NYC Bans 16 Ounce Sodas (But Not Two 8 Ounce Sodas!)

September 13, 2012 at 11:48 pm , by 

21 months. 

Here’s how you know if, in your heart, you secretly are a Democrat: You approve of New York City’s ban on “sugary drinks” in containers of 16 ounces or more.

It’s beyond ironic that many of the same people who are pro-choice when it comes to abortion are totally cool with the government restricting the amount of sugar a person puts in their own body.

This ridiculous “soda ban” easily sums up why I’m a Libertarian: I believe in the right to be stupid, as long as it doesn’t hurt other people.

There’s no way around it; drinking soda on a regular (daily or even just weekly) basis, especially in quantities of 16 ounces or more, is a horrible (!) idea.

It’s detrimental to a person’s health. Doing so puts a person on the fast track to Diabetes, if not obesity.

Consider this, even in a just a typical 12 ounce can of cola, you’re consuming about 10 teaspoons of sugar.

I’ll say that again: 10 teaspoons of sugar! 

In fact, as a health nut and vegetarian, if I had to choose between smoking a half a pack of cigarettes a day versus drinking a 16 ounce soda, I would have a very difficult time in deciding which way to wreck my health.

Drinking “sugary drinks” like soda, chocolate milk, sweet tea, and even fruit juice, as compared to actually eating the fruit itself, is not good.

However, regularly drinking sugary drinks and soda is definitely more socially accepted than smoking cigarettes. (That makes it okay, right?)

We’re so culturally aware of the long-term health risks of tobacco use, but when it comes to junk food andprocessed foods, sometimes we need a reminder that it’s more than just that those things “make us get fat.”

Either way, I want to live in country where people have the freedom to make those bad decisions for themselves. Not just in New York City, but in every city.

It shouldn’t be the government’s job to “ban” junk food.

That’s my job:

I choose to ban “sugary drinks” in my own life, and just as important, in my young son’s life as well. I take responsibility for myself and my family.

Sure, I agree that America is experiencing an obesity epidemic and we need to do something about it.

But the “we” I’m referring to is not the government. The “we” is us.

 

For more intriguing pictures showing how much sugar is in drinks and food, go the awesome website they came from:

SugarStacks.com

 

 

 

Why Being An Alabama Football Fan Is Easy (For People Who Like Winning)

September 12, 2012 at 10:31 pm , by 

21 months.

Last week I experienced a huge milestone moment in fatherhood: My son got his first ball!

Well, almost. It was actually his stuffed giraffe toy; but either way, I threw it to him, and he caught it.

This is something I have been practicing with him for months now. Whether it’s a miniature football, soccer ball, tennis ball, or just a cheap inflatable made-in-China ball from the $1.08 bin at Wal-Mart, I throw it to Jack every time we play.

Usually, he just gets hit in the head, or face, or chest, then laughs.

But after throwing all his toy balls at him one right after another, I reached for his toy giraffe, which was the closest toy in reach, and threw it to him like a ball.

And Jack caught it!

I was, and still am, so proud of him. I’m not over it yet. It was as magical as the first time he said “Bye bye Dada.”

Being his athletic mentor is something I’m very excited about.

This past weekend we spent some time in one of the little fenced-in basketball practice courts at our church.

Jack already knew he was supposed to throw the basketball in the hoop as soon as I handed him a ball.

He would run up and stand underneath the net, look up at it, calculate his throw, then throw the ball up at the net.

Granted, the ball only went up in the air about 2 inches each time, but Jack kept trying every time to throw that ball in the hoop.

I admired his heart. It was charming to see.

With all this being said, my family is not actually big into watching sports. However, we know who our team is:

The University of Alabama. Yes, the Crimson Tide.

Sure, I was born and raised in Alabama. Yes, from infancy, my uncle made sure I always had Roll Tide clothing to wear; as he now does with Jack.

But it’s not just because Alabama is my home state or because I was born into a Roll Tide family.

It’s because Alabama is clearly the best college football team.

Sometimes it’s cool to root for the underdog, but when it comes to college football, I’d rather just be a fan of the obvious legendary, champion team instead.

I like how in Jack’s day care center, he and his pal Sophie are the only Alabama fans. (Jack has an Alabama jersey and Sophie has an Alabama cheerleading uniform.

His teachers have (jokingly?) made me aware that they don’t like to see him bring his red cup with the Alabama mascot on it.

They have threatened to replace it with a University of Tennessee one instead.

Could be worse. At least it’s not Auburn.

Matching Father And Son Mohawks: Uber Stylish This Fall Season!

September 12, 2012 at 12:13 am , by 

21 months. 

Yes, my wife approved.

I’m not exactly sure why she did, especially without any hesitation, but needless to say, she now has a mohawked husband and toddler son; for no good reason.

Our ‘hawks go all the way down in the back, to a point. No sissy “faux hawk” stuff here for this father and son duo.

We mean serious business these days.

Jack and I are surely only the first of many to support the matching “soccer mohawk” this fall season:

A 3 guard on the sides blended into about an inch and a half on top.

It’s subtle enough for people at work (yes, I work a “real job” in an office besides writing The Dadabase) to ask: “Wait, do you have a mohawk?

This is usually followed by a 4 second delay, and then:

“Why?”

If that question has a valid answer, it would be that I wanted to have the same kick-awesome haircut as my son.

He and I never keep the same hairstyle as the haircut before, yet we always seem to have the same hairstyle as each other.

A mohawk should be no exception.

Plus, I wanted to spread “Matching Father And Son Mohawk Awareness.”

But instead of making a special ribbon magnet for the car, fathers and sons just have get matching mohawks to prove they mean it in their hearts.

It’s a movement I can get behind.

So much for my son not looking like me. We are now like Spike and Tyke, the father and son bulldog duo from Tom and Jerry.

Okay, fellow dads with a son: Now is your chance to finally have that mohawk you always wanted.

Just send your wife a link to this blog and show her the proof of what is normal and acceptable in the culture of modern American fatherhood.

My wife let Great Clips do this to her husband and son. There is hope for you, my fellow dads.

Fist bump out.

 

Grandfathers Are An Instant Magnet For Toddler Boys

September 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm , by 

21 months.

Labor Day morning we drove 2 hours to Chattanooga to visit my dad’s parents. My grandfather was retiling the shower when we arrived.

All Jack could see was the backside of man in overalls, who was pounding something with a hammer, but he was sold.

Whoever this mystery man was, my son needed to met him.

I didn’t bother explaining that he was my “dada’s dada.” I just let him be enthralled.

We made our way into the living room and Jack barely gave my grandfather time to sit down before Jack was making him play.

As weird as this sounds, my son has never been exposed to a toy sword before. So after finding one in their toy stash, he kept flying the “airplane” all over my grandfather.

It’s pretty easy to get my son to think you’re cool- just be a grandfather.

I have no trouble understanding this attraction. Little boys are adventurous.

And who has seen more adventure than a Korean War veteran with a Purple Heart? Somehow Jack sensed this about my grandfather.

Jack loves grandfathers.

I’ve mentioned before that in some ways, no one seems to understand Jack better than my dad, who he calls Papa. Jack has always been obsessed with my dad.

When I say obsessed, I mean obsessed. Though we live 2 and a half hours from my parents, Jack randomly says “Papa” in the middle of playtime for no apparent reason. Except for maybe that he associates adventure with his Papa.

This past weekend we hung out with Jack’s friend Henry, his parents, and grandparents. There was the train ride with Thomas, then breakfast at First Watch, and lastly we decided to tour the pet store next door.

After exploring several of the aisles with me nonchalantly trailing behind him, Jack saw Henry’s grandfather around the corner.

He lifted his hands up to him and said in his Todfather voice: “Up-eh!”

From there, Henry’s grandfather carried Jack around the store, as Jack pointed to the direction his new chauffeur was to take him.

I guess that’s one of the things that grandfathers are known for in the mind of a toddler boy; getting carried around in the likeness of a parrot on the shoulder of a pirate.

After a few minutes, Henry’s grandfather brought Jack back and sort of whispered like he was telling me a secret:

“When it comes to grandpa’s, boys just seem to know.”

Why It’s Important That Wrestling Is Fake

September 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm , by  21 months. Two Saturday nights ago my wife and I turned on the TV in hopes of a catching a creepy episode of Dateline featuring yet another typical, captivating story where a seemingly normal husband or wife murdered their spouse and tried to cover it up. Instead, we happened to catch the very beginning of Wrestelmania 28, which for some random reason was airing on NBC. And we couldn’t turn it off. We were reeled in by the mini-documentary profiles of both The Rock and John Cena. Before the match began, we were already rooting for John Cena, dressed in his token jean shorts. Yes, professional wrestling is fake. Sorry. No, not every single move is choreographed, but the basics of each match are predetermined, as I assume the wrestlers practice with each other for hours before their televised event. Sure, certain parts of the physical wrestling are real, like slamming each other down on the stage. But if all those “punches” to the face were real, there would obviously be some instant red marks and/or blood to prove it. Why is it important that professional wrestling is fake? Because that’s what draws a crowd. People love exciting entertainment, even when they know it’s over the top and less than realistic. (Ever heard of a show on TLC called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo?) This concept was also part of the story lines to boxing movies like Cinderella Man and Rocky, where the fight planners and promoters acknowledged the need for not only an underdog the people would root for, but also the need for a good long fight. That’s not to say that Mike Tyson biting off Evander Holyfield’s ear wasn’t exciting, but there’s only so many times fighters can bite off their opponent’s body parts before it hurts the integrity of the sport. Therefore, professional wrestling is fake. It’s much safer that way; not only for the well-being of the wrestlers, but also for the faithfulness of the spectators. My 21 month-old son is at least subconsciously aware of this fact, too. On a daily basis, we wrestle in our living room. And every weekend, at the park. He knows I won’t actually hurt him, yet he screams as I straddle him like a hungry lion tearing into a delicious zebra. All of my growling and barking and shouting “Jack, come back here!” as I chase him across the room has to be perceived to him like being in the middle of a WWE wrestling match. Even my toddler knows that wrestling is fake. But that doesn’t make it any less entertaining.