Don’t You Think If I Were Wrong, I’d Know It? (A 5 Point Psychological Dissection)

Don’t You Think If I Were Wrong, I’d Know It? (A 5 Point Psychological Dissection)

I admit. I’ve never seen an episode of The Big Bang Theory. For years now, people have been telling me it would be my kind of humor. Yet, I’ve just never gotten around to watching it.

However, thanks to an Internet meme, I am definitely aware of a funny line that Sheldon apparently said in Episode 2 of Season 3:

“Don’t you think if I were wrong, I’d know it?”

I find that quote to be worthy of dissecting, from a psychological point of view.

For a person to ask that question, it assumes the following about them:

  1. They have the ability to always instantly self-identify when they are about to be wrong.
  2. Therefore, they immediately change their mindset, convictions, and actions the moment they identify truth; and always do it before anyone else can notice it.
  3. Therefore, they technically are only privately wrong about anything for a split-second, since they have the ability to notice it right away.
  4. Therefore, they are immune to human accountability.
  5. Therefore, they have the privilege of legitimately being close-minded to all constructive criticism.

And here’s the irony of that theory:

In reality, a person who is close-minded to constructive criticism is limiting their ability to learn more and improve their own life, therefore proving they are less intelligent than those who are open to learning.

Therefore, to ensure I don’t endanger myself of having such a close-minded mindset where I believe I am immune to constructive criticism, I constantly assume I am wrong at least 50% of the time.

My self-esteem is high and I have much confidence in my ability to make good decisions. However, it would limit me to believe that only in a rare occasion could I be wrong about something.

On the contrary, I am fully aware I put myself in a position to get further in life A) by being so open to criticism to learn to be a more efficient and educated human being and B) because so many people on this planet are not willing to so, therefore putting me further ahead.

The general concept is introduced in Robert Kiyosaki’s Best Seller book: Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

He explains that the people who get ahead and stay head in business are the ones who are willing to do that things that most people aren’t willing to do.

I have learned that most, or at least many, people are not willing to make themselves a sponge for constructive criticism.

Instead, they allow themselves to become victims because they give power and authority to other people by giving them the authority to “hurt my feelings.”

As I recently mentioned, I don’t give other people the ability to offend me.

Eleanor Roosevelt make this concept easily understandable with her famous quote: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

So for the record, there’s a good chance that if I were wrong, I wouldn’t know it.

5 Simple Psychological Steps to Winning an Argument, by Nick Shell

5 Simple Psychological Steps to Winning an Argument

Being a dad, and working in a customer service department by day, for several years now, I feel I have taught myself the art of winning arguments.

I should point out, though, that winning an argument isn’t exactly what you might think. It’s not simply convincing the other person to agree with you and to officially admit they are wrong and you are right.

Because that would simply be superficial.

Instead, my definition of winning an arguments is this:

Establishing yourself as the leader of the current conflicted conversation and helping the two of your move forward together in the same positive direction.

With that being said, here are my 5 simple psychological steps to winning an argument:

1.       Let the other person carry all the emotion, which in contrast, sets them up as the unstable, irrational person.

2.       Do not rebuttal their claims. Instead, remain silent, look into their eyes, while not shaking your head “yes” or “no”, nor saying “mmm hmm” or “okay” to imply you agree or disagree, all while mentally collecting their most incriminating and accusatory statements against you, which will likely include them using illegitimate and impossible claims like “you always” and “you never”. Make sure you don’t smile, as smiling can be perceived as insincere and/or condescending.

3.       Instead of you bringing up any offensive actions on their part which led to this confrontation, when they finish speaking, ask them to clarify statements only from the existing conversation, asking, “I just want to make sure I am hearing you correctly. Are you saying…?” Keep it in question format, which prevents your words from becoming a claim against them. Apologize for the confusion on your part if they disagree with the question you ask based on their statements.

4.       State no opinions of your own. Speak only using undeniable facts as well as direct quotes that they used just minutes earlier in the conversation. Get them to agree with these facts and quotes, by asking, “I want to make sure we’re on the same page right now. Do we both agree that…?” Then state an undeniable fact or one of their quotes, not an opinion or claim; which helps back up your own point using statements they either already agree with or having at least stated already on their part. At this point they will likely begin back-peddling  their claims against you as they begin to hear how extreme and emotional their earlier statements were.

5.       Make it clear you want peace with them and want to bring positive closure to the incident. Apologize for offending/hurting their feelings by acknowledging exactly what you did their hurt them emotionally; which is often the actual issue; their own perception of an emotional attack.  Ask them, “What can I do right now to work together with you to resolve this? I want to move forward together with you. What I can do differently on my part? I want to take responsibility here.”  If they give you no answer, offer your own suggestion, beginning with, “I feel that maybe what I can do differently on my part is…” Then follow up with, “How do you feel about that approach?” Even if they at best indifferently agree to your proposed solution, finalize the deal by closing with, “I could definitely be wrong about the solution here, but based on our conversation today, it seems like the best option right now. We’ll try it- and if it doesn’t work after a few weeks, we’ll try a new approach.

By default, you have just won the argument. You have clearly and sincerely demonstrated that you have listened carefully without attacking them, using their own “ammunition” in a more proactive, positive, constructive way as you recognize it as something you yourself are willing to specifically and personally address and alter your own behavior accordingly.

From there, it makes it quite difficult for them to see you as an adversary, but instead, a stable and confident leader who is worth trusting. Even though you “won,” you have much responsibility to actually carry out the solution, in addition to having helped the other person mutually discover, understand, and agree to that solution with you.

Here’s the 4 minute video version:

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

Unless you are Anthony Bourdain, Tony Danza, or Don Henley, chances are you haven’t won the “follicle lottery.”

Most men, myself included, find that by the time they near the age of 35, not only does their hairline recede, but almost even worse, their hair on top begins thinning out significantly.

That combination begins limiting hairstyles for a man. The best response is to start cutting it much shorter on the sides and the back (anywhere between a 2 and 4 guard on the clippers), so that the top looks fuller.

Even then, the top has to be fairly long to distract from the fact that it is indeed thinning. Notice in this picture (below) from this past summer, how you can see how my hair in the front is thinner; I can see scalp in the midst of my hair.

It’s important to me that I am not in denial when it comes to my hair. I embrace reality and don’t try to hide it from the outside world.

So for my hair to look the best, I have to grow it fairly long on top, then pay nearly $20 a month to pay to get it maintained.

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

But what’s the real advantage of a nearly 35 year-old man having hair anyway?

On the contraire, I have learned it’s actually better, in many ways, to choose to be bald.

1)      Many women like the look of a man with a shaved head. My wife is one of them. She’s never liked my hair when it was longer. But when I keep it short, she never has any complaints. Perhaps the psychology is this: “Bald equals masculine, and therefore, equals attractive to women who are attracted to masculine men.”

2)      It’s free to shave your head. A pair of clippers is all you need; no need to go out pay someone at least 20 bucks for a traditional haircut every month. I prefer the 1.5 guard on the clippers as it perfectly matches the thinner area of my hairline; looking more aesthetic all over.

3)      Men with shaved heads look more confident. Those of us who choose to bald show a strong level of confidence in ourselves in being able to commit to such a fairly extreme, yet butch hairstyle.

4)      Men with shaved heads appear to be taller. By no means am I insecure about my completely average height of 5’9”, but sure, I’ll gladly accept the concept of people thinking I’m an inch and a half taller than I actually am.

5)      It’s less maintenance, both physically and psychologically. Based on the number of hits I effortless earn each day on my YouTube videos about receding hairlines, it’s very obvious that most men A) suffer from thinning hair and B) spend a lot of time thinking and worrying about it. Instead, they could just choose to opt out of that game as I have.

6)      Wearing hats is more practical. When you don’t have any hair to be matted down after wearing a hat, you never have to worry about looking sloppy after removing a hat in public.

7)      It’s officially cool to have a shaved head. Perhaps never before in human history have men who choose to be bald been cooler. It’s sophisticated rebellion. It’s edgy yet classy.

7 Benefits of a Man Shaving His Head as Opposed to Having Hair

I’m not saying I won’t grow my hair back again, because I know I sporadically will.

But really, I’ve yet to see any incentive to. I’ve yet to how having hair benefits my life at all, whatsoever.

Instead, I only see benefits of choosing not to have hair.

But let’s not simply take my word for it…

I hereby invite you to decide for yourself. I just made this video which contains back and forth footage of me: with a buzz cut, then with hair. Vote which you think looks better by leaving a comment on the video.

Let’s settle this once and for all!

Dear Jack: 3 Funny Things You Said While Waiting to Find out You’re Having a Sister

5 years.

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Dear Jack,

We made a family affair out of finding out whether we are having a boy or a girl.

The suspense was getting the best of both you and me as we waited a good 25 minutes’ worth of the nurse showing us all the signs of your sibling being a healthy baby before the mltechnician finally revealed to us that you are having a… sister!

Mommy appeared perfectly calm during the wait… it was you and me that had way too much nervous energy.

During those never-ending 20 minutes of suspense leading up to the big reveal, you said 3 things that were just so hilarious to me…

When the technician asked whether you thought you were going to have a brother or sister, you responded:

“Broster.”

Shortly afterwards, the technician showed us the baby’s spine. You looked up at the monitor screen on the wall and excitingly proclaimed,“Oh, that’s the baby’s teeth!”

From then, until we finally got confirmation that it’s definitely a girl inside Mommy’s tummy, you kept asking, “When can I see the baby’s butt?”

I can tell you’re not really able to process yet that you will be able to see baby Holly in April. It’s too big of a concept for you to process right now.

But you celebrated at Whole Foods, to some degree, where we bought you a new stuffed animal for your collection. First you chose a hedgehog, but then after I had always Instagrammed the event…

Jack got to pick out a new animal to celebrate finding out whether he will have a brother or sister... we announce to the world tomorrow!

Jack got to pick out a new animal to celebrate finding out whether he will have a brother or sister… we announce to the world tomorrow!

You changed your mind and got a pink pig instead…

He changed his mind...

He changed his mind…

By the way, Mommy is perhaps the happiest I’ve ever seen her as long as I’ve known her. In her quiet way, I was able to witness just how much it means to her that Holly is on her way.

As for you, I feel a feeling you’ll come around once your sister after gets here.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You are Definitely a Girl!

19 weeks.

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Dear Holly,

We just learned the news… There is no doubt, you are our daughter. We are having a girl!

Your name is Holly Joy Shell. And you have actually been 7 and a half years in the making…

Back when Mommy and I were planning our wedding in 2008, we were showing my parents (your grandparents) the venue for our reception; the Vanderbilt Legends Club.

The facility was serving brunch while we were there getting the tour of the place. I remember superstar Michael W. Smith and I happened to lock eyes from across the room; as he was sitting down eating. I definitely knew who he was and he apparently thought he was supposed to know me- and I could tell he was in deep thought trying to figure out where he knew me from.

That moment was interrupted when shortly afterwards, your Mommy made a comment about how one day we would have a little girl and name her Holly.

You are that little girl. You are the epic, legendary Holly.

Everyone has been guessing this week whether you were a boy or a girl. The guesses came in at about 50% “Team Holly” and 50% “Team Logan…

However, now that we are telling everyone you are a girl, people seem genuinely amazed that I could have actually been right this whole time. It didn’t help that Mommy thought you were a boy.

Again, my basis of you being a girl is the fact that Mommy has been having different symptoms with you than she did your brother Jack.

But from the very beginning, my heart was always told me that you were a girl; even before Mommy’s symptoms of nausea that she didn’t have with the last pregnancy.

I take it as my fate that God has much more to teach me about life… lessons that I can only learn from raising a little girl named Holly Joy.

Love,

Daddy

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