prejudice

2 Comments Posted on parenting, Storytelling, Uncategorized

My 5 Year-Old Son Still Doesn’t Know about Race

My 5 Year-Old Son Still Doesn’t Know about Race

Since he was 7 months old, my son Jack has been in daycare/preschool. He’s currently finishing out Pre-K this year; starting Kindergarten in the fall.

This entire time, he has been around kids of all other races. This is Nashville; quite the ethnic melting pot.

No one has ever brought to his attention that people have “different colors” of skin from one another. He has yet to notice this on his own; that we are all ultimately different shades of brown.

He is aware that people have different hair colors and eye colors, but not skin colors.

I assume that at some point, perhaps within the next few years, he’ll learn from other kids at his school that people can be identified by their race.

Imagine: to be a kid who has no concept of race; or more importantly, prejudice or racism.

Without someone teaching them, I suppose kids don’t know these things?

Since I took my son to see the new Star Wars movie a week ago, he has kept bringing up Finn; one of the main characters and heroes:

“Daddy, look. This new Lego spaceship I made is like the one Finn flies on Star Wars!”

My son is completely unaware that Finn is of a different race. All my son knows is, Finn is a cool guy.

He’s just as clueless of any concept of race in regards to any of the wonderful people in our lives who happen to be of other races.

And my plan is to keep it that way, until the day comes when the topic is actually related to honoring and celebrating that person’s culture.

Why would I bring up their race anyway? It’s irrelevant to him and it’s irrelevant to me.

I believe in the importance of honoring and celebrating a person’s culture. But until then, I just don’t see a point in bringing up the topic of race to my son.

After all, he’s managed just fine without knowing for these first 5 years of his life. I don’t see how he’s at a disadvantage not knowing.

4 Comments Posted on Nostalgia, People, Uncategorized

Facebook Friendship: Let’s Not and Say We Did

 

I hear you knockin’ but you can’t come in. 

For months now, there have been “friend suggestions” on my facebook homepage that I refuse to deny or accept.  I just keep them there in purgatory.  And the fact that they haven’t requested to be my friend yet either means that the feeling is mutual: Despite growing up together, we don’t have a desire to reconnect as adults.

The problem with high school is that we were all immature back then.  Sure we did foolish things we would be embarrassed if today if anyone remembered.  But even worse than the embarrassing things we remember which we hope no one else does, are the hurtful things we did or said to others that we ourselves don’t remember doing.

I realize that people from junior high or high school who may have spoken stinging words to me back in the 90’s or even that were just overall snotty or hateful, have grown up now, just like I have.  They get the benefit of the doubt from me that they are now changed people, just like I am.

But I can’t say the same for those I may have offended unaware.  For all I know, there are some people in their late 20’s who remember me as a jerk from when I was a teenager.  And to them, I’m still a jerk, despite the fact they haven’t been around me or talked to me in over 10 years.  There’s no way for me to know how each individual classmate remembers me.

Unless they accept the fact that there’s a decent chance I’ve matured since then, I will always be that thorn.  There will always be a negative storm cloud associated with my name.

Here’s the thing with offending people: Unless you truly are a jerk, you’re not doing it intentionally. 

And the people who tend to be the most sensitive about getting their feelings hurt are often the people most likely to hold in their hurt and let it fester into bitterness.  And the ones who remember me in less than favorable terms would be the last to tell me.

Instead, they would just turn the other way.  And not make an effort to reconnect.

It’s ironic that we can use prejudice from a person’s behavior in 1998 to determine that they are still the same way in 2010.  Because let’s hope, at least, we’re not the same people we were back then.

But sometimes it’s just better not to open that door at all.  Sometimes it’s not a matter of hard feelings, necessarily, or not forgiving a person.  Sometimes it’s just best to not to rekindle a relationship and let our best basic instincts guide us to click “ignore”.

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and we’d never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe we’d ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

 -“The Freshmen” by The Verve Pipe