April 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm , by Nick Shell
Have you ever tried to text your toddler? If nothing else, I would like a phone app to translate all the speaking in tongues he does.
Yesterday during my lunch break at work I was taking a walk outside and thought to myself, “I should text Jack and see how his day is going.” I reached for my phone in my pocket and as I was pulling it out, it hit me: For more than one reason, I can’t text message my son.
I would start with the most obvious reason, but there is a serious problem there with that. Because which one is the most obvious?
Would it be the fact that my 16 month-old son doesn’t have have a working cell phone? Or that he doesn’t know how to use one?
Maybe it’s that he doesn’t know how to spell too well?
Nah, I think the fact that he and I can’t actually carry on a real conversation that doesn’t involve an animal sound, may be the winner.
I’m curious to know if having to remind myself that I can’t text message my toddler is a pretty universal thing.
When I mentioned this story to my wife yesterday, she quickly admitted she has done the exact same thing; perhaps more than once.
Subconsciously, I must be resisting this concept that even though Jack and I can’t talk to each other yet, it’s like that new TV show Touch, where a mute boy communicates with this father by using numbers: That the exception to a normal conversation in our case is texting.
Honestly, it sounds like a good idea to me.
I mean, I carry around this little man with me (and that’s often how I perceive him, not in that cute “that’s my little man” sort of way that’s popular to refer to your son, but literally an actual man who happens to speak like Chewbacca or Curious George) in my car for a round trip daily total of about 80 minutes a day and constantly entertain him all weekend.
In my own real life version of Bosom Buddies, I wish there was at least this cool/comical sci-fi twist where I could text message my son:
“Hey son hows ur day goin?”
“Good so far_ outside playn wit my bud Henry.”
“C any birds?”
“Yeah like 5 rite now on the fence_ They fly away evry time I run near them.”
“R they Angry Birds?”
“LOL. I think it just peed in my diaper. Not sure if its bc of ur joke or not. Gotta go. Peace out Ghost Dad.”
“Later Sonny Sonnerton.”