Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

I Approve Of Kanye West’s Name Choice: North West

June 24, 2013 at 10:38 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

A week ago, I spent a lot of time carefully writing about  ABC 20/20′s “D is For Dad And Dumb,” in which they advised dads for Father’s Day, “don’t be an idiot.”

I proposed that 20/20 do a segment about how dads are tired of being  portrayed as classic idiots. I suggested they show that the modern dad is very involved and caring.

They could interview me and let me explain it on national TV how a normal dad feels about the way we were are stereotyped. It could be a segment called “D is For Dad and Dignified.”

[Insert crickets chirping.]

But in hindsight, what I think people really want to read about these days is what Kanye West and Kim Kardashian named their daughter:

North West.

So today, I’m going to be relevant. I’m going to talk about what Kanye West named his daughter.

My response is, “Really? That’s it? That’s the worst he could do for his child’s name?”

Especially from the wondrous and innovative Kanye West, I was expecting something like really out there like Armageddon, or Platinum, or 808s.

Instead, it’s a name that I personally think is kind of cool. At least, it’s a whole lot better than a lot of the names that are popular these days; ones I won’t publicly admit I think are weird.

Of course, if I was going to name a kid North, it would be a boy’s name…

So to name a baby girl North, it seems a bit different; yet again, not that weird compared to other girl names I hear on Facebook.

Granted, the most peculiar part, I guess, about the name North is that the last name is West, which is a very specific direction.

But… I don’t know, compared toAmerican Idol winner Phillip Phillips, it’s hard for me to see how “North West” is much more than quirky, at worst.

I totally don’t care what Kanye West named his daughter, as I shouldn’t. If anything, though, I think I might be slightly disappointed that he didn’t choose something more bizarre.

Ultimately, if Kanye West needs my approval on his child’s name in order to keep his level of self-confidence, then let it be clear:

I approve!

Tune in tomorrow when I talk to you about something that actually matters.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Photo: Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com. (Kanye West in the press room at the 59th Annual Primetime.)

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Dumb Tattoos Are Like Weird Children’s Names

June 19, 2013 at 11:21 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

Here’s my deep thought of the day for you, whatever year you end up reading this: Dumb tattoos are like weird children’s names.

I’ve learned it’s best to just not say anything in an effort to keep myself from slipping out what I really think.

But these days, there really are a lot of dumb tattoos and weird names for kids everywhere I go. Of course, I’m smart enough to not give examples of either.

What is considered to be a “dumb” tattoo or a “weird” name for a child is a matter of opinion… even if the vast majority happens to share the same opinion.

(I… think.)

No matter what ridiculous example I could think of for what I believe is a poor choice for a tattoo, or for a child’s name, surely there would be someone who named their kid that or has a tattoo like I would describe.

I figure, in either case, it’s all in an effort to be unique and express who they are in a way they want the world to perceive them.

Do I personally care about other people’s kids’ names or other people’s tattoos? No, I don’t. It doesn’t affect me.

Does it have the ability to make me flinch just for a second, then text message my sister about it as we try to “one up” each other with our most outrageous findings? No comment.

But the effort to express how I really feel about seeing what I consider to be a dumb tattoo or hearing some weird name that a parent gave their newborn child… it’s just fruitless.

Though I will say this: At least a tattoo only directly affects that person for the rest of their life, unlike the name they give their child.

Even those very parents who name their kids the most bizarre things surely themselves hear other children’s names that they think are ridiculous and then they go through this same mental process as I am doing right now.

So ultimately, in a world of dumb tattoos and weird names that parents give their children, and in a world where mentioning either of those in a Facebook status update can get you in a vulnerable situation, it’s better to think it, but not say it.

Except for you. In private, I’ll totally tell you how I feel. Just don’t tell the kids at school I said it.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Photo: Self Introduction, via Shutterstock.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, People

That Glazed-Over Stare Means You’re Learning

June 18, 2013 at 10:18 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

Here’s a picture of you at the Nashville Zoo last Friday night during an animal show where you saw and learned about the Clouded Leopard.

You were lucky- Mommy and I let you stay up an hour past your bed time that night!

It was quite the spectacle for a 2 and a half year-old boy to witness, though that might not have been obvious to anyone sitting near us.

Seriously, check out the look on your face.

To me, you appear in this photo to be extremely bored or at least slightly sedated, as you munch on your goldfish crackers.

However, this is simply how you look when you are learning.

You have taught me that when you have that glazed-over look on your face and remain silent, you couldn’t be any more in tune with what’s going on. That’s simply you taking it all in.

About six months ago, I took you by the reptile aquarium/pet store near our house. You were expressionless the whole time.

Yet even now, when we drive by that place, you ask to go back to see the lizards and snakes.

Though you never look excited when I let you watch your favorite shows on Netflix, like All About Monster Trucks with Hard Hat Harry, you never smile… just that glazed-over stare.

Then, an hour later, you’ll be playing on the floor, imitating the monster truck mayhem you absorbed earlier.

So I’m no longer fooled into thinking you’re not learning or at least being entertained. I know you’re totally paying attention and anything I do or say during that time may and will be used against me.

Sure, you’ll smile and laugh while you play; when you’re the one creating. But you respect the process of being presented with education (and entertainment) so much, you take it extremely seriously.

Some might even say too seriously.

I just say you’re intense.

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Why My Son Doesn’t Get Hurt In Front Of Me

June 17, 2013 at 10:27 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

This morning I accidentally bumped your head as I was getting you out of my car.

Not just a slight graze, but it was the kind of hit that would cause the world “BAM!” or “THUD!” to appear in the air, like on the 1960′s Batman TV series.

Your response?

About 3 seconds later, you nonchalantly scratched your head, as if you might have felt a piece of fuzz in your hair or something.

But it was like you were confused, more than anything.

Under normal circumstances, youwould have been crying pretty hard and it would have been a big dramatic ordeal.

But I guess when I use the phrase “under normal circumstances,” I’m referring to Mommy being present.

Like magic, you basically feel no pain or discomfort when it’s just you and me.

I don’t believe that’s because you’re trying to impress me by showing me how tough you are. After all, I need no convincing of that. I am very aware of how thick your Croatian skull is.

Instead, I believe it’s because you instinctively aren’t seeking my physical comfort. Quite the opposite, you testme physically. You love to wrestle me; even if during the process you pretend to hate it.

Of course the obvious flip side to this is how different you act “under normal circumstances.” With Mommy in the room, you can barely stub your toe on the carpet, then yell, “Owie!” On cue, Mommy is authentically concerned.

With me, you don’t even bother.

But more importantly, like I said, your brain evidently doesn’t even process pain or discomfort when it’s just you and me. You’re so much lower maintenance during “Daddy only” time. Ya know that?

It’s interesting how quickly you can turn on and off the “Mommy switch.”

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

My Classy (And Gassy) Father’s Day Gift

June 16, 2013 at 10:07 pm , by 

2 years, 7 months.

Dear Jack,

With today being a special day, Father’s Day to be exact, Mommy decided to make our family some of her magical vegan cupcakes.

You got lucky. She let you lick the cake batter from the mixing bowl.

To keep the chocolate “mud” from getting all over your clothes, Mommy and I decided it was best that we strip you down to just your diaper.

Immediately afterwards, Mommy went upstairs to fold the laundry.

That meant it was just you and me.

That’s when things got weird…

You placed the mixing bowl in the middle of the kitchen floor, then begin circling it while holding your spoon to your forehead. (Technically dangerous, though things often are when you’re on my watch.)

It didn’t help that you were by that point “toddler drunk” from the mix of the sugar and the missed nap.

I had a feeling I needed to capture this on video. I couldn’t have known what was about to happen during those 38 seconds I recorded you.

So, actually, here ya go…

Watch the clip of what happened:

That’s right. In the middle of your ancient tribal dance, you gave me the gift that keeps on giving… as you put it, “It was a gas!”

Thank you for my coffee cup. Thank you for my new swim trucks and t-shirt. Thank you for the cool dinosaur Father’s Day card you picked out especially for me.

And while I’m at it, I guess I might as well thank you for the… hilarious memory, too!

 

Love,

Daddy