Storytelling

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Patience Is A Virtue… That You’re Still Working On

November 2, 2013 at 10:06 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Two weeks from today, you’ll turn 3 years old. Today Mommy picked up a few Hot Wheels pick-up trucks as party favors for your very small birthday party coming up; the theme is “Trucks.”

The intention was for you to receive one of these party favors yourself, at the time of your actual birthday party.

Yeah.

You convinced Mommy to let you “just hold” your favorite truck out of the bunch, a brown 1987 Toyota.

That’s right, you carried it, in the package, all day, out in public. We went to your school’s Halloween party today, with each member of our family having to hold your in-the-package pick-up truck at some point.

As you were receiving candy and prizes from your teachers along the way, there we were carrying around a packaged toy.

On the drive home tonight, you announced, “Somebody said I can open it.”

You’re unsure of exactly who it was, of course. Being that the only other two people in the car were Mommy and me, it really made the “somebody” a real mystery.

By the time we walked in the front door, Mommy left it up to me. The ridiculous compromise we settled on was that we would let you open your truck, but we had to keep the package in tact and “pretend” to open it in front of your birthday guests so it would seem like a surprise to you too.

Patience is a virtue… that you’re still working on. But hey, so am I. Honestly, who’s not still working on that one?

It’s so hard to hold back sometimes, even though the timing just isn’t right yet.

I know I’ve lived that lesson more times than I wish to count.

The good news for you is, I don’t see a lot of repercussions with you privately opening your own birthday party favor two weeks early.

No one ever has to know, especially since we managed to open the package without tearing it too badly.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

 

 

 

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The 1st and 2nd Half Of My Marriage, So Far

I have now been married 6 years. That time frame can be easily and interestingly divided in half.

6 Year Wedding Anniversary Lake Tahoe

The first half of that dichotomy was where as a married couple, my wife and I had not yet learned the hard way regarding finances.

We kept digging ourselves deeper in debt, on top of school loans, cars, and our nice wedding. Those were also the days we still ate at restaurants, too; which sucked up around $80 each week.

Also during that 1st half of our marriage, our son was born, and we moved away from our big city full of good jobs (Nashville) to my small hometown, where it was difficult to find a job at all.

And now for the 2nd half:

Three years through our now 6 year marriage, we moved back to Nashville, got good jobs again, and a year later, were finally out of debt. We’ve been saving our money ever since.

And let me tell you, we are not the same people we were before. We were forced to learn to become tightwads.

So now here we are, married 6 years, and the 2nd half of our marriage, in hindsight, has by default, been better.

These past 3 years have gotten us to so much better of a place in life. Granted, it’s contrasted to the first 3 years in which we lived in ignorant bliss.

In theory, life is more fun when you’re unaware of your responsibilities and the consequences of poor decisions which you didn’t realize were poor decisions at the time.

It’s sobering to realize that life has to be so much more serious than I had planned for it to be. I used to be so carefree.

The important thing is, my wife and I had each other to depend on through all we’ve learned together so far.

When I think of the “for better or worse” part of the marriage vows, this is the kind of stuff I think about.

The challenges we’ve conquered together (like learning how to strictly manage our money) weren’t fun to live through, but they made us better people.

So really, it’s not “for better or worse.” It’s for better and worse.

And in the strangest way, I actually see the romance in that.

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The Reward For A Job Well Done Is More Hard Work

October 30, 2013 at 10:45 pm , by 

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What Happens Upstairs While Daddy’s Doing The Dishes Below

October 30, 2013 at 9:27 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

About a month ago (at least) our dishwasher stopped working. Even if I had the handyman skills I wish that had, I still don’t see how I could budget that time into our time-starved schedule.

I imagine it would take a whole sacred Saturday afternoon (at best) for me to fix the thing. Eventually, Papa (my dad) and I will get it taken care of while he and Nana are visiting for the holidays.

The funny thing is, neither Mommy nor I really care that we currently don’t have a running dishwasher.

One of my roles in our household is to take care of all the dishes and clean up the kitchen after dinner each night.

I’ve always washed everything by hand anyway, so by now, having to fool with loading and unloading the dishwasher, not to mention having to to pay for the water and electricity to clean them a 2nd time, it just seems like too much hassle.

Though it may seem like a simple task, it takes me about 45 minutes to wash and dry all the dishes, put them away, wipe down the counters, and vacuum the floor.

During that time, I’m missing a world of fun upstairs.

That’s when Mommy gets you ready for bed. I never knew what I was missing!

But recently there was a night where we hardly had any dishes, so I got to check out what you two do while Daddy’s doing the dishes every night.

The lights were out and I discovered Mommy using only a flashlight to read you a bedtime story…

And to teach you how to make shadow puppets!

It’s funny because I’ve always wondered what all the laughing and jumping around was going on upd there, as I listened from down below:

Our kitchen is basically directly below your bedroom.

Mommy and you get to have fun; that’s what’s going on upstairs.

Meanwhile, I have the glorious job of dish duty while listening to Imagine Dragons.

I don’t mind, though. It’s important that you and Mommy get to have that special time together.

Since I’m the one you takes you to school, I have at least two exclusive hours a day that Mommy doesn’t.

Besides, being the “kitchenware engineer” helps me feel a little bit more useful around here, since I imagine most dads would have already fixed their broken dishwasher by now.

Granted, I could get you to bed a lot sooner myself, but I bet Mommy’s a lot more fun!

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

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You’re Not Entitled To Much In This Life, Except…

October 27, 2013 at 11:15 pm , by 

2 years, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Every once in a while, I try to take a break from narrating and bookmarking your life, and instead I like to share some advice on life, based on what I, as your dad, am experiencing.

Here is one of those things I especially want you to remember from me:

You’re not entitled to much in this life.

See, I am a child of the Eighties. Born in 1981, I am the firstborn of Generation Y.

Growing up, I was told by everyone, including every adult I knew, that I could do and become anything I dreamed of and put my heart into.

And I bought it. After all, I heard it all the time!

Yes, I do indeed believe that you, my son, can do and become anything you dream of.

But at the same time, I don’t want you taking that as simply as I did.

Because then there’s a chance your dreams will remain dreams, if you do. There’s a chance you may believe that making dreams come true is actually easier than it is.

It’s not easy.

I had to work very hard (and very smart) to get where I am in life.

But I admit, something that life has taught me, especially since joining the career world nearly a decade ago, is that basically, I’m entitled to… not a lot.

I used to believe I deserved certain things in life. I believed that because (at least in my own mind) I’m a “good person,” that meant I would be the automatic recipient of a somewhat easier path to my definition of success.

It has only been in recent years that I fully realized and accepted this is not so easily the case. Sure, I’m special, as every person is, but as far as being entitled to things in life because of it, I’ve found more of the opposite to be true.

Because if everyone is special, then it takes a lot more work to prove that you, as an individual, really are that special. (Hence the concept behind American Idol.)

So I had to lower my expectations on certain things in life. That happened by me nixing the belief that I am entitled to anything.

In fact, what exactly am I entitled to? That’s a deep thought- and right now, I honestly don’t know the answer.

Life is challenging. But as long as I am here in this life, you will have me not only rooting you on, but being that (sometimes annoying) person to also show you the fundamentals on how to make your dreams come true.

Based on what I know, it has a lot to do with capitalizing on what you’re already best at, while at the same time overcoming the challenges (and fears) of your weaknesses and not letting them be the reason you don’t get what you want in life.

I also know a lot of success in life has to do with money management, not simply making money: It’s crucial to become debt-free, then save and invest your money for the rest of your life.

You will always be hearing me preach this lesson to you because it was only this past July that our family worked our way out of over $58,000 of debt, now being able to save our money; and in the future, to be able to start investing it.

So that’s what you’ve got ahead of you, a life of hard (and smart) work.

You’re not entitled to much in this life, except… my direction and encouragement on how to work for dreams, not wait on or expect them.

You’re entitled to me passionately supporting your dreams, but you’re the one in the driver’s seat. I’m just reading the GPS to you.

You’re entitled to my love and support. I know that much.

 

Love,

Daddy