To be? That is the question.
Like a baby discovering his hand in front of his face for the first time, sometimes I get these profound revelations that were there all along, but I never really grasped them before. Yesterday, it hit me: “Be”. The verb “be”. While it can be used in so many different ways and instances, it’s a pretty deep word to think of it in its most simple human terms when relating to one’s self.
To be is to exist.
Take away any adjective or noun that could follow “be”. To not “be” anything. Just to be. What does it mean to just simple be? To simply exist.
Is it all the day to day tasks we do each day? Driving, working, eating, resting?
Is it simply being alive? Having a heartbeat? Breathing?
It’s too deep for me. I don’t know how to “be”. How exactly do you “be”?
At least, I don’t know how to “be” myself- though I know how to be myself, by not being someone else. But I can’t “be” alone. I can sleep in a house by myself but that’s being alone, not “being” alone. Where this is going is this: “Being” makes a lot more sense when someone else is “being” too.
It helps to observe the lyrics of a legendary rock song like “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2: “I have climbed the highest mountains, I have run through the fields… I have run, I have crawled, I have scaled these city walls, these city walls… only to be with you”.
This is sort of song that stops people in their tracks when they hear it. So full of passion. A song everyone can relate to, even if they can’t relate to the major spiritual undertones. If a person simply just hears this song they will most likely walk away subconsciously agreeing that they still haven’t found what they’re looking for. And, that they would go through extreme measures, only to “be” with another person.
Whatever “being” is, it’s something that is accomplished with other human being who is also “being. And that’s what “being together” is. “Being”. Together.
I am constantly trying to corner down in my mind what it is to “be”, so that I can “be” with everyone important to me in my life. There’s that annoying balance of figuring out what are truly life’s distractions (worrying about money, getting stressed over uncontrollable things like future plans, etc.) and still doing the things it takes to be a responsible person (working, providing, supporting, listening, teaching, etc.).
Sometimes deliberately focusing on something so simple can be the hardest thing to do.
“Now an ambulance screams, while the silliest things are flopping around in my brain. And I try not to dream up impossible schemes that swim around, wanna drown me insane. And don’t know how to slow it down. Oh, my mind’s racing from chasing pirates.”
-“Chasing Pirates” by Norah Jones