For Memorial Day weekend, we started things off right on Saturday morning by refusing to take showers, but instead, throwing on hats and sunglasses and hopping in our Jeep Wrangler.
This made the very first time I took off not only the complete top, but also, the doors too. As you can imagine, it was a great family experience.
It was like going on a roller coaster ride! And yet Little River Canyon Rim Parkway is only 5 miles from my parents’ house, where I grew up in Fort Payne, Alabama.
This 16 mile drive along the canyon and river is a well kept secret, yet the perfect place to take the family in a Jeep Wrangler.
Nearly a month into driving my 6 speed Jeep Wrangler JK Sport, I have come to the obvious revelation:
When I am driving my Jeep, it is virtually just like He-Man riding Battle Cat.
I realize there are much more practical vehicles I could be driving; like any Asian-made commuter car.
But for me, I would much rather drive my made in the USA 2010 Jeep Wrangler. Even if it’s not so practical to be driving a manual transmission in Nashville traffic. Even if I could definitely be getting better gas mileage driving a Prius. Even if it would be easier to fit two kids in the back seat of nearly anything else.
There is some scarcity these days regarding what percentage of the American population knows how to drive a manual transmission. There is even more scarcity for people who own a manual transmission Jeep Wrangler and drive it daily.
I feel like this is the equivalent of being able to remove the sword from the stone. Or being able to pick up Thor’s hammer.
It is a Jeep thing and I totally understand. It’s like having bragging rights about something so sacred in American culture, yet much of the population could not appreciate something so glorious yet so impractical.
When you drive a Jeep Wrangler, you not only drive a toy… you drive a beast.
This is a beast you must tame and teach to control; because after all, it is a wild animal.
You have to learn the beast and the beast must learn you. You must master the art of switching to the right gear at the right time, at any given second. You must know when it’s necessary to switch into 4 wheel drive. You must know which days are worth taking off the top- and which days are worth taking off the doors too!
Yes, this beast is able to drive across a river and through deep mud and up mountains.
As much it’s an important part of my identity not to be judgmental towards other people, I am willing to admit my weakness in this area:
I have tasted from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Real Jeeps Vs. Mom Minivan Jeeps. My eyes have seen the truth.
The truth is, while a Jeep Wrangler is still a Jeep Wrangler, there is definitely an understood hierarchy among those of us who drive real Jeep Wranglers.
A real Jeep is a 2 door with a manual transmission.
But if it has 4 doors with an automatic transmission, it is ultimately the coolest minivan for moms.
If the only way I could have obtained a Jeep Wrangler was to have gotten the 4 door with a automatic transmission, then I would have.
Fortunately… I own a 2010 Jeep Wrangler Sport 6 Speed. All black with black tinted windows. It’s the real deal.
When I think of the Mom Minivan Jeeps, I think of a stick figure family on the back window.
Not me. I don’t want to be cute.
Instead, I only have one sticker on the back window of my Jeep: The snake from Metallica’s Black Album.
It’s send the right message. I drive the Metallica Black Album Jeep Wrangler.
To anyone who perceives that I cut them off in daily commuter traffic, they shouldn’t be surprised when they see my sticker.
To anyone who perceives that I am driving too slowly in front of them (because I am in the same line of traffic they are but I am trying to maintain my speed in 2nd gear without needless downshifting to 1st again because I creep up behind the care in front of me quicker than I had do), they shouldn’t be surprised when they see my sticker.
To any who perceives that I am going too fast or too rough, they shouldn’t be surprised when they see my sticker.
One of the ongoing themes of Metallica’s music is embracing that fact that as human being are not the “good” people we naturally assume we are; especially as we compare ourselves to others who we perceive has worse morals.
Songs like “Sad But True”, “Devil’s Dance”, “Am I Savage?” and “Master of Puppets” carry a theme of recognizing the we as individuals continue to give control over our emotions and decisions to other people and/or vices; as opposed to making the conscious decision to take control ourselves.
The Metallica Black Album Jeep Wrangler is amoral. The Metallica Black Album Jeep Wrangler is chaotic neutral. The Metallica Black Album Jeep Wrangler has no emotions.
So yeah, a stick figure family wouldn’t be a good representation of the identity of the driver of my Jeep; even if, somewhat ironically, there truly is a fun-loving American family of 4 riding inside.
Just in time for you to turn 8 and a half years old, and before your spring soccer season came to an end, we were able to drive our Jeep to one of your games.
Our Jeep has the ability for just the front half of the top to come off (as well as the whole thing). Your game was during a 3 day stretch where I just left off the “Freedom Panels” the entire time; even when I left the Jeep in the parking lot at work.
Needless to say, we all enjoyed our drive to your soccer game.
You don’t have a soccer dad. You have a Jeep dad!
And that’s good for you, because you get to be a Jeep son.
This weekend’s drive confirmed what I always believed about owning a Jeep Wrangler; that you don’t simply own a vehicle, you own a mobile amusement park.
Automatically, anywhere you drive is suddenly more exciting. The view is undeniably better. Whenever you see a road you want to go down, or go up, that you wouldn’t normally be able to… well, now you can.
And we did. Many times.
There is no fear of getting stuck in the mud, because now we have 4 wheel drive.
There is no fear of not being able to turn around if we get to the end of a narrow dead-end road, because the Jeep is so short.
There is no fear of boredom, because we are ultimately riding in a mini monster truck.
Something really crazy about my 7 and a half year journey to finally getting my Jeep Wrangler is that I never ever drove one until I had already bought mine!
That’s how much I knew I was destined to own one.
I can’t remember the last time I bought anything for myself that made me so happy.
When you’re the husband and the father, you just sort of go along with whatever is going on with your family. There was honestly nothing I needed or even wanted anyway.
Except for the Jeep, which I couldn’t afford until now; and was able to pay cash for. (My wife and I are very serious about Dave Ramsey!)
But this Jeep isn’t just for me: My whole family enjoys it.
It’s simply more fun to drive now; even in bumper to bumper commuter Nashville traffic.
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