9 years, 7 months.
Dear Holly,
This past weekend while we were at Christmas with the Alpacas at TMMA Farms in Trion, Georgia, I took your photo with Santa.
I feel like there was a noticeable vibe of skepticism. As we were leaving afterwards, you referred to him as “that Santa”, not as if he were “the Santa”.
Makes me wonder if this is the final year you believe in any Santa at all…
Love,
Daddy
When we began looking for houses in Alabama as we were considering moving from Tennessee, the pattern became apparent quickly:
We were not going to be able find a house in Alabama comparable to what we had in Tennessee within our budget:
About 2,000 square feet; consisting of 4 bedrooms, plus a bonus room.
Instead, it was either downsize to 3 bedrooms and lose the bonus room, or… double our budget and the sqare footage. No in-between.
Since my wife and I have both been working from home full-time since 2020, we had to get creative when we bought our home in Alabama.
She set up shop in a corner of the dining room while I claimed a corner of our bedroom.
This meant for the past year and a half, anytime I needed a coffee break or eat lunch, I would have to hope it lined up with my wife not being on a call.
It worked, but it definitely inspired my wife to say: “We need to have somebody build me my own office… but I want it to be like a sunroom too.”
We got quotes from a few different contractors, but the one who won our vote was “Zack of All Trades“, who is based a few miles from us in the neighboring town of Valley Head.
The finished product has certainly exceeded our expectations. I love how it feels like a constistent extension of our existing 29 year-old home, yet it provides a unique space.
It doesn’t at all feel like a 2nd living room, nor a den, or even a bonus room.
Instead, it’s the perfect hybrid of a true office, a dance/music studio, and a game room… all with an amazing view of the mountains.
And since we had Zack tear out the old deck and replace it with this new room, he built us a smaller, more simpler deck with a staircase leading to it.
We love our new room! It added about 250 square feet to our home, but it has totally reinvented our living space.
9 years, 4 months.
Dear Holly,
I am still not over the fact that Mommy and I are at the point in life where she and I can just go away for a weekend, leaving you and your brother at Nonna and Papa’s… and it’s totally okay with everybody!
And it helps even more that your cousin Darla joined in at your most recent sleepover, ensuring that there would be nonstop 9 year-old activities the whole time!
Of course, much of it revolves around your collection of dolls… as the event becomes “the dolls’ sleepover” perhaps more than your own, as you perceive it.
I love it that we live in the same state as family now!
Love,
Daddy
14 years, 10 months.
Dear Jack,
After last week’s 3rd Saturday Cruise-In was cancelled at the last minute due to rain, you and your sister both still wanted to get out and do something. We had already planned to see our family friends, the McDaniels, there.
Mommy suggested Cracker Barrel instead, so that’s where we all ended up.
Just like a few weeks ago when we had them over at our house for dinner, their young son Walter buddied up to you.
After we ordered our food, you entertained him by playing him at that peg game they always have there on the table. And after dinner, he apparently taught you how to play checkers?
Your composure around him is so laughably nonchalant, yet still I can tell he thinks you’re really cool to hang out with.
Love,
Daddy
It felt like both a personal tragedy as well as the biggest relief, the moment I realized, “Oh… my personal opinion doesn’t really matter all that much outside of my own head. Wait… nobody cares? This is horrible! Wait… nobody cares? Ah… this is great, actually.”
And it wasn’t just me. I now can see that regardless of their current age, so many people live their lives constantly chasing validation of their own identity. It was a sobering revelation for me to realize this about myself- and it explained how I had lived so many years of my life.
Especially in my early and mid 30s, I “needed” people to agree with my opinions: I needed to “be right”. I took on the impossible responsibility of trying to make everyone around me think like I did.
But now at this point in life, I am years into living with the refreshing perspective that so little of the things that people worry about actually matter… as most of those things people worry about are the things we don’t actually have any control over.
A couple months ago I came across a meme that I found particularly helpful. Granted, it was laced in profanity. So here’s my own cleaned up version:
“Stages of the Awakening”
Part of why I am finding it so much easier to be the most loving and joyful version of myself is because I stopped seeking the “validation of being right”. Granted, I still live by strong convictions that guide my own personal decisions and my lifestyle.
But I now know if I were even able to successfully prove I am right and another person is wrong, I would not be rewarded with that person’s respect. Instead, I would be met with their resentment. That is what life has actually taught me.
The self-destructive default had been for me to attempt to gain a sense of control over others by trying to convince them to agree with our my perspective, yet what I was actually seeking was emotional connection with the people in my life.
My personal opinion doesn’t really matter all that much outside of my own head. Being emotionally connected with other people does. Got it.
Family Friendly Daddy Blog 