Storytelling

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Dear Jack: The Truck in Our Backyard

14 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

As we currently have a construction crew at our house to build our new sunroom, Mommy noticed that the crew left one of their trucks in our backyard at the end of the day.

I didn’t think anything of it when she sort of half-jokingly asked me, “Hey, will you go out there to that truck to make sure nobody died out there in it?”

A few minutes later, I casually reported back to her: “I can confirm there are no dead bodies in the truck in our backyard.”

From there, she and I went out on our daily post-dinner walk in the neighborhood. It was during that time that your sister asked you if there really was a dead body out in the truck in the backyard, based on what she overheard Mommy and I saying about it.

You didn’t think your sister would believe you, but she did… when you jokingly told her that there really was a dead body out there.

She immediately reached out to cousin Darla to announce the news both in text and voicemail: “So yeah… there is literally a dead body in the truck in our yard.”

A few hours later, I finally happened to check my phone; realizing that Aunt Dana was trying to figure out the details of the supposed murder mystery that had occurred just down the street at her brother’s house.

For the record…

Yes, the workers left behind their truck in our yard overnight.

No, there were no workers left behind in that truck.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: Running You Around to Do Girl Things

9 years, 4 months.

Dear Holly,

I am driven in life by challenge. I just don’t do well sitting around with nothing to do.

So I actually was looking forward to this past Saturday, as I would basically be serving as your taxi all day for the fun activities of a 9 year-old girl.

You had been saying for weeks that you and your cousin Darla needed to go to a jump park. So Mommy found one less than an hour away, along with a place to stop for pizza after lunch.

That evening, it just so happened that you and your cousin were both invited to the same birthday party. So we dropped you off there for the rest of the evening.

The next morning, I asked Mommy, “Why do I feel so tired today?”

She reminded me, “It’s probably because you were driving us around all day yesterday!”

And I loved doing it.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Holly: The Trophy I Am Proudest Of

9 years, 3 months.

Dear Holly,

At my work desk, displayed in front of my fancy award for being one of the top recruiters a few years back at work, is the strip of photos our family recently took at the photo booth at Mommy’s work party.

I’ll directly point out the obvious:

The “trophy” I am proudest of in my entire life is my family.

It is not lost on me what a reward it is to have the wife and kids that I do.

I think of how fairy tales end with the classic phrase, “And they all lived happily ever after.”

Well, this is what that actually looks like in real life.

We’re living it, right now.

Love,

Daddy

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Dear Jack: A Buddy Who Looks Up to You

14 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

After last week’s 3rd Saturday Cruise-In was cancelled at the last minute due to rain, you and your sister both still wanted to get out and do something. We had already planned to see our family friends, the McDaniels, there.

Mommy suggested Cracker Barrel instead, so that’s where we all ended up.

Just like a few weeks ago when we had them over at our house for dinner, their young son Walter buddied up to you.

After we ordered our food, you entertained him by playing him at that peg game they always have there on the table. And after dinner, he apparently taught you how to play checkers?

Your composure around him is so laughably nonchalant, yet still I can tell he thinks you’re really cool to hang out with.

Love,

Daddy

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That Moment You Realize Your Opinion Doesn’t Actually Matter Outside of Your Own Head

It felt like both a personal tragedy as well as the biggest relief, the moment I realized, “Oh… my personal opinion doesn’t really matter all that much outside of my own head. Wait… nobody cares? This is horrible! Wait… nobody cares? Ah… this is great, actually.”

And it wasn’t just me. I now can see that regardless of their current age, so many people live their lives constantly chasing validation of their own identity. It was a sobering revelation for me to realize this about myself- and it explained how I had lived so many years of my life.

Especially in my early and mid 30s, I “needed” people to agree with my opinions: I needed to “be right”. I took on the impossible responsibility of trying to make everyone around me think like I did.

 

But now at this point in life, I am years into living with the refreshing perspective that so little of the things that people worry about actually matter… as most of those things people worry about are the things we don’t actually have any control over.

A couple months ago I came across a meme that I found particularly helpful. Granted, it was laced in profanity. So here’s my own cleaned up version:

“Stages of the Awakening”

  1. Blissful ignorance.
  2. Nothing makes sense anymore.
  3. We’re doomed.
  4. Wake up, sheeple!
  5. Get off my lawn!
  6. Realizing that becoming the most loving and joyful version of myself, despite the chaos of the world around me, is the greatest rebellion.

Part of why I am finding it so much easier to be the most loving and joyful version of myself is because I stopped seeking the “validation of being right”. Granted, I still live by strong convictions that guide my own personal decisions and my lifestyle.

But I now know if I were even able to successfully prove I am right and another person is wrong, I would not be rewarded with that person’s respect. Instead, I would be met with their resentment. That is what life has actually taught me.

The self-destructive default had been for me to attempt to gain a sense of control over others by trying to convince them to agree with our my perspective, yet what I was actually seeking was emotional connection with the people in my life.

My personal opinion doesn’t really matter all that much outside of my own head. Being emotionally connected with other people does. Got it.