parenting

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

Intactivists’ Responses To AAP’s Revised Circumcision Policy

August 28, 2012 at 5:16 am , by 

21 months.

Recently the American Academy of Pediatrics updated its stance on circumcision, saying the benefits outweigh the risks.

If you are a soon-to-be parent of a baby boy who has been trying to figure out whether or not circumcision is right for your son, then the AAP’s statement is good news. Now you can have some closure on this subject.

Circumcision it is. Done.

But if you are an Intactivist, one who actively campaigns against circumcision, then the American Academy of Pediatrics’ revised circumcision stance is bad news:

After all, it means that an organization that most parents would find to be respectable and trustworthy is justifying an unnecessary tradition of genital mutilation.

The AAP’s revised policy takes away the credibility of what Intactivists have been trying to tell us all along.

So much for the neutrality of this article: I’m not an Intactivist, by the way.

Like most parents who have decided to circumcise their son, I am not and have never been passionate about the subject of circumcision.

However, on three different occasions now, I have explained what propelled me to choose circumcision:

Dadvice #5: How Is It Natural To Circumcise Your Son?

Dadvice #6: Is Circumcision Unnecessary And/Or Immoral?

Dadvice #7: A Skeptic’s Letter To Intactivists

When it was all said and done, I had no problem saying this to Intactivists:

“You may be right.” It’s just that ultimately, I don’t care if they’re right. What’s done is done.

It became evident to me that the only way I could find shelter from the tidal wave of violent comments I received in those three Dadvice articles was to A) repent of the sin of circumcising my son, B) start using The Dadabaseas a platform to preach Intactivism, and C) make an oath to not circumcise my next son, should I ever have one.

That sort of parenting extremismsimply turns me off to their ideas, as valid as some of their points may be.

The vibes I have received from most Intactivists have been saturated in condescension, sarcasm, and prejudice.

I realize that stating my opinion on this today is only throwing gasoline on the fire; further perpetuating the frenemy relationship I have with Intactivist readers. Maybe I’m just curious to see if Intactivists will collectively be clever enough to learn how to be relevant in how they communicate with us unbelievers?

Will Intactivists kill me with their kindness? Will they prove me wrong when I say they are condescending to those of us who do not believe the same way as they do?

For their sake, I hope so.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Spirituality

Why I Personally Support The Blood:Water Mission For Africa

August 27, 2012 at 12:08 am , by 

21 months.

My wife is the one in the relationship who is the stickler for pushing the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.

Meanwhile, I am the one who doesn’t allow either of us to let the faucet to run while we are brushing our teeth, except for the brief moments the toothbrush actuallyneeds to be rinsed.

I think it’s no coincidence that here in America, we play in our water (at water parks!) while people in much of the rest of the world don’t even have clean water to drink.

That’s not to say that if we simply reserved our water use, the people on the other side of the world would suddenly have access to the water they need to survive.

Instead, we have to be proactive to help them have access to clean drinking water. Today, I am honored to share with you a way your family can help families in Africa do just that.

This isn’t just a hopeful prayer: “Lord, please help the poor people in Africa.”

Instead, this is you actually helping the poor people in Africa. What an awesome way you can teach your kids how to help those who are less fortunate.

This past weekend I got to meet Wally from The Wally Show, my favorite radio show. They are a big advocate of a grassroots organization called The Blood:Water Mission that empowers communities to work together against the AIDS and water crises.

The Wally Show hosted a Lemon:Aid fundraiser here in Nashville so my wife and I took our son Jack to check it out.

As the sign behind me in this picture above explains, for anyone who bought a $1 cup of lemonade, they helped provide water to one person for a year.

For a $5 cup, they provided water to a family for a year.

For a $25, they provided water for one person for life.

And for $125, they provided water to a family for life.

As you can see, just a few American dollars still go a long way in Africa.

While at the end of the day I could care less about controversial parenting topics like circumcision and the cry it out method, something I am extremely passionate about is actually helping hurting families in less fortunate countries.

The Blood:Water Mission helps countries like Kenya, Uganda, Ethiopia, Zambia, and Rwanda to have water wells installed to provide clean drinking water for their villages.

Here’s a link to their website which explains all the ways your family can do more than just simply donate money to invest in these lovely African people, but also to get involved like the way I just mentioned:

Doing a Lemon:Aid Stand.

I will close with this perfect quote from Bono of U2:

“Where you live should not decide whether you live or whether you die.”

 

 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

My Son Says I’m Paul Ryan (And My Dad’s The Gorton’s Fish Sticks Guy)

August 26, 2012 at 2:38 pm , by 

21 months.

As far as my son Jack knows right now, I am running for Vice President of The United States of America.

Last Saturday while I was turning on the TV to set upSesame Street for him, a few seconds of the news was on, featuring coverage of the 2012 Presidential race.

Onto the stage walked Paul Ryan, who is Mitt Romney’s running mate.

“Dada.”

It was a statement; not a question.

There was no hesitation in my son’s voice as he looked up at the screen and proclaimed that I was both sitting in the room with him and on the TV at the same time.

Turns out, I am not Paul Ryan and I’m not running for office.

But my son, in all certainty, believes Paul Ryan and I are the same person.

Similarly, Jack thinks that every man with a grayish white beard and hair is my dad, who he calls “Papa.”

From the Gorton’s fish sticks guy to Santa Claus, if my son sees a picture that resembles any likeness to my dad, he dubs that man as Papa.

What’s really interesting concerning my son’s perception of people is the way he sees himself.

I can be pushing him in the jogging stroller around the neighborhood and every time we see another kid around his age, he says, “Baby.”

Other toddlers are “babies” to Jack.

At least he’s consistent. Recently I showed him a picture I had just taken of himself; one where he didn’t realize he was the one in the picture.

His response: “Baby.”

So I guess Jack understands that he is a baby. He is self-aware like that.

Meanwhile, I am Paul Ryan and my dad is the fish sticks guy on the yellow box.

(It is possible to assume I am attempting to subliminally convince you to vote for Mitt Romney and to make Gorton’s fish sticks for dinner tonight. Just keep in mind: I am both a Libertarian and a vegetarian. But man, I do sort of miss fish tacos.)

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

“You May Be Right” Shrugs Off Unwanted Parenting Advice

August 25, 2012 at 9:51 pm , by 

21 months.

I am convinced that the best way to get someone to stop nagging you with their wrong opinion in regards to unsolicited parenting advice is just to simply smile and respond with, “You may be right.”

If they still go on rambling in an attempt to convert you, just said it again; this time raising your eyebrows and smiling even bigger.

You can even throw in peripheral phrases like “I think I might have read a blog about that recently” or “I’ll have to check that out.”

We live in a time when “I don’t agree with you” translates to some people as “I hate you.”

So if a person is already passionate about a polarizing parenting topic that I either A) already have a strong opinion on or B) am indifferent about, I’d rather just move on as quickly as possible to the next conversation topic, as opposed to becoming the next victim of a parenting extremist‘s solicitation speech.

Sometimes it’s just too much hassle to admit with someone that you disagree with them.

I don’t mean to sound like a person without passion and conviction. Because I am very passionate about the things that matter to me; likewise, I am extremely indifferent about the things I don’t care about or care to change.

“You may be right” is clever because it is also undeniably true.

No matter how firmly set I am in my opinions and stances on things like the kind of food I feed my kid or how I choose to discipline him, I could easily be wrong.

I am aware of that at all time. Whether the experts and scientific research support my view or not, still, I may be wrong.

Therefore, the other person with a different perspective as mine may very easily be right.

How arrogant of me to assume that I’m right most of the time about stuff. Or even half the time.

I might as well just assume, at best, I’m only right 49% of the time.

Granted, I want to be right, but I overanalyze stuff a lot.

Like when I half-jokingly wrote a post about hand-cuffing my son on the way to time-out.

It just seems weird to me that in the eyes of parents like me who are “non-spankers” it’s okay to discipline your child by physically restraining them by exiling them to time-out, as opposed to physically striking them.

Yet somehow the idea of taking physical restraint a step further and putting handcuffs on your kid is absurd.

I see double standards there. I see norms based on tradition. And I question that. I question myself.

So, I may be wrong about a lot of my parenting perspectives. The other people may be right.

And when I give them confirmation of that, it helps skip the annoying conversation topic I don’t want to be involved in, like a chapter on a DVD.

I’m such an impatient Millennial parent.

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Teaching My Son To Be A Modern Day Southern Gentleman

August 23, 2012 at 10:47 pm , by 

21 months.

“Jack, be gentle.”

Every time I tell my son that in an effort to help him transition his playful hits into gentle pats, I feel that I should also tell him to be nimble, quick, and to jump over the candlestick.

Of course, somehow I don’t think my son is yet qualified to jump over a candlestick.

His most recent accomplishment is graduating from a focused obsession on Elmo; now also including Ernie and The Count as part of his Sesame Street favorites.

“Five. Ah. Ah. Ah.”

Jack always says it so seriously. And he never actually counts before or after the number 5. Just 5. About three times in a row.

I love teaching my son new things. And fortunately, he loves learning from me.

It’s only natural as a parent to want to prepare your child to become everything you wished you were by the proper age. In particular, I am very aware that I am always thinking of how I can instill in my son how to be an all around gentleman.

(Because we live in Nashville, I feel the need to add the word “Southern” in front of the word “gentleman” to get the full effect.)

Even if right now the greatest lesson I can teach him is to not hit his friends like he’s in some kind of Toddler Fight Club…

I look forward to the day when I start giving him advice on how to talk to girls. Because let’s face it: I’m good at it. (That’s how I met his mother.)

And though my skills as a handyman aren’t much better than the token goofball 1980′s sitcom dad, I think it will be really fun to (try to) teach him how to fix stuff around the house.

Just as important as knowing how to use a wrench and a power drill, I believe, is knowing how to keep a tidy house.

I’ve read enough trendy Ecards on Facebook to know that being a true, relevant gentleman in today’s culture means being very active in the household chores.

Yes, I want my son to be able to caulk a bathroom sink. But I also want him to be a natural at cleaning that sink along with the shower and toilets.

As for myself, I feel that I am really good at a couple things, and am fairly clueless on the rest.

That’s not how I want it to be for my son. I want him to be a jack-of-all-trades and a master of some.

On top of that, I believe it’s also largely up to me to teach him how to treat people with respect; thinking of them before himself, while at the same time being able to stand up and fight for himself when necessary.

I figure, too, that in my attempts to teach him all these things, I can become better at them myself.