parenting

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting, Storytelling

Silly Parents, Thomas The Train Rides Are For Kids!

September 9, 2012 at 11:10 am , by 

21 months.

Yesterday we took our toddler son Jack to the Day Out With Thomas the Train 2012 Mystery On The Rails Tour. As the parents, we had these (unrealistic) expectations of what it would be like:

Each train car would be an actual character from the TV show and we would travel through the best scenery of our city.

Instead, we boarded a normal, regular-looking 1950’s train car and traveled 12 minutes forward at about 15 miles per hour, then backtracked in reverse to where we started from.

The scenery included a parking lot of school buses, a dumping zone, and the graffiti underneath the main bridge.

And that’s if you were sitting on the right side of the train; if you were sitting on the left aisle, you got to see a brick wall for most of the ride.

It cost a total of about 43 bucks for our family of 3 to take this excursion. Granted, there were other Thomas the Train themed activities after the ride ended; like getting free temporary tattoos, visiting a miniature petting zoo, and story time.

However, the rain put a bit of a damper on most of that for us.

So maybe our expectations as parents weren’t exactly met. But when I looked over at Jack, he was totally enthralled by all the excitement.

His face was pressed against the glass of the window most of the time. He never cried nor got antsy. And for a toddler boy, that’s saying a lot!

Not all parents were as lucky as we were.

I saw plenty of fellow dads doing their best to contain their crying sons who couldn’t sit still for the event, or whose sons were even afraid to enter the train at all.

But our child was happy. As his parents, we were just along for the ride. Honestly, isn’t that a good way to sum up parenthood?

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My First-Ever Conversation With My 21 Month-Old Son

September 7, 2012 at 9:57 pm , by 

21 months.

It seems like only yesterday, but actually, it was just a few hours ago.

As I was strapping Jack in his car seat, I very casually made what I thought was a one-sided conversation:

“Jack, did you do anything cool today at school?

“I played,” he (actually!) responded back.

“You did?!” I asked, just to make sure I really heard what I thought I did.

“Yeah,” he replied.

He was indeed sure that the cool thing he did at school was to play. He could have said “nap time” instead. But my son likes playing at day care!

Who knew? Go figure.

That’s it. That was the end of our first-ever conversation.

The moment was magical, like having a puppy suddenly talk to you in a classic Disney movie or something; where the human character says to the enchanted animal: “You can talk?”

Sure, it wasn’t the longest conversation, but it was the first-ever banter I’ve carried on with my son, in which I didn’t just simply ask a yes or no question.

So now I’m thinking about how from here on out, I need to be aware he may be understanding what I’m saying whenever I’m talking. After all, he could jump in and comment at any moment.

I guess I need to start asking him more open-ended questions, too:

“Jack, why do you think Here Comes Honey Boo Boo got more viewers than the Republican National Convention?”

I imagine his response:

“Well, if that’s even true, which I doubt it is, then I would say it’s similar to the reasons people go to see movies. Some go for entertainment or enlightenment, while others go to escape. Evidently, that night, more people were wanting to escape.”

What a clever and informed son I have. I wish he would have spoken up sooner.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Obscene Words Our Kids Can’t Use… Even If We Used To

September 4, 2012 at 11:10 pm , by 

21 months.

You can no longer say the “m-word” on TV.

No, green slime will not fall on your head if you do, but the censors willbleep the word out, even on Comedy Central: It’s “little people” now.

But when I was a kid in the Eighties, there was no chance of being reprimanded or corrected if you used the “m-word.”

Similarly, the “r-word” is dangerous to use as well. I remember back in 2008 when Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder drew controversy and even inspired a petition that was circulated through Facebook encouraging people not to see the movie because of the way it portrayed those with special needs.

It’s wallpapered in our brains as today’s parents of young children to know that one of the worst things to be in our society is a bigot; any type of person who looks down on or makes fun of other people for being different.

(To be honest, I’m actually a tad paranoid to even be covering this topic today for fear of being misunderstood or misquoted as one myself. What if I ironically make myself look like the kind of bully I am speaking against here?)

And that brings us to another especially unacceptable and obscene term; the “f-word.”

No, the other “f-word,” as well as the “q-word.” These days, when one of your friends from high school officially “comes out of the closet” on Facebook in a status update, you can expect to see a flood of “likes” and “hugs” and “You go girl!” comments, definitely not criticism or name-calling.

As if I needed to say it, I’m glad to see these words become demonized. I like knowing our society is reaching such a state of “bullying awareness.”

What I am seeing about our Millennial generation (born from 1980 to 2000) and our concept of vulgarity is that we’re more offended by slurs directed at minorities of every kind in society; as opposed to cursing and cussing in general.

Interestingly, we’re much less offended by the classic extreme offenders, like “g.d.” or “a-hole” or even the original f-word. In fact, it’s not even a big deal anymore to hear those words spoken on cable TV from time to time.

We’ve heard them so many times that I’m wondering if they actually are profane anymore or if we just pretend they are because it’s what we’re used to thinking.

Here’s what I know. I have a responsibility to teach my son what is and is not appropriate to say, largely based on which words I do and do not say.

It’s not up to the rating of a movie or a TV show, or which words the censors bleep out, or even which words that society deems as offensive for whatever reason.

Since a lot of my son’s future vocabulary is indeed up to me, I will guide him and strive to be the example he needs to see and hear.

I will be that person in my son’s life; to teach him not only how not to hurt others with his words, but also, how to build people up with his words, especially to those who need it the most.

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Attempting To Vote For The “Better Christian” For President In 2012

September 1, 2012 at 12:09 am , by 

21 months.

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, then you know that A) I talk about my son a lot and B) I love discussing politics.

This election is epic! Here we are, deciding which man we believe best represents our own code of morality and decision-making.

For me, the most interesting part is regarding the discussions I’m hearing about the religious beliefs of the candidates, particularly from conservative Protestant Republicans.

Up until 3 years ago, before becoming your neighborhood friendly Ron Paul supporter, I was a Republican and I voted that way every four years.

Like many other conservative Protestants I knew, I voted for the Republican candidate, if for no other reason, because he was pro-life.

While I am still very pro-life, my focus is no longer on choosing the “better Christian,” or in other words, the most conservative Christian candidate.

Here’s the irony: Many Protestants don’t consider Mormons to be Christians; some of the biggest reasons being because Christians believe that Jesus is equal to God and that Jesus was physically raised from the dead. (My understanding is that Mormons don’t believe those things.)

In other words, certain Republican Protestants are voting for the “better Christian,” though, by their own definition of what it means to be a Christian, the man they will be voting for is not actually a Christian.

Instead, they’re voting for the man who best represents their particular Christian values.

This is the first election in a long time where Republicans don’t have a Protestant Presidential candidate to stand behind.

(The only Catholic President in American history was JFK, who he was a Democrat.)

What if Mitt Romney was a conservative, pro-life agnostic instead of a Mormon?

How “non-Christian” can a Republican Presidential candidate be and still be backed by the conservative Protestants as the “better Christian” candidate?

Of course, I keep having to put “better Christian” in quotation marks just to be clear that I personally I am not publicly judging their allegiance to Christ; I think if I did, it wouldn’t be very Christian of me.

Similarly, I think it’s unfair to demonize a President just because he’s with the “wrong” political party.

President Obama is not evil. Nor was George W. Bush. They just happened to be the first two Presidents we’ve had since the Internet has been relevant to mainstream America and since blogs have been subconsciously influential to the masses; so these recent Presidents have been much more rapidly criticized.

It can be so natural to call their actions evil when you’re part of the opposing political party. In the process, the whole other political party in that case becomes evil too.

In other words, either half of America is evil; it just depends on which side of the fence you’re not.

Like I said in the beginning, we as a nation, as parents of children whom we are trying to instill our own morals into, are trying to vote for the man we believe best represents our own code of morality and decision-making.

Sure, our own personal religious beliefs should play into that. But at least for conservative Protestant Republicans, it’s not as simple this time around as choosing the “better Christian.”

So, will America choose a Christian or a Mormon for President in 2012?

 

Top images: US Republican and Democrat, via Shutterstock.

Bottom image: Two voodoo dolls, via Shutterstock.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

What If Adults Were Forced To Apologize Like Children Are?

August 28, 2012 at 11:09 pm , by 

21 months.

My wife and I are having to daily remind our son Jack that hitting us is not something he is allowed to do. We offer him an alternative, which is petting us like a dog or cat, instead.

Yeah, I know, it sounds goofy but so far it’s helping him understand the difference between being friendly and being offensive.

Every time he does hit us or bite us, we put him in time-out upstairs in his jail cell, I mean bed, and after we remind him of why he was being punished, we make him apologize to the parent he physically attacked.

“Soddy.”

That’s his version of “I’m sorry” and we always gladly accept it. We force him to apologize to help him realize that he must be held accountable for his actions when he hurts others. It’s important that we lay that foundation now.

However, there is a downside to being taught to apologize to a person when you hurt or offend them: You may grow up to become an adult who believes you can’t forgive someone until they apologize to you first.

Two weeks ago I published “The Difference Between Punishing And Disciplining My Child” which explored the stark difference of how we discipline our children in hopes of making them better people, meanwhile we privately or publicly wish harm upon our enemies.

It’s easier to wish ill upon them, as opposed to honestly wanting them to change their ways.

So today I share with you the sequel to that thought:

What if adults were forced to apologize like children are?

More importantly is this question: Do you personally require offenders to apologize to you before you can allow yourself to forgive them?

Last Friday night on 20/20 I watched the 2 hour Diane Sawyer interview with Jaycee Dugard.

I was humbled by the way Jaycee was able to forgive her captors, recognizing that by becoming bitter and requiring their apology to move on would mean that she is continuing to give them power of her even though she has been freed from her captivity and torture.

Despite all they took from her, she now refuses to allow them to take away anything more. But it took forgiving them to be at that point.

It’s safe to say that the majority of us have never experienced anywhere near the level of hell that Jaycee Dugard did during her 18 years of captivity.

Yet she chose to forgive and finds liberty in it.

Yes, I will continue to force my nearly 2 year-old son to apologize when he bites me on the shoulder like a rabid wolf.

But as he grows older and is able to understand, I will also teach him that being apologized to is not a prerequisite to being able to forgive a person. Apologizing is what good people do once they realize they’ve done something wrong.

So it should be no surprise when bad people don’t apologize.