I Don’t Hate Mondays

If you knew me in high school, you may still have a vague memory of me going around the hallways during break, selling gum from my backpack. Yes, welcome to…“Confessions of a Teenage Gum Dealer”.

It was a different time back then. Gum in the classroom was strictly prohibited. I sold a good that was a true commodity. I provided a service that was risky. The free market rewarded me accordingly.

In hindsight, I apparently felt tied down by the idea of having to commit to just one group of people to hang out with in high school, so I decided it made more sense to bounce around from the skateboarders, to the athletes and cheerleaders, to the gamers playing Doom in the computer lab, to everyone in-between.

And while socially connecting with everyone at school, why not make some money in the process?

I would buy the multipacks of Wrigley’s gum from the grocery store for about a dollar, then only charge 25 cents per pack (which contained 5 sticks of gum) when I sold them at school. That meant I made over a dollar profit for each multipack. And believe me, I sold a lot of multipacks each week!

Naturally, I carried this “Zack Morris” mentality with me to college…

I bought two pairs of old microwaves and mini-fridges from Goodwill; turning my dorm room into the most glorious convenience store. I would go to Wal-Mart and buy microwaveable popcorn, ramen, egg rolls, burritos, and Hot Pockets; as well as other tempting processed foods like candy, energy drinks, and soda.

Just like in high school, running a “small business” allowed me to be socially connected while making some money along with the way. Coincidentally, I lived in Dorm 15 at Liberty University. My regular customers cleverly named my store, “The Freshman 15”; for many of them, it proved to live up to the name.

As I have recently been thinking back on those stories, it finally hit me, this year at age 43:

“Oh… I’m one of those people who will never stop working even after I retire, because if I do, I will die shortly afterwards.”

This does not bother me. Fortunately, I happen to also be one of those people who not only believes, but also lives by, the concept, ‘Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Funny thing is, most people don’t actually know what I do for a living. Many people assume that I write for a living, or that it has something to do with making YouTube videos. To be fair, I do make a passive side income from those hobbies. (Even my hobbies revolve around me finding a way to make money off of them!)

But my actual job, ever since I graduated college, is I am a recruiter. Basically, I’m a salesman under the division of HR.

I have a monthly quota. My job is find qualified people and motivate them to be interested in one of my company’s openings that needs to be filled- and then lead them through the whole paperwork process and background reports, up unto the point of their first day of onboarding.

I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love the company I work for.

I get a thrill out of overcoming challenges and managing chaos.

Yet, somewhat ironically, I am definitely not a workaholic. I don’t think about work before 8 AM nor do I think about it after 5 PM.

I definitely never think about my job during the weekend. Yet, unlike Garfield, I don’t hate Mondays. I don’t constantly fantasize about taking a vacation. You’ll never hear me complain about my job.

So I’m pretty sure that when I eventually officially retire at some point, I’m still going to be finding ways to make money, while connecting with people.

I suppose it has something to do with me recognizing that work, especially as it relates to earning income and being able to find a way to be of service to others, not only gives me purpose but it also doubles as a much-needed distraction from the big, scary aspects about life that have no satisfying answers or perfect solutions.

There is comfort in the routine. I don’t fight it. I embrace it.

Effective Immediately: New Facebook Game- I Am Now Deleting Friends Who Complain About Monday’s

The rules:  A) You complain about Monday’s, I delete you.  B) You never complain about Monday’s, we continue to be facebook friends forever.

There are so many tempting games available for facebook users these days. Farmville is the main one that comes to mind.  But after blocking Farmville on my facebook feed, I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.  I’m in the mood to start playing a facebook game now, however.  The thing is, I invented this game. Here’s how it works:

Anytime I see any of my facebook friends complain about Monday’s, I will immediately delete them.  There is a reason behind this.

In a time where not everyone is fortunate enough to have a job, I don’t want to hear anyone even jokingly complain how about having to go to work on Monday. Because when people whine about Monday’s, they are ultimately complaining about having to get out of bed, go to work, and get paid.  Not all of us have that option.

Just to be sure, I will delete anyone who uses any of these phrases or anything close to them:

“I got a case of the Monday’s!”

“Ugh…Monday!”

“Darn you, Monday!”

“Dear Monday, I could sure live without you!”

There are a few exceptions of people who I will not delete for complaining about Monday’s.  I have a collection of guy friends that I cyber-bully regularly.  After reading this notice, they would probably complain about Monday’s just to despite me and to test if I am serious about playing the game.  So if you are one of the following dudes, you are immune to my game.  I will not delete you just to spite you:

Ben Wilder, Jarred Johnson, Kenn Snipes, Brian Winkles, and Dave Stanley

Just so everyone is clear on the rules, I will not delete anyone for celebrating the coming of the weekend. That’s not the same as complaining about Monday, which again, alludes to whining about having a job to go to in the first place.  If you have a job, thank the good Lord for it.  Even your boss is a jerk, you hate your job, and/or your job doesn’t pay enough money.

If I delete you for complaining about Monday’s, the only way you can be welcomed back in the fold is by submitting a 200 word essay explaining why I should accept your friend request.  Bribes are encouraged.

This is an open game.  Anyone is welcome to join.