in our own moral and spiritual beliefs.
My son will not be left on his own to figure out who God is and why we believe that God’s love is the reason for our existence. Sure, Jack will have to make up his own mind when he gets old enough, but my faith is so crucial to every fiber of my being, that as a father I believe that one of the most important tasks I will ever have is to teach my son about the next life, as well as, teaching him to love others as himself in this life.
While I do value the public act of dedicating my son to the building up and growing of the heavenly kingdom we believe comes after this earthly life, the private version happened before he was even born. As Jack was still in the womb, I prayed for him. And now that he’s here, I continue to pray for him. After all, I believe that I haven’t simply brought another life into this world, but that I am also responsible for bringing another soul into existence– a soul I am unmistakably accountable for teaching what I believe is the meaning of life.
Whether you have been following my daddy blog since the beginning (April 13th, 2010) or whether you just recently started tuning in thanks to Parents.com picking up my series, something noticeably undeniable yet decently subtle in my writing content is the intertwining of my family’s everyday life events and our Christian faith. According to Wikipedia, nearly 80% of Americans identify themselves with Christianity (from Catholic to Protestant, and everything in between). So I would assume that nearly 80% of readers will identify with me when I write about my faith. For the other 20%, who have a different religion or maybe not one at all, please know that I welcome you just as much to The Dadabase.
Because no matter which faith we call our own, something we all have in common is that we are parents. We have children who we are trying to raise the best we can. And just like the faith of our choosing, so parenting is also a journey. By no means do I have my faith 100% figured out- I’m being humbled and broken down more everyday, and therefore maturing as a believer.
You think email forwards are so 1998? Think again.
There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who constantly send email forwards and those who are annoyed by them. Of course these days, email forwards have morphed themselves into a more relevant version- by showing up as the offender’s status update on Facebook and/or Twitter.
It’s hard to be cynical about status updates that tell you to repost if you know someone who has had some kind of sickness or disease. There’s nothing funny about that. Then they are the ones telling you to repost if you believe in God, are a Christian and proud of it, etc. Next are the ones telling you to repost if you support the military. Then it starts getting really generic… repost if you have a family member (like a brother or mom or cousin). Or if you’re proud to be from the South. Or if you realize that it’s okay not to like President Obama anymore and you want him out of office. If all else fails, make your status update a forward about gas prices- because man, that’s truly original.
I guess the question is, at what point in the downward spiral of all-encompassing status update forwards is it okay to be annoyed by seeing them? I can’t be annoyed about finding a cure for anything; that’s a given. We all want to find a cure for all diseases in the world as we have all been affected by the loss of someone close to us. So I’m okay with that one. And I guess I’m not supposed to be annoyed about the “proud to be a Christian” ones, because I’m not ashamed to be a Christian- but I would be ashamed to post “I’m proud to be a Christian and if you are too then you should repost this” as my status simply because I’m the kind of person who is annoyed by email forwards: I’m ashamed of forwards, not my beliefs- whether they’re religious, political, or whatever.
But I think it’s okay to be annoyed by the ones about having a cousin. And the political ones. And definitely the ones about gas prices.
To do my part, I am sharing my current Facebook status update with everyone:
- Please copy and paste this as your status if you know someone, or have heard of someone who knows someone. If you don’t know anyone, or even if you’ve heard of anyone who doesn’t know anyone, then do still copy this. It’s important to spread the message, even if no one knows anything about anyone. Oh, and the hearts. ♥ ♥ ♥ For goodness sake, don’t forget the hearts. ♥ ♥
Albany, Georgia is the official Christian Hollywood of the Southeast.
It used to be unthinkable that a truly Christian movie could make it to the big screen. So it was even more ridiculous to think about a Christian movie making tens of millions in profit: Fireproof was made on a budget of $500,000 and had a gross revenue of $33,456,317. But now, thanks to Sherwood Pictures of the megachurch Sherwood Baptist Church of Albany, Georgia, we might as well expect a new Christian movie to hit theaters every couple of years.
On September 30, 2011, the creators of Fireproof (and Facing the Giants) will be unleashing their newest movie, Courageous. Sorry, Kirk Cameron isn’t in this one. The plot line revolves around four policemen who must learn to apply the same courage they use everyday on the work force in the delicate yet crucial situations that a parent must encounter when raising a child. I remember when Kirk Cameron’s first Christian movie came out in 2000, Left Behind: The Movie. People from my church promoted it saying, “Come on people, we need to send a message to Hollywood that these are the kinds of movies that people want to see and will pay to see.” And now, over a decade later, our culture is at a curious enough and open-minded enough point to actually support Christian cinema.
Granted, it’s safe to say that many of us who went to the theatre to see Fireproof had realistic expectations that the acting would be on an amateur level. And with the exceptions of Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea (who played his wife), our expectations were met. Even so, I admit that the message of Fireproof really got to me, despite the “hey, you go to this church… want to be in a movie?” type of casting process. So I say if a Christian movie can make $33 million dollars despite a desperately small budget, despite using actors with basically no experience, and despite being filmed and directed by a volunteer based production company which is simply a ministry of a church, I’d say I can’t really knock it.
I might even say it’s a bit of a phenomenon. Sure, Sherwood Pictures could eventually release a real stinker of a movie and therefore end their winning streak; maybe even one so bad that people would stop going to the theatre to see their newest efforts. But considering that critics outside the church didn’t give Fireproof generally positive reviews for the most part, it’s almost as if we’re all learning that the secular critics’ reviews are simply irrelevant when Christians can make a movie which not only draws in unchurched ticket buyers, but also one that when on to become the greatest grossing independent film of 2008.
Lesson learned thanks to Sherwood Pictures: Enough people will trade top-notch production and professional acting for a movie that to them, even if in their own religious sub-culture, has a new message and is simply relevant.
Firefighters are to marriage problems as policemen are to parenthood. First Fireproof, now Courageous; what will be the next big idea in Christian entertainment? I have a few ideas…
Sherwood Pictures should try taking their talents to the small screen:
Christ’s Anatomy
What part of the body are you?
“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” – 1 Corinthians 12: 27
In this powerful new medical drama, Kirk Cameron stars as “Dr. McBeamy”, the strongest light at Albany Baptist Medical Center. Watch as he mentors the interns in The Way of the Master while still finding time to actually care for his patients. Also stars his real life wife Chelsea Noble as his wife on the show, so that he can actually kiss her onscreen, unlike his onscreen wife Erin Bethea at the end of Fireproof.
Devoted Preachers’ Wives
You think being happily married to a pastor of a Baptist Church isn’t full of drama? Think again.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” – Proverbs 31: 30
From warding off church gossip to making sure her preacher husband’s pinstripe suit and tassel-topped loafers are ready for the pulpit, Candace Cameron Bure (the real life sister of Kirk Cameron) plays Eve Appleton, a faithful mother and wife who finds comfort in the Christian fellowship of her close circle of friends, all who also happen to be preachers’ wives and amazing supermoms.
The Bridegroom
Will you accept this W.W.J.D. bracelet?
“But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Behold! The bridgeroom is coming! Come out to meet him!’ -Matthew 25: 6
What happens when 25 single and virtuous Christian young women are put in a church with one single and virtuous Christian young man? Eventually marriage; between one man and one woman. They’re all looking for love, and surprisingly all for the right reasons! Watch as Ben Wilder, the Bridegroom, takes his contestants on mission trips to exotic destinations like Guatemala and Honduras in a 15 passenger bus (the budget would not allow for helicopters) to find out who shows the best example of the Christian faith, eventually winning his heart. All to the background soundtrack of Point of Grace. She who wins the bridegroom’s heart will earn the final W.W.W.J bracelet and a worthy husband.
Seems like a strange pair, but we born-again Christians love our movies and TV just as much as everyone else. But where do we draw the line?
One of my favorite TV shows during 4th and 5th grade was surprisingly The Dick Van Dyke Show as it was featured in syndication on Nick at Nite. It was while watching that show (I was around 9 or 10) that it occurred to me, “Dick Van Dyke is kissing Mary Tyler Moore, but in real life, they may both be married to someone else who has to watch them kiss another person.” To me, that would just be too weird… and wrong. As much I fantasize about being an actor in a flash-sideways version of my life in some alternate path I could have chosen for myself a decade ago, I have to acknowledge that as a born-again Christian, there would be an exhaustive list of limitations for me as a legitimate actor. (Granted, Kirk Cameron got around the “have to kiss another woman” dilemma when he used his own wife as a stand-in at the end of the movie Fireproof.)
That’s not to say that there aren’t born-again Christians who act in mainstream media. For example, there’s the often-mistaken-as-a-Jew-but-actually-just-Welsh-American actor Zachary Levi, who is the protagonist of the hit show Chuck. He has been outspoken about his relationship with Jesus Christ. Click here to see what he said in one of his interviews with Relevant magazine. I am fascinated by his Hollywood success and his commitment to his faith. I would love to ask him about this very topic today; specifically this question, “As a Christian, what won’t you do in a role?” (Zachary Levi, if you’re reading this, feel free to comment and help me out. Thanks.)
Where does a Christian draw the line when it comes to acting? I would say kissing another person on stage is harmless except when either or both of them is married. And what about “love scenes” (scenes that involve sexual activity, with or without nudity)? What about profanity? Are there any words you just shouldn’t say? Personally, I could easily curse on camera before I could say, “oh my God”; because to use God’s name in vain is breaking one of the Ten Commandments, while cursing is simply a fading taboo of shifting rules set by the expectations of culture. To me, there are plenty far more destructive ways that words can be used that go against the Kingdom of God, like gossip, malicious sarcasm, and belittling.
Here’s where it gets really tricky. If you think it’s wrong to curse in a role or play a character who has premarital sex, how is that so different from playing a character who is a murderer? At least by playing a killer, you’re truly just pretending to play a character who is obviously in the wrong. But by being filmed semi-nude under covers in a bed, you’re sending a subconscious message that sex between two consenting adults doesn’t necessarily have any spiritual concerns attached to it.
So in theory, in 1983, as a born-again Christian, if given the opportunity to have Al Pacino’s lead role in Scarface, would I, should I, could I? For it’s time, the movie Scarface contained more profanity than any other film in history. It was originally rated NC-17 for its violent content. But in the end, (sorry if you haven’t seen the movie but you’ve had 28 years to see it so I feel okay about giving away the ending) all of Scarface’s sins find him out. It’s obvious that his life of violent crime led to his own demise and in the end, it wasn’t worth it. Does that mean that this movie teaches its viewers not to waste their lives in a mob, getting involved with violence and cocaine? In theory, yes. In theory, it has positive, redeeming value because in the end, crime doesn’t pay.
That’s something I’ve observed about Christian culture. It seems most Christians are okay with a character doing obviously un-Christian things if in the end they repent: Unlike the character of Stacy Hamilton, played by Jewish actress Jennifer Jason Leigh in the 1982 movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High, who decides to have an abortion and seemingly goes on to live a completely normal life, never regretting her decision. I contrast that to the song “Red Ragtop” by Tim McGraw, whether the 20 year-old protagonist gets his 18 year-old girlfriend pregnant and together they decide to have an abortion.
However, by the end of the song, though it’s not explicitly stated, the melancholy mood and subtle lyrics of the song itself convey the message “we can’t undo what we’ve done or beat ourselves up over it, but we do regret and it’s definitely a sad thing that happened”. Rightly assuming that Country music fans are mostly Christians (simple demographics), they helped the song rise to the #2 position on the Country charts.
Entertain this thought: Ask yourself privately, as a Christian, whether or not you would play the role of a character in a play, musical, TV show, or movie who would do any of the following things:
-use minor profanity
-use stronger profanity including racial or gender slurs, up to the “f-word”
-use God’s name in vain, whether it’s by saying “oh my God” or “G.D.”
-play a character who has premarital sex and never encounters any real negative consequences
-play a gay character who never actually kisses another actor
-play a gay character who does kiss another person of the same gender
-play a heterosexual character who jokingly kisses a person of the same gender on the lips, which happens quite often on Saturday Night Live
-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and who never curses or participates in any pre-material sexual relationship
-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and but does participate in some premarital sex and who does some cursing
-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and but does participate in some premarital sex and who does some cursing, but at the end accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior and from that point on lives a life in accordance to the teachings of Jesus
How is it any more wrong to play a homosexual actor than it is to play heterosexual actor who has premarital sex? Though both situations are perceived much differently by the general population, when it comes to my understanding of the Bible’s teaching of righteousness, I don’t see how one is any different or worse than the other. The way I understand it, Jesus died for all sin. Sin is sin is sin. No matter what kind it is, it separates us from God and causes every single one of us to need His grace.
Where do you draw the line as a Christian actor? Obviously to be involved in straight-up porno-graphy is out of the question for any sincere Christian. But there are so many millionths of the scale to get to that extreme. On the much slighter end of the scale is a man with his shirt off showing off his six-pack while he rides a horse bareback. Further down the scale is that same man passionately kissing a woman while in a hot tub, both in their swimsuits. Next is the same man and woman acting out a love scene in bed and though they are actually naked, they aren’t acting having sex underneath the blankets which strategically cover up certain parts of their bodies.
I remind myself that outside the culture of conservative Christianity, in reality the rest of the world behaves its own way regardless of our censorship. To imagine a real life group of people who in their everyday lives never cursed or had premarital sex (outside of the conservative Christian world) is to me, simply unbelievable. Taking away the elements of entertainment that are unChristian-like either makes the TV show or movie either A) unrealistic or B) a Christian movie like Facing the Giants.
I also remind myself that the Bible itself is full of violence, premarital sex, rape, and murder. There is homosexuality. There are concubines. There are instances were people cursed (like when Peter denied Christ). The King James Version of the Bible even contains the words “piss” and “ass”. If the entire Bible were made into an epic movie, could born-again Christians play every role?
But some point, acting is no longer simply just acting. It’s doing. So here’s my final thought about all this. In some technical, annoying way, are we as conservative, born-again Christians actually hypocrites for being spectators of popular entertainment?
Imagine this: Instead of the majority of the cast of Friends and Seinfeld being Jewish, instead they were all born-again Christians. Because of their faith-based convictions, none of them were willing to use any profanity or be involved in any situations that involved premarital sex. I know how beloved these two sitcoms are among the majority of Christians I know. But imagine a world where Ross Geller saying “We were on a break!” meant nothing to us.
Two Questions for You about This Today:
A) As much as we Christians love our sitcoms and movies, would they truly exist if we didn’t support them with our viewership because we ourselves wouldn’t be willing to play those roles the same way?
B) Where would you personally draw the line in regards to what you would or would not do for an acting role, hypothetically speaking, if you were an actor?
I sincerely would love to hear feedback from you, the invisible reader, on either or both of these proposed questions, by leaving a comment below. You don’t have to leave your name; you can easily remain anonymous if you wish.
If you’re not a conservative, born-again Christian, still free to answer as well… and please know how aware I am that the content of this entire post probably seems a bit… out there. For all I know, you may find it either laughable or offensive that we believe premarital sex is wrong or that kissing someone’s spouse is both weird and taboo. But what good is a religion that has no backbone or reasonable standards, despite how counter-culture those limitations may be? Thanks for reading despite the culture shock of it.
Surely something comes to mind, no matter who the person is.
Throughout my whole life, I have always visualized a noun or idea whenever I hear anyone’s last name. Maybe it’s just me that does that. But I felt that the habit was worth expanding on. So I asked my facebook friends what they thought of when they hear my last name, which is Shell- the German adjective for “loud and noisy”, originally spelled “Schel”. Their responses can be found at the very end of this post.
Then to demonstrate my thought process, I returned the favor:
Johnson- Johnsonville Brats
Rogers- a 1950’s milkman
York- the state, not the city
Clements- the Clampetts from the Beverly Hillbillies
Majer- the sitcom Major Dad
Kregenow- a city I made up in Michigan, that is only said best with a Midwestern accent
Hegar- Sammy Hagar
Alexander- Alexander the Great
McElhaney- Scottish people and GI Joe’s
Hardin- German people who love friend pickles
Welch- Welch’s grape juice
Creel- the Tori character from the final season of the original Saved by the Bell, played by actress Leanna Creel
Jenkins- Fat Albert and the Junkyard Band
Chapman- Steven Curtis Chapman, the Christian singer
Britt- a member of a British glam-rock band from the Eighties
Wilder- Gene Wilder, the Jewish actor who played the original Willy Wonka
Gordon- the singer Gordon Lightfoot
Part of my writing style is that I almost always try to bring the topic to a close by ending with some sort of ironic twist. So here it is:
How did we get last names in the first place? There are basically three major ways. First, the name could be referring to the town of where one of our ancestors lived: A common trait of Scottish last names is that they end in “ton”, which means town. So “Pinkerton” means “from the town of Pinker”. Second, the name could be recognizing an ancestral father or father figure: A common trait of English last names is that they end in “son”, which implies “son of”. So “Davidson” means “David’s son”. Similarly, Irish last names often begin “O’”, which also implies “son of”. So “O’ Conner” means “son of Conner.”
Thirdly, and most interestingly, the last name is referring to an adjective or physical trait that an ancestor was known for. Like the last names Short, Brown, Swift, Freeman, and Blessing. Notice how many Jewish last names refer to monetary wealth: Goldberg, Silverman, Richman, Diamond, and Sachs (as in “sacks” of money- though the actual reference is to a city in Germany, it’s still an interesting coincidence). With that being said, my habit of visualizing people’s last names is not a new thing at all. People have been doing this since… well, since people have had last names.
Nick Shell New assignment for you, friends: “What do you visualize when you think of my last name?” (If you answer me, I will answer you regarding your last name, on your wall; as well as tag you in the post when I publish it.)
Ashley Rogers Seashell…that always comes to my mind when someone has the last name Shell….and then I drift off thinking about how i”d love to be at the beach…. lol
December 1 at 11:58pm · Like
Crystal York Allen I think of the beach and the ocean. It is quiet calming.
December 2 at 12:20am · Like
Bobby Clements Sea shell (the smooth pretty kind) – then thoughts drift to the beach – then the waves – then the ocean – then to wonder why James Cameron is making a sequel to Avatar involving the ocean – then to why is James Cameron making a sequel at all.
Christy Perkins Hardin OK, so I’m different… I see that we are all start as just an empty shell, and the experiences of life fill us and mold us into the kind of person we become… ever-changing, as we add new experiences into our being. That shell may be filled with mostly good or mostly bad, and the choice is ours. Clearly, that shell is a God-shaped void…imagine what we would be if we actually filled that void with Him!
December 2 at 6:44am · Like
Jason Welch The “shell game” where there are three shells with a ball under one. You know, move them around and guess which has the ball.
December 2 at 7:26am · Like
Hjordis Maddock Creel Sea shells, any and all of them. I grew up in Florida and I love shells. I’ve got a collection of shells and I am always pondering what to do with them.
December 2 at 7:54am · Like
Will Jenkins a 70’s drawing of a little green turtle
December 2 at 9:56am · Like
Rita Gail Chapman I see seashells at the seashore…..three times, real fast!
Ben Wilder I think of you singing on stage. That’s the image of you I have in my head when your name comes up. And you laughing and shrugging your shoulders.