Storytelling

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting, Storytelling

My Toddler’s 1st 5 K… He Just Felt Like Running!

March 11, 2013 at 11:40 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Here’s the most flattering picture I’ve ever taken of you. (Sarcasm.)

There you are in the back seat on Saturday afternoon, indulging in a vegan chocolate cookie from Whole Foods Market.

You didn’t seem to notice there were no eggs or dairy in your cookie. All you knew is that for some reason, I was letting you pig out on a treat which you didn’t have to earn by going potty at the house.

As for the reason the cookie was vegan, that would be because, well… this is me officially coming out of the vegan closet.

I have suffered from severe allergies and sinus problems since 1992, when I was only 11; I’ll be 32 next month. But a week ago I decided to see what would happen if I stopped drinking milk with my coffee.

About two days into using coconut and rice milk instead, I noticed that my constant sinus pressure cleared up.

Then I became addicted to that version of life. It’s been 21 years since I’ve breathed so easily and have been able to think so clearly. The fog in my brain has lifted, in more ways than one.

I decided that if it meant going vegan (no dairy or eggs, in addition to no meat) to continue my heightened state of well-being, I would be willing to make the appropriate lifestyle change. Watching the documentaryVegucated on Netflix solidified my decision.

Granted, our family has been vegetarians for 15 months now. So I’ve been living an alternative lifestyle this whole time anyway. Here it is; the last picture of us together before I became a vegan. The following day I would become even weirder.

Just to be clear, the vegan thing is just for me; not for you or Mommy.

Though when I think about it, the only thing keeping you from being a vegan is Annie’s whole wheat macaroni and cheese and your Chobani Champions Tubes of yogurt.

You don’t like eggs. You don’t like milk. But you’ll eat cheese and yogurt so I want you to keep enjoying them.

Or at least I should say, enjoy them while you can.

I’ve already learned that you and I have basically the same medical issues. The only reason you and I don’t currently still have eczema is because A) I make sure that none of your soaps or lotions contain sodium lauryl sulfate or artificial dyes and B) other than special occasions, I deprive you of processed sugar; even 100% fruit juice.

So don’t be surprised in about 9 years when you turn 11, that you’ll suddenly get this sinus pressure that gets worse at night and any time the weather changes. It will feel like you desperately need to blow your nose, but there’s nothing there when you try.

Son, I hope the best for you. I hope you haven’t inherited my severe allergies and sinus problems, but if you have… at least you’ll have a vegan dad to help teach you have to live the peculiar life of no eggs or dairy, in addition to no meat.

Mmm… did somebody say vegan chocolate cookies?

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

The Difference Between 2 Year-Old Boys And Girls

March 9, 2013 at 11:45 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

You are a boy… and you definitely act like it. You make it so obvious that little boys are wired much differently than little girls.

It’s a rare sight to find you without some kind of overly masculine (and therefore predictably goofy) Hot Wheels car clenched tightly in your hand, whether it’s on the car ride to day care,watching Hard Hat Harry on Netflix at the house, or even navigating your way around any given playground.

At no point do you ever need me to tell you what little boys should like. You are currently obsessed with monster trucks, but it’s not something I prompted.

You just saw a toy monster truck one day and asked me, “I can like that? I take it home?”

The answer was obviously yes. Now you have like 7 of them.

One of your daily routines on the way to school now is to go through the colors of the rainbow in reference to monster trucks and/or Jeep Wranglers:

“I have a blue monster truck? I can drive it?”

I will reply, “Jack has a blue monster truck… He drives it!”

Next you’ll say the truck (or Jeep) is black, orange, purple, or even pink. Twice now you asked for a “dinosaur Jeep.” I’m still trying to figure that one out…

I contrast this against what I see the girls your age doing at daycare. They are always tending to either the baby dolls or the pretend kitchen and food; meanwhile the boys are wandering around, looking for trouble… I mean adventure.

It’s not that I have to stereotype little boys versus little girls. That’s just naturally how it ends up.

Even if you want to drive a pink monster truck or Jeep, the fact is still that you want to drive a monster truck or Jeep.

It would be different if you were fantasizing about a VW Bug, Mini Cooper, Mazda Miata, Dodge Neon, or a Toyota Rav 4.

I say you just can’t hide your masculinity, even behind the color pink.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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Dads Like To Teach Life Lessons To Their Kids

March 7, 2013 at 10:11 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

Men are wired to solve problems. We like fixing things.

I truly feel empowered and alive anytime I correctly identify a problem, apply the solution, and see the successful result. With that being said, one of the things I love best and look forward to the most as your dad isteaching you life lessons.

It’s a huge part of being a dad.

This concept is exemplified in a Facebook page (and hopefully eventually a book) known as 100 Things to Teach My Son. It is the creative project of a dad named RJ Licata who lives in Syracuse, New York.

Since starting less than two months ago on January 13th, the project has already received over 650 Facebook “likes,” despite not being based on anything or anyone famous. He explains on his page:

“On a whim, I made a Facebook post expressing the first (#100) of the top 100 things I wanted to teach my son. I really had no intention of continuing past that one post. But then I got some ‘Likes’ and some comments that I hadn’t been expecting. So I posted #99, and I got some more positive feedback.

I continued posting my ‘lessons’ with a photo that I thought best explained the lesson in picture, and by the time my countdown got to #85 or so, I’d gotten so much positive feedback from my friends, as well as some Facebook friends that I rarely interact with, that I had no choice but to continue on.

Because so many of the lessons have been so well received, I thought there must be others out there that I’m not friends with who would also enjoy seeing/reading them.

And that is why I started this page… You’ll also find similar posts and content that I think will inspire you to be the best parent/person you can be. It’s not just for fathers. It’s not just for sons. It’s for anyone who wants to be moved to laughter or to tears, to be inspired or comforted. Mostly it’s a way for me to document my journey as a father.”

There is a reason people are connecting with 100 Things to Teach My Son. 

For me, it caught my attention because of its simplicity and honesty. I like that it is built around the idea that active and involved dads spend a lot of time thinking about what they will teach their kids, based on their own life experience.

I definitely relate to that. Here’s a prime example:

“❤ Top 100 Things I Can’t Wait to Teach My Son™ : #56 – Playing catch with dad is much more than throwing and catching, a ball and a glove.”

And a couple more of my favorites…

“❤ Top 100 Things I Can’t Wait to Teach My Son™ : #51 – If you must compare, compare yourself to the you of yesterday, not to anybody else.

❤ Top 100 Things I Can’t Wait to Teach My Son™ : #93 – We all have some sort of super powers, but we don’t all use them.”

Jack, something you will always know about me is that I thrive on teaching you about life and how the world works.

I’ll teach you everything I know, though I obviously know there are just some lessons you learn best on your own.

See, that’s one of my life lessons for you…

 

Love,

Daddy

 

All photos appear courtesy of RJ Licata, 100 Things to Teach My Son. 

 

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My 2 Year-Old Drives Like A Mean Old Man

March 4, 2013 at 11:52 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

We have been pumping you up for weeks now about Shipwrecked, an indoor playhouse in the Nashville area.

You indeed had plenty of fun- you are already asking when you can go back:

“I go Shipwrecked again? I drive the car? It’s mine?”

However, judging by the look on your face in this picture, the word “fun” wouldn’t necessarily be the first adjective to come to mind.

How about crotchety? Irritable? Cranky?

Despite a big pirate ship playground, train tables, dress up rooms, and toys all over the place, you spent about 97% of your time on the Fred Flintstone-style Lightning McQueen car, which you were nearly too big for.

If this picture of you depicts a 2 year-old boy who claimed ownership over one of the playground’s community cars, then used it to plow through the toys and other kids, causing Daddy to serve as some sort of safety watchman as I followed you back and forth across the place, then I would say the picture above serves the event justice.

If by chance the picture depicts a 2 year-old boy who drove like a mean old-man on his way to beat the lunch crowd at Shoney’s, then this picture captured the moment accurately.

So why were you only in the car for 97% percent of the time? That’s because you spent the other 3% of the time in the playhouse’s two ball pits.

But each time you slipped out of the car, it was a paranoia-laced situation.

You had to carefully shut the car door, discouraging any other kid from stealing your ride.

You always parked two steps away from the ball pit, then leaped overboard, like in every movie I’ve never seen about international spies.

Fortunately, for my sake, I didn’t have to break up any toddler fist fights. That’s because no other kid dared get near “your” car.

 

Love,

Daddy

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A Perfect Example Of Fakebooking

March 3, 2013 at 11:17 pm , by 

2 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

There’s nothing quite like sleeping in until 8:30 on a Saturday morning, then sliding out of bed and making our way to get our soy lattes as a family.

You always let Mommy and I get you dressed without putting up a fight and it’s just a stress-free, relaxing drive anytime we drive anywhere.

In fact, this time we happen to see a family of deer crossing the road on our way there. And then as if that wasn’t enough, a bald eagle flew over our car and led us all the way to Starbucks… like we didn’t already know the way. LOL!

After Mommy and I ordered our coffees, you ordered your favorite drink yourself:

“Yes sir, I would like a short cup of whipped cream, please. That’s 8 ounces, which is the square root of 64.”

The barista was so impressed by your vocabulary and knowledge of math skills.

Ugh! I’m such a bad dad for not thinking much about it anymore…

It’s just that since your daycare had you skip two grades, from the 2 year-olds to the 4 year-olds class, and on top of that, placed you in the gifted program, well… let’s just say I’m used to it by now.

There aren’t a whole lot of 2 year-olds who know how to solve a Rubik’s Cube as quickly as you can… just sayin’!

Anyway, the three of us just chillaxed there on the patio while lightly jamming to the likes of Mumford & Sons. I really need to upload their newest album, Babel, onto your iPod touch.

Wait, what am I saying? That’s ridiculous…

You don’t need me to do that! I forget you like to upload your own music without any of my help.

I guess what I’m saying is that it was a great weekend, like every weekend for us.

You make being a parent easy, kid. I remember our recent man-to-man talk when I asked you, “Son, when are these so-called Terrible Two’s going to happen?”

I’ll never forget it. You placed your hand on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eyes and replied:

“Pops, you and Mommy have enough to worry about. I’ll let you guys off the hook. I can be mature about the whole thing. Whenever I want something, I’ll just ask politely. If you say no, then I’ll be calm and respect your decision, directing my thoughts to a more positive place.”

I tell you, kid. Sometimes I wonder if I’m not just living the dream.

Pinch me, because this all seems too good to be true.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Author’s note: In case the title of this post didn’t make it clear, this was simply an exaggerated example of what Fakebooking is. I am not actually this pretentious; at least I am hope not!

For a more official introduction of Fakebooking, click here to read “I Fakebook Daily And I’m Not Ashamed To Admit It.”