Dear Jack: Showing Enneagram 4 Vibes by Staring Out the Window

14 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

Last Sunday afternoon as it was raining, I was in my room working on writing some new songs. When I finally took a break, I happened to walk out into the living room and catch a glimpse of you and Mommy in a genuine, authentic moment:

The two of you were sitting next to each other, not saying a word, staring out the window.

Fortunately, I was able to sneak a photo of that exact uninterrupted scene. The meme of Kermit the Frog comes to mind.

I then broke the silence by laughing at loud.

It served as a funny reminder to me that I am the only person in our household who doesn’t have an Enneagram 4 associated with my personality.

You are an Enneagram 5 with a dominant 4 wing, while Mommy is an Enneagram 3 with a dominant 4 wing. And as for your sister, she is an Enneagram 2 who morphs into an Enneagram 4 when she is happy.

Enneagram 4s are known for being the most aware of their emotions. In other words, they are the type most likely to get caught up in staring out the window on a rainy day.

So by default, that means that I win the award for “Least Emotional” in our house. And I’m pretty sure that is no surprise to anyone.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: A Box Can Still Be a Fun Toy for You

8 years, 8 months.

Dear Holly,

I hadn’t thought about it, but I would have assumed that as a parent, I was past the point of having a child who would still instinctively turn a box into a toy.

But this past week, Mommy ordered a new chair; as she came up with the idea of creating a reading corner for our living room.

You immediately pushed the box from the chair over to the opposite corner; then you grabbed a marker and began designing features to make it your very own home.

This even included a spare key you hid under the door mat.

It makes me happy to know I still have a kid who is young enough to appreciate a box.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Now Using My Phone, Instead of My Camera, to Take Pictures of You

8 years, 8 months.

Dear Holly,

Finally, in this new year of 2025, I am going to (attempt to) stop using my actual camera to take photos, and instead, start using my new cell phone I got for Christmas.

What finally convinced me was when Aunt Dana would take photos of you and your brother with her phone on “portrait mode”. It was clear to me that her phone was taking better pictures than my digital camera.

So, no more of me toting around a camera the size of a brick.

This is still going to take some getting used to, though. Taking photos on my phone that are better than an actual camera? How strange!

Love,

Daddy

 

Dear Jack: Our Christmas Eve Hike at Crockford-Pigeon Wildlife Management Area in Lafayette, GA

14 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

You are the member of our family who is most focused on keeping traditions. Leading into the holiday season, I assured you that despite now living in a different state, traditions will still be an important part of our family. It’s just now that will have to replace some of our traditions by creating new ones.

On Christmas Eve, you decided to join me, Papa, and Uncle Andrew on a Jeep drive I headed up. I found a place less than an hour from us, in Lafayette, Georgia: Crockford-Pigeon Wildlife Management Area.

Your favorite part was when we checked out one of the stops of the tour: Walker Rocks, a rock village high up on a mountain; far removed from civilization.

As much as you loved exploring all the rocks, some which were nearly as tall as trees, I had to make sure I got us back home in time before it got dark outside; even though you could have easily spent the whole day there.

If this becomes a new Christmas Eve tradition, you can check out more of the rocks a year from now.

Love,

Daddy

ENFJ, Self-Preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8: I Am Officially a Fun Guy!

Fact: I am officially a fun guy. Specifically, I am a friendly, sociable extrovert. It took the events of 2024 in order for me to understand this.

It becomes common at the end of a year for people to say, “I can’t wait to see what exciting new things next year has in store!”

Well, here I am at the end of a year and I can very clearly express what 2024 had in store for me. This would be the year that I finally mapped out the rules of what defines the word “fun” for me, and therefore, what actually allows me to experience the concept of happiness.

Moving from the heavily (over)populated Nashville area of over a million people halfway through this year, to the less than 15,000 population Appalachian mountain town in Alabama we have now lived the second half of the year in, I have a clear understanding of why I am happy and loving life again.

Because my definition of fun explicitly involves the following:

A) Not being in traffic or in big, chaotic crowds.

B) Not having to pay to park or to pay an admission to get in.

C) Not having to wait in a long line.

D) Not having to “run around” or “be busy”.

E) Being able to spend quality time with people.

It’s funny how quickly my perspective of life changed after we moved to Alabama and we got all of the house renovations completed:

I could finally chill out. Because where I live in Alabama, my rules for having fun and being happy easily apply. Whereas in Nashville, they rarely did.

It is true I am indeed a fun and extroverted person, but I naturally become the opposite (stoic and introverted) when I have to be in traffic or chaotic crowds, when I have to pay to park or pay an admission to get in, when I have to wait in a long line, when I feel like I am having to run around or be busy, or when I am not able to spend quality time with people.

Our family’s most successful vacation ever, this past summer to Oregon, helped reinforce that my “rules for fun” not only ensured that I was operating in my default extroverted personality, but it also meant my family had more fun as individuals and collectively too.

As a ENFJ, self-preservation Enneagram 9 Wing 8, I instinctively seek experiences where I can be challenged in some way, while still feeling comfortable in the process. That is one of my gifts I offer to those around me: To create and maintain an environment where everyone feels comfortable, challenged, and valued.

In a good way, I feel this pressure to ensure that we are all collectively having a good time.

I think back to the motto my wife and I curated this year:

“Give life meaning and creative beautiful experiences.”

Moving here to Alabama and living a “quiet life” has now made it remarkably easier for me to be my true extroverted self; who is creative, fun, and happy to be around.

That is the world I live in now.

So yeah, I’m a big fan of 2024.