Storytelling

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Why Nick Shell is a Big Fan of Boost Mobile’s “Is That the Talking Dog?” Commercial (Because It’s a Lot Like “Portlandia” with Fred Armisen)

Weird people who are subtle and seemingly familiar are wonderfully entertaining.

There must be a certain off-beat frequency that both old people and residents of Portland, Oregon are evidently tuned in to.  It apparently causes them to bring up the most bizarre and irrelevant conversation topics.  I believe that specific strangeness is characterized in Boost Mobile’s “Unwronged Pet Carrier” commercial which is simply recognized by most of us as “that weird cell phone commercial with the Dave Grohl wannabe pulling the luggage cart and the sort of half-Venezuelan looking guy that says, ‘Is that the talking dog?'”

I am constantly subconsciously trying to figure out: What talking dog? The guy uses the word “the” instead of “a” as the article referring to the dog.  It’s not just any dog; it’s one particular famous talking dog.  So what famous talking dog is he referring to that I somehow missed on my facebook feed?

Some could say that this mysterious reference to a talking dog would be a cause for me to be annoyed by the commercial.  But no; I recognize this as a clever marketing technique which I feel is a successful effort to relate to people who appreciate subculture-acknowledging commercials.  For people who include Garden State in their top ten list of movies and The Office in their top ten list of TV shows.  And who blocked Farmville within the first two weeks of its existence.

For those of us who appreciate the talking dog commercial (which coincidentally are the same kind of people who found this post and are currently reading it now) I think it’s safe to say that most of us could easily picture one of our grandma’s actually saying “Is that the talking dog?” during dinner.  The talking dog commercial is subtle yet memorable.  Granted, I’ve been with Verizon Wireless for 10 years now and have no intentions on ever switching, but I definitely want to publicly thank the cool people at the whatever marketing agency who gave us the talking dog gem of a commercial.

What is “Portlandia”?  Now’s your chance to find out…

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Strange But True Stories in Fort Payne, AL: My Christmas Tree Reappeared in My Driveway Yesterday; A Month and a Half after I Threw It to the Curb

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, you’re kinda freaking me out.

Like most responsible people, around January 3rd I took my live Christmas tree out to the driveway where the trash is picked up.  Strangely, it was gone within a couple of hours, though the garbage men didn’t come that day.  Then yesterday afternoon as we were pulling out of the driveway, my wife shouted, “Hey!  Is that our Christmas tree in our driveway next to the mailbox?”  She was right.  And even as I write this, it remains in the driveway next to the mailbox.  At this point, I’m curious to see if it magically disappears again.

How can I be positive that it indeed is the same Christmas tree that was in our house?  Fortunately, I have well documented the process of getting the tree in this “dad from day one” post.  You can clearly see it is the same shape; and also, the way the very top of the tree is sort of broken off makes it obvious this is the same tree.  I highly encourage you to click that link above if you haven’t already, just to compare the pictures.

One of the weirdest parts of the story is that both when the tree disappeared, then reappeared, it was in broad daylight in normal weather.

So what are some possible explanations?  Here’s the best I can do:

1) The wind blew it out of sight for several weeks.  Then the wind coincidentally blew it right back in our driveway.  The thing is, this tree is solid enough that it would take a severe thunderstorm/small tornado to lift it off the ground- both times.  There has been snow, but definitely no strong enough winds to move the tree twice.

2)  Someone is playing a prank.  A person who has too much time on their hands during the daytime came in a pickup truck and deliberately did this.  As far as I am aware, I don’t know of any person who fits that description.

3)  A wild animal did it.  No dog would be strong enough to drag the tree away.  Unless it was Bigfoot.

I firmly believe that I will never know how this happened.  Forever a mystery.

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Effective Immediately: New Facebook Game- I Am Now Deleting Friends Who Complain About Monday’s

The rules:  A) You complain about Monday’s, I delete you.  B) You never complain about Monday’s, we continue to be facebook friends forever.

There are so many tempting games available for facebook users these days. Farmville is the main one that comes to mind.  But after blocking Farmville on my facebook feed, I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.  I’m in the mood to start playing a facebook game now, however.  The thing is, I invented this game. Here’s how it works:

Anytime I see any of my facebook friends complain about Monday’s, I will immediately delete them.  There is a reason behind this.

In a time where not everyone is fortunate enough to have a job, I don’t want to hear anyone even jokingly complain how about having to go to work on Monday. Because when people whine about Monday’s, they are ultimately complaining about having to get out of bed, go to work, and get paid.  Not all of us have that option.

Just to be sure, I will delete anyone who uses any of these phrases or anything close to them:

“I got a case of the Monday’s!”

“Ugh…Monday!”

“Darn you, Monday!”

“Dear Monday, I could sure live without you!”

There are a few exceptions of people who I will not delete for complaining about Monday’s.  I have a collection of guy friends that I cyber-bully regularly.  After reading this notice, they would probably complain about Monday’s just to despite me and to test if I am serious about playing the game.  So if you are one of the following dudes, you are immune to my game.  I will not delete you just to spite you:

Ben Wilder, Jarred Johnson, Kenn Snipes, Brian Winkles, and Dave Stanley

Just so everyone is clear on the rules, I will not delete anyone for celebrating the coming of the weekend. That’s not the same as complaining about Monday, which again, alludes to whining about having a job to go to in the first place.  If you have a job, thank the good Lord for it.  Even your boss is a jerk, you hate your job, and/or your job doesn’t pay enough money.

If I delete you for complaining about Monday’s, the only way you can be welcomed back in the fold is by submitting a 200 word essay explaining why I should accept your friend request.  Bribes are encouraged.

This is an open game.  Anyone is welcome to join.

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dad from day one: Who Jack Resembles the Most Right Now- Grandpa Tuttle

Week 13.


Something always told me, during the pregnancy, that Jack wouldn’t really look that much like me.  He inherited my gender and my dark hair (though his hair appears to be lightening up a bit), but other than that, my physical traits have yet to truly surface in him.  And it’s not that he doesn’t look like my wife- people have said they see more of her in him, yet still no one says that he absolutely looks just like either of us.  That’s because, for right now, he looks like Grandpa Tuttle- my wife’s dad.


I see the resemblance most in Jack’s eyes.  Even when/if Jack’s eyes darken to brown eventually, he still will have the eye shape of his grandfather.  Bill Tuttle, my father-in-law and Jack’s maternal grandfather, passed away just a few months after my wife and I got married in 2008.  But I am constantly reminded of him when I look at Jack.  This helps me to better understand the concept of how children are truly an extension of their family.


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dad from day one: Why Technically Baby Jack is a Year Old Today

Week 13. (Three months.)

3 months out of the womb + 9 months in the womb = 12 months

I had always heard that in certain Asian countries, you are considered a year old as soon as you are born.  Then I went to South Korea in 2004 to work with some high school boys at a “Learn Conversational English” camp.  Sure enough, they all told me there were 17 years old, but when I compared their birthdays to the age they claimed to be, I realized that South Koreans do indeed hold the belief that you born a year old.  The boys were only 16 years old; the way we Americans see it.

But really, this makes much more sense to me than being “zero” the day you are born.  Sure, we spend 9 months in our mother’s womb, not a full 12 months, but 9 months is definitely closer to a year than to zero months. So in that case, I’m already in my thirties! Baby Jack is officially three months old today, though he has been alive a full year now.

At three months, Jack officially “talks”, turns his head when he hears my voice (he wasn’t always able to hear my deep voice), grabs onto my hand when I hold him, and as of last night, can officially turn over to his stomach completely on his own. He has to wear clothes for 6 month olds now.  And while I’m led to believe that he is indeed a big baby, I think he’s just starting out life with a bit of a growth spirt. His bulky forearms remind me of Popeye.

Jack in his "baked potato" outfit.