Dear Jack: You Helped Make Balloon Animals

13 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

This past weekend taught me that you are now the age where you are considered one of the “teenagers in charge” of running the show for the little kids.

You and your sister participated in an early Fall Festival. While your sister definitely enjoyed doing all the kid stuff, you were asked to help run the station that made balloon animals for all the kids who showed up to your booth.

This meant you had to learn how to make balloon animals, which you did by watching YouTube videos.

You quickly realized though that the sword was not only one of the easier items to make, but it tended to be one of the most popular among the kids who stood in line for your craftsmanship and artwork.

Therefore, you became “the teenage boy who makes the swords”.

I just love to see you adopt these “big kid” roles for teenagers; to take care of the younger kids.

It makes me proud to see you do that.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You Can Still Appreciate the Kids’ Stuff

8 years, 5 months.

Dear Holly,

Mommy and I are 43 years old. We are full grown adults.

Your brother is a teenager, at age 13.

But you…

You are still a child. And I love that fact so much.

I don’t take it for granted that everyday, I get to spend time with an 8 year-old little girl who still sees the world through the lens of a child.

This past weekend, I got to watch you enjoy an early Fall Festival; which included you dressing up, visiting all the cars participating in Trunk or Treat, playing carnival style games, and getting your face painted.

You just can’t know right now how much that means to me.

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: The Travis Scott Shoe Project

13 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

For the past couple of weeks, you had been researching and informing Mommy of “the new limited edition Travis Scott x Air Jordan 1 in reverse olive shoes that are going to be dropping on Saturday, September 28th…”

You explained that there were certain websites where you could “enter the draw” for a chance to be selected to buy a pair of the shoes for the “starting investment price” of $150.

The inspiration in buying these very limited shoes was that your goal was to resell them as an investment; since you already had the intel that they would instantly rise in value. You easily convinced Mommy to try to buy a pair of her own to “invest in” as well. She even rescheduled her hair appointment to accommodate her availability for the event.

So you both woke up early last Saturday morning to be ready for the draw and double your chances of winning a shot to buy the shoes.

Unfortunately… neither of you were selected in the draw to purchase these $150 shoes (which, as you predicted, quickly increased in value to $455).

The next day, I happened to be walking by Mommy who was about to hit “pay now” for a different pair of $150 Nike shoes that you really liked “just to wear, not to invest in”.

With you standing right there next to her, I casually said out loud, “So Jack just gets these new shoes he wants… because?”

She responded, “I think? Maybe?”

I sealed the deal, explaining to you:

“If you weren’t a such a good kid, it would be different. But you are! Your grades are high. You’ve learned to make new friends at your new school and even took on the challenge of joining the football team… and you are wanting to go to church; we’re not dragging you there. So I say, you get the shoes. Because we are proud of you for the decisions you are making and we trust and support you through this often confusing time in your life.”

While that may or may not have been the right expert-approved thing to say in that moment, it’s how I feel in my heart.

I recognize you are a good kid who is learning to make your own choices when your parents aren’t around. That’s a big deal and it’s important.

That means you get the cool Nike shoes you want for your 8th grade year: The Nike Skateboarding Dunk Low Alexis Sablone Chameleon shoes that change colors from green to purple as you wear them in.

While it was certainly the most money we have ever paid for a pair of shoes for you, I thought back to my own 8th grade year which was 30 years ago. Nonna drove an hour to a different town to buy me the Nike Air Raid 2 shoes that I wanted so badly. And that she bought them for me, not for my birthday or for Christmas, but for “being a good kid”.

Adjusted for inflation, I know she spent at least as much on me for those shoes. So I guess it’s a bit of a tradition in our family.

Your childhood consisted of years of collecting stuffed animals, Hot Wheels, and Lego sets.

Now that you’re a teenager, it looks like it’s going to be unique shoes, an iPhone, and a PlayStation 5 with Call of Duty on your “must have” list.

Slightly more expensive than the toys you cared about a decade ago, but that’s okay.

Because I see you as an investment. I want to raise a well-balanced, innovative, confident son who will grow up to do amazing things on his own.

And I think that means making sure you have cool shoes in 8th grade.

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: You Can Turn Anything into a Fashion Show

8 years, 5 months.

Dear Holly,

I am always clueless as to what the Amazon delivery person is bringing to our door. I just know that whatever it is, it’s not something I ordered for myself.

It’s all a blur, but at some point this week, I saw you parading through the house as if you were in a fashion show; despite no official spectators there to serve as your audience.

So I decided to help you out.

From what I could tell, you had received a new water bottle with a matching inflatable flamingo koozie, cute new boots, and a Squishmallows backpack.

I truly enjoy learning what I bought you through our newest Amazon order… that I had no idea was placed.

 

Love,

Daddy

How We Paid Off Our Mortgage at Age 43

I will never forget this day in history: November 6th, 2024.

That’s the day my wife and I paid off our mortgage.

What you are about to read is the classic story of the underdog. We as a human civilization are naturally fascinated to see individuals overcome the odds placed against them and actually reach a seemingly impossible goal.

This is the story of how at age 43 (we were both born in 1981), my wife and I have now reached our goal of being not only debt-free, but also mortgage-free; despite the odds and despite remaining in the middle class.

To be clear, this is not a sexy story. We did not win the lottery. We did not inherit a million dollars. We did not invest in Bitcoin.

How we did it is the boring equivalent of someone you know losing 50 pounds and when they are asked how they lost the weight, they respond by saying they started exercising everyday, they reduced their daily calories, and increased their protein and fiber intake.

It’s not exciting to learn that people reached a challenging goal through hard work, dedication, and sacrifice… especially when it took years to get there.

Similarly, our underdog story is equally boring…

During my final year of college, my sister (who is 3 years younger than me) and I shared an apartment. The way our schedules lined up, when one of us was away at campus either in class or working, the other one would squeeze in an hour or two of playing Animal Crossings on the Nintendo GameCube back at our apartment.

In case you’re not familiar, the ultimate point of Animal Crossings is to work as efficiently as possible so that you pay off your mortgage.

(For the record, my sister ended up paying off hers before I did.)

As silly as it is, playing that video game for the course of my senior year of college fundamentally inspired me for my actual “real life” ahead. I was determined: I will be part of the rare minority of Americans to pay off my mortgage “early”; well before it was time to retire. (The average age to pay it off is 62.)

Despite the modern marketing attempts of banks and credit unions to convince me otherwise, the truth was obvious to me: “No. You are not like family and you are not my friend.”

But from the beginning, my strategy was not entangled with the idea of “getting rich first”. Instead, my plan would be to exploit the concept of maintaining a low overhead while finding ways to multiply my sources of income.

Fundamentally, the speedrunning aspect of paying off our mortgage early would focus on paying extra each month on the mortgage payments, so that it would pay off the principal of the loan quicker; preventing us from paying more in interest over the years.

Fortunately, I was naturally attracted to a woman who had the same intrinsic desire. As a team, we have worked together for many years to reach our goal; from the moment we got married. Because apparently, nothing is more romantic than mutually aspiring to be debt-free and mortgage free as a couple?

To be clear, our path to reach this goal was never easy. (Neither of us “came from money”.)  Instead, much of our 16 years of marriage has been riddled with financial setback after financial setback.

I remember years ago, seeing a meme that gave an honest visual of what the path to success actually looks like. It helped prepare my expectations.

We had to face the typical obstacles of the American middle class who happened to be Millennials: Paying off thousands in student debt, pay off thousands in wedding debt, buying our first home during the Financial Crisis of 2008 (which happened to be the year we got married), not making much money for the first decade of our professional careers, having children and having to pay for childcare while we both worked, etc.
The lowest, most difficult point in my life occurred in 2010, when my wife and I chose to leave behind our steady jobs and stable lives in Tennessee, to move to Alabama after we had our first child. Our hearts were in the right place, but we ended up living off our savings as we tried to find steady work while raising a newborn. We lasted 9 months before running out of money and having to move back to Tennessee; asking for our old jobs back.
And of course, our car broke down halfway through the drive back; which resulted in us having to buy a different car.
You can imagine: I wasn’t able to walk away from that point in my life without being forever hard-wired to never end up in a situation like that again. It “broke” me. (Pun intended.) The years that followed were just as tough, as we rebuilt everything back from nothing.
But I imagine I needed that humiliating and sobering time in my life in order to land here in this situation now, to be able to pay off my mortgage at 43.
This year, Dave Ramsey conducted a study of the top professions of people who become millionaires, known as The National Study of Millionaires. To confirm, we are not millionaires. But I do see an overlap with our careers:
We both technically fall into the categories of “teacher” and “management”: My wife has a Master’s in Early Childhood Development (though she never actually had a career in education) and I have a Bachelor’s Degree in English (I had originally planned to be a teacher as a profession). As for our actual careers, my wife is Chief of Staff (management) at a health care company and I am an Account Manager (HR/Recruiting) for a transportation company.
I think it is interesting that she and I both desired in our hearts to be teachers, getting our education in those fields, but we then ultimately landed in management roles.
Dave Ramsey’s National Study of Millionaires found the the most common theme among engineers, accountants, teachers, managers, and attorneys is that they all are required to operate as part of a system; living by a strict set of principles. So I can see how the path to becoming a millionaire is similar to first paying off your debts and mortgage.
Similarly, it is clear that Malcom Gladwell’s 6 Unexpected Outliers to Success play into this as well:
  • Opportunity.
  • Timing.
  • Upbringing.
  • Effort.
  • Meaningful work.
  • Legacy.

One that stands out to me from this list is Upbringing. One set of my grandparents were 1st generation Americans; meaning their own parents immigrated here from other countries. Specifically, I grew up up curiously observing my Papaw Metallo, who ultimately grew up in an orphanage in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

I watched him work an average job, live in a decent-sized home on a few acres, never buy a new vehicle, and he always had money in the bank.

Undoubtedly, his habits were adopted by my parents, and passed on to my sister and me. (Not only did my younger sister pay off her mortgage in Animal Crossings before I did, but she also did in real life a year and a half ago.)

I also see how Opportunity and Timing played into our ability to pay off our mortgage at age 43. Had the Covid Crisis of 2020 not happened, my wife and I would not have been able to start working remotely, allowing us to “cash in” by selling our Tennessee home (which doubled in value over the 9 years we lived there) and then move to Alabama again where the cost of living is much lower.

So I suppose I shall quote the 2004 rom com starring Brittany Murphy, Little Black Book: “Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and the peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all.”

Undeniably, my wife and I have been (imperfectly) following the teachings of Dave Ramsey since 2008 when we got married; which eventually led to us becoming debt-free (other than our mortgage) five years later in 2013.

That means it took us 11 years to pay off our mortgage after becoming debt-free. It was around that time that I consumed the book, Rich Dad Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki. From there, I became obsessed with creating “passive incomes” on the side; what most people know as “side hustles”.

I started two different YouTube channels, creating content exploiting topics that people were already searching for (men’s hair loss and DNA test results) as opposed to what I actually wanted to talk about.

I began using my blog (Family Friendly Daddy Blog) as a SEO platform to implant Amazon links; which generate commission for me when readers click on them.

My work as a blogger led to me becoming the official daddy blogger of Parents Magazine. During those 4 years, I was sent new vehicles to “review” each week, which included a full tank of gas. (This was officially ironic because we have never actually owned a new vehicle.)

I used my accidental knowledge of SEO to become an independent contractor for other businesses, in addition to my full-time job.

All of these side hustles generated hundreds of dollars each month; which ultimately went towards paying the principle of our mortgage. Admittedly, I still generate passive income from my YouTube channels and Amazon links, though it is much less than it was back in the years I needed it so badly.

So yes, certainly Effort has been important; going back to Malcom Gladwell’s 6 Unexpected Outliers to Success.

Something possibly surprising about this journey, from the very beginning, we have been committed to tithing and charitable giving: Even during our lowest financial point.

This is consistently taught throughout the Bible, as well as being continually endorsed by Dave Ramsey and Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

As for the future, we shall continue our lifestyle of keeping a low overhead. The income that used to go to our mortgage will now being going towards investments and savings.

I also recognize that when you overcome a major obstacle, it requires you to recalibrate your process; as a new obstacle will present itself to replace the last one.

Without the constant burden of “must pay off mortgage” hanging over my life, what will I do with that space in my brain?

I refuse to see “work” as a negative thing that I am suppose to graduate from. I find ways to make the challenge of work exciting and rewarding. Work means that I continue to create and contribute; whether or not it means I am an employee of a company.

The thought of retirement is not exciting to me. I’m convinced that I’m that guy who if I stopped “working”, I would die a few months later.

Keep working. Keep creating. Keep living.