Currently Uber Popular Status Update Phrases: “Darn You (Insert Here a High Calorie Food Item or Form of Exercise)” and “Just Sayin’…”

Darn you push-ups and curls!  And chili cheese fries…

We are exposed to an ongoing conveyor belt of snippets from our facebook friends’ lives, thanks to status updates.  From sadly and helplessly watching a person’s romantic relationship fall apart through relationship status changes and removals of entire photo albums, to discovering a another new spin-off of Farmville that we now will have to start blocking, the culture of facebook has been integrated into our everyday lives.  When it comes to status updates, I am more of an conscientious observer than an active participant.  So that evidently makes it my job to be the one to point out two phrases I’m seeing multiple times on a daily basis:

1) “Darn you (insert here a high calorie food item or form of exercise)”

2) “Just sayin’…”

Though you probably already know the connotation of both of these phrases (and that’s a big reason you chose to read this post today), I will offer the courtesy of explaining the usage of these facebook status gems.

Your facebook friends who are most likely to use the “darn you” status update are often the ones who give you a daily play-by-play of their work-out routine as well as an itemized list of the foods they eat each day.  When a “darn you” person has just experienced an annoying exercise at the gym, they might say, “Darn you, elliptical machine!” for example. And then a few hours later when they go out to dinner with friends and someone shares their Triple Chocolate Cheesecake with them, then you better know what’s coming up on your facebook feed: “Darn you, Triple Chocolate Cheesecake!”

However, in a more practical world, it seems people should say “bless you” before naming a high calorie food.  Who knows?  Maybe it would actually miraculously not metabolize into fat?  Maybe people should say “bless you” before naming an exercise, for the chance it would do twice or thrice as much good as it normally would to their body.  To curse an inanimate object that already knows it has a negative connotation seems to only add insult to injury. But then again, we don’t live in a practical world:  Instead, we live in a world where the inventors of Snuggies are millionaires.

While it’s typically exercise and high calorie that gets darned (literally cursed to hell for eternal damnation, in the hope that’s possible), I’ve also seen the “darn you” status update applied to weather (mainly snow), local traffic, and episodes of Glee that feature especially catchy songs.

As for “just sayin'”, it’s always applied at the end of a sentence- often after about 2 or 3 sentences of advice to another person or inanimate object: “So I just got back from the grocery store and everybody’s freakin’ out over bread and milk. It’s not the end of the world, people!  It’s just snow!  Just sayin’…”

“Just sayin'” implies the thought “now really take some time to think about what I said, but no pressure, really.”

Here’s another example:

“Some people really spend way too much time on facebook. There is a such a thing as leaving your own house and hanging out with actual people. Just sayin…”

If a person is really talented, they may try to attempt to use both phrases in the same status update: “Darn you, mother who is pretending not to speak English as her three kids run wild around the store!  Ever heard of actually having some control over your own kids in public?  Just sayin…”

If from now on, you never see “darn you…” and “just sayin’…” on facebook without thinking back to what you read here today, then I’ve done my job as a conscientious observer who shares my findings with the general public.  If nothing else, from now on, see if you can make it a whole day on facebook without seeing either of those phrases at all.  I bet you can’t.  Just sayin’…

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