The Importance Of Being Bored, As A Parent

15 months.

For my son, boredom is basically non-existent. He can find entertainment out of poking me in the eye. But for a parent, boredom is a rare, higher state of being; in other words, it’s basically nirvana.

Even when he is asleep, the dishes are done, lunches are packed, and emails are checked, there’s still some kind of necessary “wind-down” time that has to take place which probably involves half-way watching American Idol, while being pretty confident that Jessica Sanchez has already won it anyway.

Then I realize, “Hey, I could be sleeping right now.”

Sleep is the go-to activity when there is ever actually extra time left in the day. But in rare instances, it can even be possible as a parent to enter the much elusive state of boredom.

Last week, I had to go somewhere after dinner for about an hour; during the time of night my wife and I generally watch an episode or two of Lost together on Netflix streaming. When I walked in, I saw my wife on the couch, playing on Facebook.

With a curious smile on her face, she said, “While you were gone, I got bored.”

That was a big deal. I can’t remember the last time she said that to me. Was it before our son was born? Before she was even pregnant? I don’t know, but it’s been long enough for it to be a foreign concept.

Boredom doesn’t really happen in our house. But I really wouldn’t mind it happening more often.

It makes me think of the concept of disposable income. You have more of it before you have kids. But then it shrinks to the point that if you any cash somehow floating up from the budget, it’s hard to spend it on something other than paying off other bills or adding it into savings.

Similarly, the state of boredom rarely gets to be consumed as is. Instead, it often translates as “I really should be doing something productive with this window of free time.”

I almost laugh at the concept of having of me having hobby, unless it’s something I do during my lunch break at work. Because hobbies require free time; time during which I would otherwise be bored.

So today, I wish the blessing of boredom upon all parents who read this.

Unless this article itself made you bored. In that case, I revoke my blessing.

My Toddler Has Moves Like Jagger… And Frankenstein!

February 29, 2012 at 8:43 pm , by 

15 months.

Whenever Jack hears any kind of music, he just starts dancing. I realize, though, I may be using the word “dancing” pretty loosely.

Sure, he’s got moves like Jagger… but mixed with a little bit of Stevie Wonder’s signature head swing from side to side and while awkwardly putting his arms straight out like Frankenstein.

It can be Phil Collins’ soft rock, Bon Jovi’s hard rock, Jason Aldean’s country rock, or simply a cheesy jingle on the radio: No matter what kind of song it is, Jack believes it deserves the same dance moves.

In other words, my son has soul but he ain’t got no rhythm.

He’s pretty much obsessed with dancing right now. He has this zebra scooter which he refuses to ride until I hit the music button on it.

Similarly, he won’t begin eating his breakfast or dinner until my wife turns on the radio on top of the fridge.

Jack will point up to the stereo, waiting until he hears a melody before touching the food on the tray of his high chair.

This morning as I was helping my wife get him dressed, he was being pretty cranky for no good reason. I tried distracting him by making stupid faces and weird jungle sounds, but it was to no avail.

So my wife and I decided to sing an unrehearsed duet for him: The Alphabet Song.

By the letter F, he was laughing and working on his dance moves.

And while he doesn’t even care about watching TV in the first place, perhaps for our own entertainment, my wife and I like to turn on The Backyardigans (via Netflix streaming through our Wii) just to watch him get all excited and Jagger around to the surprisingly un-catchy, yet unforgettable, theme song.

My son is definitely a dancing machine. Here again, I’m using the word “dancing” pretty loosely.

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Fathers Are 1/3 of Stay-At-Home Parents, But Still Pay The “Dad Tax”

February 23, 2012 at 10:45 pm , by 

15 months.

The newest US Census shows that one third of stay-at-home parents are dads. Yeah, for every two stay-at-home moms, there is one stay-at-home dad. That’s a lot, actually.

I’ve pointed out before that companies are really missing out by not doing more “dad ads” in highly read publications, like Parents magazine.

So when Baby Orajel decided to feature a dad ad in the January issue, I spotlighted them, promising to do the same for any other companies who were brave (and smart) enough to acknowledge the relevance and buying power of fathers.

While there were no dad ads in the February issue of Parents magazine, I am pleased to announce that the March issue features two of them!

On page 130, Huggies is not only running a dad ad, but also doing a contest on their Facebook page where you can nominate a dad to prove that their Huggies’ Leak Lock stop leaks better.

I appreciate that Huggies acknowledges how normal it is for dads to be actively involved in changing their kids’ diapers.

Turn back to page 111 and you will see an ad for Vick’s NyQuil and DayQuil, making a reference to the concept of “Super Dad.” I like that.

It means a lot to me as a dad to see that men are being deemed in our society as more relevant than ever before.

At the same time, I’m very aware that that the “dad tax” exists. The concept is that fathers have to work harder at most parenting tasks in order to be considered an equal parent, as compared to a mother.

I recently read a spot-on article by a fellow daddy blogger, Jonathan Liu of Geek Dad, featured on Wired.com. It’s called “Who’s Minding the Kids? Not Dads.

Liu, a stay-at-home dad, explains how he is often mistaken by strangers as a dad who is “babysitting” his own kids during the day.

He points out how it’s still not a legitimate concept, especially to older generations, that a man could be the daytime caretaker of his children without it being a substitutional, sub-par arrangement.

However, now that a third of stay-at-home parents are fathers, and now that companies are starting to feature more dad ads, it’s becoming pretty obvious that we aren’t simply babysitting, we’re being active fathers.

Sure, we can’t give birth or breastfeed, nor would we want to (!), but there’s a lot we can do beyond stereotypical examples like having tea parties with our daughter or showing up to all of our son’s ball games.

Don’t forget, we change diapers too.

A

Classic Magic Moments in Parenting: #2 Snowman Art

February 23, 2012 at 10:40 pm , by 

It’s realizing you’ve been staring too long at a picture of your kid as a snowman and have actually begun to feel sorry for him with those pathetic little stick arms.

Poor kid.

 

 

Yes, I’m Teaching My Son the Power of “No”