Spirituality

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Seeing Your Life Flash Before Your Eyes in a God-Nudged Leap of Faith (Like Being in a Near Death Experience)

I will begin with an excerpt from the final scene of the movie American Beauty, narrated by the protagonist “Lester Burnham”- played by Kevin Spacey:

“I’d always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn’t a second at all. It stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars. And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street. Or my grandmother’s hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper… It’s hard to stay mad when there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m sure. But don’t worry, you will someday.“

I would venture to say that every living person is familiar with the idea of your own life flashing before your eyes right before you die- whether you actually die or it’s just a near death experience.  Interestingly, it’s not career titles or material possessions that are included in these flashes. Seeing your life flash before your eyes is a great way to be reminded of what’s truly important to you: People and the important events of our lives that involve them. “Loved ones”, as we tend to call these important family members, friends, and mentors- though sometimes that term is used more often after they have passed on.

Knowing that the living people who I am closest to are the most important and influential thing in my life, they became the inspiration for my leap of faith.  My wife and I decided that bringing our son into this world meant we should move to my hometown to be surrounded by family.  Honestly, it wasn’t that difficult for me to abandon the financial security we had back in Nashville.  Because again, it’s wasn’t financial security that showed up when I allowed my life to flash before my eyes.  On many levels it may seem foolish that we left steady jobs in a very unsteady job market, but we believed that God would honor our trust in Him to provide for us, knowing we deliberately chose family over financial security.

Though I’m not in a near death experience right now, in this God-nudged leap of faith, time is standing still as I see a constant slideshow of what I have lived through as well as what I hope to see once I land.  I struggle daily not to play the “what if?” game, regarding my past.  But at this point, it’s not about the decisions that led me to this difficult place.  It’s what God can do with this situation and how He can be seen by others because of it.  Not to mention, I know that this event will either enhance my faith through discipline and patience, or it will cause me to foolishly put faith in men who may or may not provide a job for me.

Fortunately, it’s not people who provide jobs anyway.  It’s not them who help me provide for my family.  It is completely God.  That’s something I have begun reminding myself daily.  And in the process, I have been directed to one of God’s Hebrew names: Jehovah Jireh.  It means “The Lord will provide”.  I have been getting in the habit of praying to Jehovah Jireh, as His name specifically declares His providence.

I am not hopeless.  I will personally admit that as a man who is designed to care for his family, not having a job though I am fully capable and qualified, is quickly taking away my dignity.  But really, is dignity what I am after?  No.  Seeking after God and only trusting in him, not men or corporations or even myself, is a humiliating process.  The word “humiliating” has such a negative connotation to it.  But being humbled is important.  Pride is to be damned, literally.  It only gets in the way.

So damn my pride to hell.  Damn my dignity too.  So what if every time a new door closes a new one opens, only to be shut just like the others.  More than once now my wife and I have seen the perfect jobs dangled right in front of us in job interviews, being one of two final candidates for the position.  But ultimately, the blessing of a job goes to the other person- a person who statistically predicting, would not jump at the chance to glorify God in the way we will once they get a job.  Or a sudden hiring freeze appears.  Something has always caused to the door to shut, so far.

I don’t even know anymore whether these “almost got the job” situations are a result of spiritual warfare in some lesser modern day story of Job or whether it is God Himself allowing these interceptions to increase our faith in Him.  As I watch our $10,000 in savings that we moved here with dwindle to less than half that now, I wonder if taking this leap of faith with $75,000 would have made any difference.  Because then we would have $65,000 more confidence in ourselves.

It’s not money we need- it’s jobs.  And men can’t provide those- only God can. Whatever the lesson is to be learned here, we will learn it.  God will provide. It’s His name, after all.  Jehovah Jireh, I believe it!

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Proverbs 29:23
A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

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dad from day one: Why Technically Baby Jack is a Year Old Today

Week 13. (Three months.)

3 months out of the womb + 9 months in the womb = 12 months

I had always heard that in certain Asian countries, you are considered a year old as soon as you are born.  Then I went to South Korea in 2004 to work with some high school boys at a “Learn Conversational English” camp.  Sure enough, they all told me there were 17 years old, but when I compared their birthdays to the age they claimed to be, I realized that South Koreans do indeed hold the belief that you born a year old.  The boys were only 16 years old; the way we Americans see it.

But really, this makes much more sense to me than being “zero” the day you are born.  Sure, we spend 9 months in our mother’s womb, not a full 12 months, but 9 months is definitely closer to a year than to zero months. So in that case, I’m already in my thirties! Baby Jack is officially three months old today, though he has been alive a full year now.

At three months, Jack officially “talks”, turns his head when he hears my voice (he wasn’t always able to hear my deep voice), grabs onto my hand when I hold him, and as of last night, can officially turn over to his stomach completely on his own. He has to wear clothes for 6 month olds now.  And while I’m led to believe that he is indeed a big baby, I think he’s just starting out life with a bit of a growth spirt. His bulky forearms remind me of Popeye.

Jack in his "baked potato" outfit.

 

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The Dichotomy of Man: Why Super Heroes and Alter Egos are Embedded into Popular Culture (Featuring Dexter Morgan and the Characters of LOST)

The man in the mirror has a dark side.

I am not a comic book nerd.  Instead, I am simply an American who is well aware of our nation’s love and fascination of super heroes.  So why are we so obsessed with men who fly around with their underwear outside their clothes, while pretending to be an insect or animal?  Why do their movies make hundreds of millions, thanks to both kids and adults alike? Because super heroes reflect us normal human beings: inside and out.

Here’s what you need to know (and probably already subconsciously know) about super heroes.

1- They save good people from bad people.

2- They have a mysterious and troubled past.

3- They have super powers, skills, abilities, or insight.

4- They sometimes struggle with discerning good from evil, as they realize they are in some ways evil themselves.

5- They have at least one major arch nemesis.

6- They wear some sort of costume.

7- They have an alter ego; or at least a side of them they hide from most people.

8- They find it difficult to have meaningful relationships and friendships with others.  (If nothing else, their schedule does not allow for it.)

9- They have a debilitating weakness.

10- They were created by Jewish writers.  (Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Iron Man, The Hulk, Wonder Woman, LOST, Dexter, and even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… It’s pretty difficult to find an exception.)

Maybe it seems a bit of a stretch to consider the characters of LOST as super heroes, but several of them had mysterious powers (at least on the island), they helped each other survive, and they all had some kind of trouble in their past that not only defined them but also that continued to be a struggle.  And while that does make for good development on the show, it also is a concept that most of us can relate to.  It’s not just the obvious “are they are good guy or a bad guy?” characters like Ben Linus and Sayid Jarrah who struggled with their own consciouses and gray area moral dilemmas.  Even seemingly innocent characters like Sun Kwon had a hidden (but shady) alter ego.

This dichotomy of man, the “man has two sides” concept, is also very obvious in the Showtime series Dexter.  Yes, he is a serial killer.  But Dexter only tracks down and kills serial killers and rapists (though he eventually kills a few innocent victims by mistake).  Admittedly, I myself never killed anyone, yet I relate to the show deeply.  I’ve even read that males, in particular, live with a constant struggle of feeling inadequate- like an imposter who is about to be found out for who they really are. Aside from any basic religious aspects, at some point in life we end up asking and answering the question, “Am I ultimately a good person or a bad person?”

Are we simply adding to the noise? And for those who do realize that they are ultimately more bad then they are good, are they willing to change, or will they simply accept whatever eternal fate that may befall them? The concept of good versus evil is one we are subconsciously obsessed with.  It’s true: We as humans are both good and bad. The same person who steals your credit card information today may thoughtlessly save life a stranger’s life tomorrow.  We are both saints and sinners; but it’s ultimately the identity which we allow to consume us that is our true identity.

So it makes sense that we relate the idea of having an alter ego.  We display a different version of ourselves at work for 8 hours or more each day.  We have to, in order to survive in that environment.  We all must have “tweakable” perspectives and personalities.  You can’t treat your child the same way your treat your boss.  You can’t reveal the same vulnerability to coworker as you must to your spouse.

We know we are supposed to just be ourselves and never really hide who we truly are.  But that’s simply not reality.  In a sense, the reality is that we are ultimately all super heroes with alter egos…  Unless you are one of the true villains of the world.

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Jesus and Hollywood: How Sherwood Pictures Has Caused the Rise of the Christian Movie Franchise

Albany, Georgia is the official Christian Hollywood of the Southeast.

It used to be unthinkable that a truly Christian movie could make it to the big screen.  So it was even more ridiculous to think about a Christian movie making tens of millions in profit: Fireproof was made on a budget of $500,000 and had a gross revenue of $33,456,317. But now, thanks to Sherwood Pictures of the megachurch Sherwood Baptist Church of Albany, Georgia, we might as well expect a new Christian movie to hit theaters every couple of years.

On September 30, 2011, the creators of Fireproof (and Facing the Giants) will be unleashing their newest movie, Courageous. Sorry, Kirk Cameron isn’t in this one. The plot line revolves around four policemen who must learn to apply the same courage they use everyday on the work force in the delicate yet crucial situations that a parent must encounter when raising a child.  I remember when Kirk Cameron’s first Christian movie came out in 2000, Left Behind: The Movie. People from my church promoted it saying, “Come on people, we need to send a message to Hollywood that these are the kinds of movies that people want to see and will pay to see.”  And now, over a decade later, our culture is at a curious enough and open-minded enough point to actually support Christian cinema.

Granted, it’s safe to say that many of us who went to the theatre to see Fireproof had realistic expectations that the acting would be on an amateur level.  And with the exceptions of Kirk Cameron and Erin Bethea (who played his wife), our expectations were met.  Even so, I admit that the message of Fireproof really got to me, despite the “hey, you go to this church… want to be in a movie?” type of casting process.  So I say if a Christian movie can make $33 million dollars despite a desperately small budget, despite using actors with basically no experience, and despite being filmed and directed by a volunteer based production company which is simply a ministry of a church, I’d say I can’t really knock it.

I might even say it’s a bit of a phenomenon.  Sure, Sherwood Pictures could eventually release a real stinker of a movie and therefore end their winning streak; maybe even one so bad that people would stop going to the theatre to see their newest efforts.  But considering that critics outside the church didn’t give Fireproof generally positive reviews for the most part, it’s almost as if we’re all learning that the secular critics’ reviews are simply irrelevant when Christians can make a movie which not only draws in unchurched ticket buyers, but also one that when on to become the greatest grossing independent film of 2008.

Lesson learned thanks to Sherwood Pictures: Enough people will trade top-notch production and professional acting for a movie that to them, even if in their own religious sub-culture, has a new message and is simply relevant.

Firefighters are to marriage problems as policemen are to parenthood.  First Fireproof, now Courageous; what will be the next big idea in Christian entertainment?  I have a few ideas…

Sherwood Pictures should try taking their talents to the small screen:

Christ’s Anatomy

 

What part of the body are you?

“Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” – 1 Corinthians 12: 27

In this powerful new medical drama, Kirk Cameron stars as “Dr. McBeamy”, the strongest light at Albany Baptist Medical Center.  Watch as he mentors the interns in The Way of the Master while still finding time to actually care for his patients.  Also stars his real life wife Chelsea Noble as his wife on the show, so that he can actually kiss her onscreen, unlike his onscreen wife Erin Bethea at the end of Fireproof.

Devoted Preachers’ Wives

You think being happily married to a pastor of a Baptist Church isn’t full of drama?  Think again.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” – Proverbs 31: 30

From warding off church gossip to making sure her preacher husband’s pinstripe suit and tassel-topped loafers are ready for the pulpit, Candace Cameron Bure (the real life sister of Kirk Cameron) plays Eve Appleton, a faithful mother and wife who finds comfort in the Christian fellowship of her close circle of friends, all who also happen to be preachers’ wives and amazing supermoms.

The Bridegroom

Will you accept this W.W.J.D. bracelet?

“But at midnight there was a cry, ‘Behold! The bridgeroom is coming!  Come out to meet him!’ -Matthew 25: 6

What happens when 25 single and virtuous Christian young women are put in a church with one single and virtuous Christian young man?  Eventually marriage; between one man and one woman.  They’re all looking for love, and surprisingly all for the right reasons! Watch as Ben Wilder, the Bridegroom, takes his contestants on mission trips to exotic destinations like Guatemala and Honduras in a 15 passenger bus (the budget would not allow for helicopters) to find out who shows the best example of the Christian faith, eventually winning his heart.  All to the background soundtrack of Point of Grace.  She who wins the bridegroom’s heart will earn the final W.W.W.J bracelet and a worthy husband.

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Jesus and Hollywood: What’s the Difference between Acting and Actually Doing, Especially as a Christian? (Pondering Profanity, Sexuality, and Violence)

 

 

Seems like a strange pair, but we born-again Christians love our movies and TV just as much as everyone else.  But where do we draw the line?

One of my favorite TV shows during 4th and 5th grade was surprisingly The Dick Van Dyke Show as it was featured in syndication on Nick at Nite.  It was while watching that show (I was around 9 or 10) that it occurred to me, “Dick Van Dyke is kissing Mary Tyler Moore, but in real life, they may both be married to someone else who has to watch them kiss another person.”  To me, that would just be too weird… and wrong.  As much I fantasize about being an actor in a flash-sideways version of my life in some alternate path I could have chosen for myself a decade ago, I have to acknowledge that as a born-again Christian, there would be an exhaustive list of limitations for me as a legitimate actor.  (Granted, Kirk Cameron got around the “have to kiss another woman” dilemma when he used his own wife as a stand-in at the end of the movie Fireproof.)

That’s not to say that there aren’t born-again Christians who act in mainstream media.  For example, there’s the often-mistaken-as-a-Jew-but-actually-just-Welsh-American actor Zachary Levi, who is the protagonist of the hit show Chuck.  He has been outspoken about his relationship with Jesus Christ.  Click here to see what he said in one of his interviews with Relevant magazine.  I am fascinated by his Hollywood success and his commitment to his faith.  I would love to ask him about this very topic today; specifically this question, “As a Christian, what won’t you do in a role?”  (Zachary Levi, if you’re reading this, feel free to comment and help me out.  Thanks.)

Where does a Christian draw the line when it comes to acting?  I would say kissing another person on stage is harmless except when either or both of them is married.  And what about “love scenes” (scenes that involve sexual activity, with or without nudity)? What about profanity? Are there any words you just shouldn’t say?  Personally, I could easily curse on camera before I could say, “oh my God”; because to use God’s name in vain is breaking one of the Ten Commandments, while cursing is simply a fading taboo of shifting rules set by the expectations of culture.  To me, there are plenty far more destructive ways that words can be used that go against the Kingdom of God, like gossip, malicious sarcasm, and belittling.

Here’s where it gets really tricky.  If you think it’s wrong to curse in a role or play a character who has premarital sex, how is that so different from playing a character who is a murderer?  At least by playing a killer, you’re truly just pretending to play a character who is obviously in the wrong.  But by being filmed semi-nude under covers in a bed, you’re sending a subconscious message that sex between two consenting adults doesn’t necessarily have any spiritual concerns attached to it.

So in theory, in 1983, as a born-again Christian, if given the opportunity to have Al Pacino’s lead role in Scarface, would I, should I, could I?  For it’s time, the movie Scarface contained more profanity than any other film in history.  It was originally rated NC-17 for its violent content.  But in the end, (sorry if you haven’t seen the movie but you’ve had 28 years to see it so I feel okay about giving away the ending) all of Scarface’s sins find him out.  It’s obvious that his life of violent crime led to his own demise and in the end, it wasn’t worth it. Does that mean that this movie teaches its viewers not to waste their lives in a mob, getting  involved with violence and cocaine?  In theory, yes.  In theory, it has positive, redeeming value because in the end, crime doesn’t pay.

That’s something I’ve observed about Christian culture.  It seems most Christians are okay with a character doing obviously un-Christian things if in the end they repent: Unlike the character of Stacy Hamilton, played by Jewish actress Jennifer Jason Leigh in the 1982 movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High, who decides to have an abortion and seemingly goes on to live a completely normal life, never regretting her decision.  I contrast that to the song “Red Ragtop” by Tim McGraw, whether the 20 year-old protagonist gets his 18 year-old girlfriend pregnant and together they decide to have an abortion.

However, by the end of the song, though it’s not explicitly stated, the melancholy mood and subtle lyrics of the song itself convey the message “we can’t undo what we’ve done or beat ourselves up over it, but we do regret and it’s definitely a sad thing that happened”.  Rightly assuming that Country music fans are mostly Christians (simple demographics), they helped the song rise to the #2 position on the Country charts.

Entertain this thought: Ask yourself privately, as a Christian, whether or not you would play the role of a character in a play, musical, TV show, or movie who would do any of the following things:

-use minor profanity

-use stronger profanity including racial or gender slurs, up to the “f-word”

-use God’s name in vain, whether it’s by saying “oh my God” or “G.D.”

-play a character who has premarital sex and never encounters any real negative consequences

-play a gay character who never actually kisses another actor

-play a gay character who does kiss another person of the same gender

-play a heterosexual character who jokingly kisses a person of the same gender on the lips, which happens quite often on Saturday Night Live

-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and who never curses or participates in any pre-material sexual relationship

-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and but does participate in some premarital sex and who does some cursing

-play a serial killer and rapist, though no explicit violence is ever shown on screen and but does participate in some premarital sex and who does some cursing, but at the end accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior and from that point on lives a life in accordance to the teachings of Jesus

How is it any more wrong to play a homosexual actor than it is to play heterosexual actor who has premarital sex?  Though both situations are perceived much differently by the general population, when it comes to my understanding of the Bible’s teaching of righteousness, I don’t see how one is any different or worse than the other.  The way I understand it, Jesus died for all sin.  Sin is sin is sin.  No matter what kind it is, it separates us from God and causes every single one of us to need His grace.

Where do you draw the line as a Christian actor? Obviously to be involved in straight-up porno-graphy is out of the question for any sincere Christian.  But there are so many millionths of the scale to get to that extreme.  On the much slighter end of the scale is a man with his shirt off showing off his six-pack while he rides a horse bareback.  Further down the scale is that same man passionately kissing a woman while in a hot tub, both in their swimsuits.  Next is the same man and woman acting out a love scene in bed and though they are actually naked, they aren’t acting having sex underneath the blankets which strategically cover up certain parts of their bodies.

I remind myself that outside the culture of conservative Christianity, in reality the rest of the world behaves its own way regardless of our censorship.  To imagine a real life group of people who in their everyday lives never cursed or had premarital sex (outside of the conservative Christian world) is to me, simply unbelievable.  Taking away the elements of entertainment that are unChristian-like either makes the TV show or movie either A) unrealistic or B) a Christian movie like Facing the Giants.

I also remind myself that the Bible itself is full of violence, premarital sex, rape, and murder. There is homosexuality.  There are concubines.  There are instances were people cursed (like when Peter denied Christ).  The King James Version of the Bible even contains the words “piss” and “ass”.  If the entire Bible were made into an epic movie, could born-again Christians play every role?

But some point, acting is no longer simply just acting.  It’s doing.  So here’s my final thought about all this.  In some technical, annoying way, are we as conservative, born-again Christians actually hypocrites for being spectators of popular entertainment?

Imagine this: Instead of the majority of the cast of Friends and Seinfeld being Jewish, instead they were all born-again Christians.  Because of their faith-based convictions, none of them were willing to use any profanity or be involved in any situations that involved premarital sex.  I know how beloved these two sitcoms are among the majority of Christians I know.  But imagine a world where Ross Geller saying “We were on a break!” meant nothing to us.

Two Questions for You about This Today:

A) As much as we Christians love our sitcoms and movies, would they truly exist if we didn’t support them with our viewership because we ourselves wouldn’t be willing to play those roles the same way?

B) Where would you personally draw the line in regards to what you would or would not do for an acting role, hypothetically speaking, if you were an actor?

I sincerely would love to hear feedback from you, the invisible reader, on either or both of these proposed questions, by leaving a comment below.  You don’t have to leave your name; you can easily remain anonymous if you wish.

If you’re not a conservative, born-again Christian, still free to answer as well… and please know how aware I am that the content of this entire post probably seems a bit… out there.  For all I know, you may find it either laughable or offensive that we believe premarital sex is wrong or that kissing someone’s spouse is both weird and taboo.  But what good is a religion that has no backbone or reasonable standards, despite how counter-culture those limitations may be? Thanks for reading despite the culture shock of it.