Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

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To Bring Another Child Into This Uncertain World

March 6, 2014.

3 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

I promise you that the next letter I’ll write will be undeniably positive and light-hearted.

But for now, I’m working through something in my head and I feel that I can’t really move forward until I write it down for you to read one day.

This is the kind of letter I don’t intend for you to read until you’re old enough to read/and or watch The Hunger Games; which contains the mood and similar content as this letter.

The irony here is that I just tucked you in for the night a few hours ago, as we said our bedtime prayers; an unspoken way of saying, “Don’t worry, I will help protect you.”

It’s my job to give you assurance of safety and to be your mighty guardian. There is no doubt I will

protect you with my life as it is up to me. Yet I myself am caught in a current emotional state of… insecurity, for lack of a better word.

For the past week, I have been studying the “alternative version” of the 911 attacks as presented in the documentary Loose Change, on both Netflix and YouTube.

It pointed out some things I had never considered before: I admit there is no clear footage of the plane hitting the Pentagon, nor pictures of it happening either. I can’t explain that. I’ve actually lost sleep over this and several other aspects of the September 11th attacks, as presented in Loose Change.

However, I believe in hearing both sides of the story. So I’ve also recently been w

atching the clever rebuttles of Myles Powers as well, on YouTube, which help me feel more confident that the claims of Loose Change are not as easily factual as they appear.

I don’t know for certain what to think right now, but I will keep studying both sides of the story. I want the truth in such an uncertain world; where the Twin Towers were hit by planes back in 2001, and just a couple of days ago, a plane from Malaysia apparently just disappeared in flight.

So I admit, my head is a bit messy right now; and to be honest, I probably shouldn’t be writing to you tonight. Maybe I should have just taken the night off because I’ll probably later regret my vulnerability here.

As Mommy and I continue to peripherally have to the ongoing conversation of “should we have another kid?”, this general concept keeps coming up as one of the reasons to possibly let you remain an only child:

There is so much evil and uncertainty in this world, so why bring another human life into that sort of existence?

Maybe it’s an irrational thought, but I think that question itself shows not so much my insecurity as a parent, as it does my deep, ongoing need to feel like I must protect you at all times, which I know I can’t.

However, you’re my son. I feel like I’m supposed to have all the answers. Or at least be able to keep you from all harm and danger.

I want you to believe I’m Superman.

But really I know I’m just Clark Kent.

 

Love,

Daddy

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I Haven’t Said Anything Controversial In A While…

March 6, 2014 at 9:33 pm , by 

3 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Last week at work, I had a conversation with a co-worker named Matt, who has two small kids.

I was telling him how, the longer I’m a parent, the mellower of a person I am becoming. In other words, stuff is just bothering me less compared to the way it used to.

To my surprise, he agreed- he can also personally relate. We acknowledged that whether it’s gaining more patience, or a greater ability to not allow annoying things to bother us, the journey of being parents has broken us in, for the better.

Over three years ago, when I become a parent, I was a much more out-spoken, polarizing person; especially in regards to the world of social media… especially in relation to politics and religion.

Well, that has definitely gradually changed over the past couple of years.

For example, I no longer care to publically share my political affiliation (or disassociation). I feel that public political conversations divide people; causing them to believe that by putting blind faith into a certain political party, that there’s hope that “the other side” will be converted into an opposing belief system; therefore “getting America back on track.”

I’m so over that. I can’t change people’s political beliefs. Plus, I don’t want to be labeled (and limited) to just one side.

All I can do is hope to change the world through my behavior, which (hopefully) proves the validity of my beliefs in the first place.

Having learned that, I’ve realized that same concept applies to parenting issues which I had previously debated with other parents about.

Like the “cry it out” method, attachment parenting, and circumcision…

I used to be so quick to allow myself to get involved in public online debates over those issues. These days, I strive to not take, or present, the bait.

And really, I haven’t said anything controversial in a while…

Granted, I’m still constantly thinking out of the box, and open-minded to concepts that many people might question.

But now, I’m handling these situations differently than I would have six months or even a year ago:

Has anyone else seen the documentary “911: In Plane Site” on Netflix (will be removed on March 15) or on YouTube in its entirety? If so, will you send me a private message including your thoughts on it? I am asking for a private message response (not a comment) because I am attempting to avoid starting a comments war on my wall, in which I appear as a divisive host or commentator, or am labelled as a conspiracy theorist. I am not seeking controversy; only private answers to help sort out some confusion I’m having. Thanks.

I still like to engage people, and learn from others, but not at the risk of being polarizing. So I’m more discreet and more private about my questions and concerns regarding the world and the people who live in it.

It’s my opinion that the chaotic process of parenthood has forced me to focus on what really matters.

I have gotten to the point where I don’t feel the need to have to explain myself to other people if they find out my point of view and disagree with it. What’s the point in defending your beliefs to someone who is not open-minded to hearing them anyway?

Instead of controversy, I’m seeking the collaboration of ideas with other people.

I seek truth, not simply believing I’m right.

Being a parent has peripherally taught me to focus more on how I can become a better person withthe help of other people; not how I can try to make other people better against their will or conviction.

It’s trained me to not let things bother me like they used to. I don’t know if this necessarily makes sense to other parents, but it’s definitely how I feel.

Parenthood is a humbling process.

 

Love,

Daddy

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How To Take Good Pictures Of Your Kid

March 6, 2014 at 8:08 pm , by 

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Mommy, I Don’t Taste Chocolate In My Ravioli…

March 4, 2014 at 8:37 pm , by 

3 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Yesterday Mommy prepared some vegan ravioli for you for dinner.

It was a bit of an experiment, since you usually get cheese in your ravioli. But this time, it was vegetables and garlic instead- no cheese.

Mommy and I were both curious to see how you would react to veggie version…

You have this habit, like most 3 year-olds, I assume, of trying to negotiate how little “real food” you have to eat, so that you can end your meal with some kind of treat.

As Mommy placed the ravioli on your plate, she jokingly mentioned that there was chocolate inside the ravioli.

It was amazing how we didn’t have to keep prompting to eat your dinner. For 20 minutes, you ate your ravioli with no complaints.

Then finally, you politely observed, “Mommy, I don’t taste chocolate in my ravioli…”.

Mommy and I immediately burst out in laughter. We realized at that moment, you didn’t understand Mommy was joking when she mentioned that there was chocolate in them…

You were so eager to eat chocolate for dinner, that you kept eating the veggie raviolis in hopes that you would discover some hidden chunks of chocolate to make it worth your while.

Even funnier is that you would willingly eat vegetables mixed with chocolate, if it meant you got to eat chocolate. As for me, at least, I would want them separate.

Not you. For you, chocolate is chocolate.

While the story doesn’t end with you getting chocolate chunks in your ravioli, it does end with you getting chocolate almond milk, as well as, some vegan gummy bears.

You were happy and so were your parents.

Plus, Mommy and I were happy because we got you to eat veggie-stuffed ravioli without any complaints.

If only this plan were repeatable…

 

Love,

Daddy

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Did Bob Costas Give My Son Pink Eye?

March 3, 2014 at 11:29 am , by 

3 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

As I’ve recently mentioned to some of my guy friends about you having pink eye, the immediate response I’ve received from them is, “Where’d he get pink eye from?Bob Costas?”

The reference here is that Bob Costas, who served as an NBC Olympics sportscaster just recently, was infected with pink eye in both eyes.

Just like you.

I don’t mean to downplay the fact you’ve been out of school since Friday with pink eye. This is actually really sad for me to watch.

On Friday, I had to stop myself from texting you to tell you I miss you- because I realized you’re only 3 years old and don’t have a cell phone.

Even today, as our whole family is snowed in, you’re still recovering from pink eye.

It’s so tough to see your blue eyes muddled over with a reddish-yellowish hue. Granted, you look worse than you feel.

I know this because I’ve been wrestling with you just as hard as I always do this whole time.

Pink eye is something I know nothing about- I never had it when I was a kid, nor did your Auntie Dana (my sister.)

Everything I know about pink eye, I’ve learned from you since Friday.

Mommy has been giving you your eye drops, and we’re all washing our hands constantly.

I sort of have to assume that by the time this is all over with, it ends with me having pink eye in both eyes too.

But hey, what can I really do?

We are just carrying on life as normal. Mommy made vegan French toast. Meanwhile, I let you make “applesauce” from the leftover fruit pulp after I juiced some oranges and apples.

Today, it’s pink eye. Eventually you’ll get chickenpox.

Sure, being a kid is fun, but I do tend to figure out the not-so-much-fun parts too; like pink eye in both eyes.

 

Love,

Daddy