Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Recaps

Clorox Apologizes For Their Offensive “New Dads” Article

June 28, 2013 at 11:57 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

Have I ever had to apologize for a misunderstood satirical comment I’ve made in social media? Yes.

To publish a 400 word blog post 25 times a month puts me in a potentially vulnerable and dangerous situation. So I am trying to be compassionate with the people responsible for the current Clorox fiasco/social media nightmare.

After all, some people are having the worst week ever (!) right now and I would hate to come across as a bully.

So in order to explain what happened, I’ll start with the beginning… no, actually it would make more sense to start with the most recent part of the story. Here’s what Clorox posted on Facebook today:

“As you may have seen we recently removed a website article, ‘New Dads’, that was a part of a series of humor pieces on modern parenting. It was never our intention to diminish the important role of dads. The dad who wrote the piece for us actually was trying to poke fun at the caricature of ‘the hapless dad.’ To some of you it didn’t come across that way and we apologize. We’ve been talking with many of you throughout the day and appreciate the feedback.”

You may be wondering what the removed article said. Well, even though it was “removed,” I still found it, right here.

I do want to point out some of the article’s most offensive/bizarre lines. The most infamous and most quoted one is found in the introduction:

“Like dogs or other house pets, new Dads are filled with good intentions but lacking the judgment and fine motor skills to execute well.”

The article soon warns that new dads may put clothing on their child backwards and that “hip-hop fashions should wait a couple of years.”

Then there’s the weird line about exposing infants to reality TV shows, referring to the “colorful moving yell-box.”

And comparing an infant’s eating habits to “a spastic Harlem Shake dancer.”

Mmm… and then the reference to The Hangover movie… I guess:

“Casino: Some new dads have been inspired by raunchy comedies to bring babies to inappropriate places like casinos, pool halls, and poetry readings. None of these places are healthy for baby. If Dad needs persuading, just tell him that babies are terrible tippers and can never make bank shots.”

Uh… what?!

(I’m going to pretend I didn’t just see the phrase “poetry readings.”)

This Clorox story is viral right now because so many people see this thing as offensive. Sure, I totally see where they’re coming from. In fact, my friend at 8BitDad, Zach Rosenberg, points at why this “humor piece” is not sitting well with a lot of parents:

“The problem is that these toxic images and jokes at the expense of dads do a couple of things: they continue the ignorant thinking that only mothers can care for babies. These images attempt to widen the divide between moms and dads – where dad is forced to be one of the kids and mom is burdened with all of the housework. These images discourage fathers from being the best that they can be – hey, if Clorox thinks dads shouldn’t touch the baby, maybe we should skip the grueling newborn phase, dump the baby on mom and go hang out with our buddies? Where does that leave us?”

I totally agree!

At the same time, I personally struggle with finding the Clorox article to be offensive; mainly because I’m so distracted at the very bizarre attempt at humor.

Clorox is evidently currently protecting the identify of the freelance writer who wrote it, but I can’t help but get the feeling that the dad doesn’t have much experience blogging in regards to parenting.

I assume it’s common knowledge in the parenting blogging community that it’s beyond taboo to insult either moms or dads, as a group. Sure, you can make fun of yourself, as an individual parent, but not an entire gender; even in satire.

The tone of the Clorox ad is so literally unbelievable and unnatural that I actually wondered if it was an Internet troll that hacked the Clorox website somehow.

In their Facebook apology, Clorox proclaims, “To some of you it didn’t come across that way and we apologize.”

Well, uh… it’s just that usually there’s some kind of hint that something is satire, if it truly is intended to be. However, nothing about the article hints at being satirical… or more importantly, even funny.

I’ve spent the past 24 hours reading related articles (and comments on those articles) and I’ve yet to find one person who thought the article was actually humorous.

Is it offensive? Yes, to many.

Is it funny? No… in fact, it’s so awkward, I’m going to back away now while smiling and nodding my head…

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Self-Imposed Time-Out Instead Of Getting Dressed

June 26, 2013 at 10:19 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

Three months ago, I told about how you willingly put yourself in time-out as punishment for accidentally hitting my leg while I was getting you dressed one morning… then you tried to escape from being in time-out!

Well, Mommy told me how this week you’ve been pulling a similar, yet almost opposite stunt.

You announce to Mommy, “I want to be in trouble.”

Of course, that means you can’t watch any of your shows on Netflix or any monster truck clips on the laptop.

It would be ironic if it weren’t for the fact that it’s your attempt at avoiding getting dressed.

There’s definitely some circular reasoning in this story I’m trying to sort out:

You don’t want to get dressed, so you want to be in trouble to be put in time-out, which then makes it more difficult to get dressed since you’re supposed to sit alone in the corner.

However, you still have to get dressed anyway, but if you don’t listen to Mommy as she’s trying to help you get dressed, there’s a good chance you’ll end up in time-out.

Ultimately, two things are inevitable: Getting dressed and time-out.

Of course, there’s the both reasonable and practical option:

Let Mommy get you dressed without a fight, then she’ll let you watch Netflix or monster trucks on the computer.

I really look forward to the day that getting you dressed is no longer a struggle.

But then, you might not provide me with funny stories of the illogical situations you get yourself into.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Mr. Trololo Vs. My Son’s Own Random Singing

June 25, 2013 at 10:14 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

You do so some pretty random stuff; so much so, that “random” is as good as “normal” these days.

Why did you run around the house for 45 minutes wearing Mommy’s pink Aeropostale hoodie?

I have no idea, but it definitely counted as a fairly safe and enjoyable activity on a Saturday afternoon. So Mommy and I just let you go crazy.

But it doesn’t take you being in “Tasmanian Devil” mode to be random. In fact, some of your finest work takes place in the car, while you’re strapped securely in your seat for an hour at a time.

While you do share my same appreciation for The Wallflowers’ Bringing Down The Horse as one of the finest albums ever recorded, you also enjoy taking the stage and the mic, as well.

I need to point out that virtually all lyrics that you sing/write are to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” in the highest key possible, without going falsetto:

“That blue dinosaur sneezed on the tree… it was the tree that the green dinosaur ate. Hey, there’s worms. The rain washed that spider and the kitty watched…”.

So being that you like to sing random songs you make up as you going along, Mommy and I figured we should share our newest obsession with you, Mr. Trololo:

Needless to say, Mr. Trololo is now the mutual ringtone that Mommy and I have for each other, as well as the song we use for our alarms in the morning.

There’s just something about that whimsical Russian man that makes the world a better place. As for your own reaction to Mommy and I singing Mr. Trololo’s song to you, in somewhat of an effort to playfully annoy you, we love hearing your hilarious response:

“Don’t sing it, you guys!”

It feels good to be the kid every once in a while.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

My 2 And A Half Year-Old Stutters… So What?

June 25, 2013 at 9:21 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

About a month ago or so, you began stuttering regularly.

You suddenly had trouble getting through any sentence that had the word “he” in it:

“He-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he drives a purple truck?”

There for a few weeks, it got pretty bad. So I began Googling “my 2 and a half year-old stutters.”

I read that you should outgrow your stuttering within a few months, but if it persisted for more than 6 months, that at that point it might be a good idea to take you to a specialist.

At the same time, one of my coworkers was telling me that she and her husband had recently took their own stuttering 2 and a half-year old to a specialist; who basically said, “Don’t worry about it. Your child will probably outgrow it.”

Within a few weeks, his stuttering began diminishing.

The funny thing is, now that I think about it, you’re not really stuttering like you were a month ago.

Although the word “he” still trips you up some of the time, as does “why,” I can recognize that your stuttering seems to be more of a nearly forgettable phase.

Actually, that’s why I’m writing about it to you today- to document it so that a year from now I actually remember it happened.

I wonder if it’s a common thing for 2 and a half year-old’s to go through a stuttering phase? The fact I so easily found matching results on Google would lead me to believe so.

So in this case, Google was right. Mommy and I did best not to freak out about it and instead just let it run its course.

Sure, some children surely do have ongoing stuttering issues, which I am not intending to underestimate. (I am not a doctor nor am I giving medical advice of any kind; just sharing a personal experience.)

As for you, though, yours appears to just be a phase that is fading away.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

I Can’t Resist Hearing My Kid Say “I Love You”

June 24, 2013 at 11:26 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

You have discovered the magic words:

“I love you.”

That even includes the times you say it when you’re simply trying to use it to your advantage.

Every night as I’m downstairs doing the dishes, Mommy will let you prop yourself up on the balcony of the staircase and yell to me, “Hey Daddy, I potty! I get an M&M!”

For some reason when you get tired and giddy at the same time, you gain this Austrian accent.

So it’s more like, “Hey Dah-dee, I pah-dee…”

A little bit later, after I’ve sang you three random songs, one of which is usually the theme song to The Lorax movie, I say goodnight and leave the room.

You wait until about 10 seconds after I’ve shut the door.

“Hey Dah-dee, I laaaahv yew!”

Even though it’s spoken in your unnecessary and cartoonish Arnold Schwarzenegger accent, I can’t resist.

I immediately open the door, kiss you, and tell you I love you too.

Knowing your plan to delay bedtime actually worked, you tell me even louder that you love me, even though you’re laughing and just trying to be funny at that point.

It’s funny how even though I clearly know it’s a ploy, I go along with it anyway.

Are you beginning to understand what the word “love” really means? It’s not something I can simply describe to a 2 and a half year-old in words.

Mommy and I can show you everyday, knowing that eventually you’ll connect the word to the action. But as far as the word really making sense to you 100%, I don’t think you’re there yet.

That doesn’t matter to me. Even if you’re simply processing what it means to love me, and what it means that I love you…

Well, that’s close enough for me. I’ll take it.

 

Love,

Daddy