parenting

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Making New Friends As A Married Couple With A Kid

September 18, 2012 at 11:42 pm , by 

22 months.

I don’t know why, but over the past couple of months, my wife and I seem to have been making new friends, in addition to our old ones.

Are we suddenly cooler than we were before?

Maybe it’s because our son is a little bit more independent now, so we can be a little bit more free spirited and outgoing; therefore attracting new people into our lives with a newfound positive energy.

Some of these new friends are like us- married with a kid. That’s natural and it makes sense that we would want to get to know each other better.

But also added to our list of new cell phone contacts are married couples who don’t have kids; or who are even single.

It’s a very interesting process to become friends with someone new at this point in my life; when it doesn’t involve my kid.

I’m sort of rusty on how this “making friends” thing works; especially since now it involves texting and Facebook messages more than it does phone conversations.

There’s like this unintended game of “I’m not stalking you” that you have to play with the person, at first.

They text you first: You get a point.

You send them a Facebook friend request: They get a point.

Basically, you’re trying not to be the one who creeps the other one out.

After a few rounds, if neither of you has weirded the other out, then it’s official: You’re real friends!

I think the most challenging part of making new friends these days is trying to make plans with them via text messages.

The art of discussion is dumbed down to caveman talk to where you can’t really offer up a hang-out plan then decide against it without sounding like a flake.

It’s not like you have the space in the text message to thoroughly explain the cons you instantly realized about the plan you just suggested.

But I’m up for the challenge. If people want to legitimately be my real life friend, whether they have a kid or not, I will do my darndest not to creep them out or be too vague like a hipster.

I would say, “I’ll just be me and if they don’t like it, then they’re not really my friend.”

However, I’ve learned that “be yourself” is the worst advice you can give some people.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Mall Toddlers: My Idea For A Straight-To-DVD Kids Movie

September 17, 2012 at 11:59 pm , by 

22 months.

So maybe the “In Theaters March 2013″ part is just wishful thinking. Hey, I’ll settle for straight-to-DVD.

It’s not easy reuniting your toddler with his two best friends from daycare for weekend plans. You’re dealing with three different napping schedules… enough said.

The plan was for Jack, Henry, and Sophie to hang out at a park playground, but then a random thunderstorm showed up.

By 3:45 on a Sunday afternoon, it was difficult to justify paying to get into one of those indoor playgrounds, knowing we would all just need to get our kids home for dinner after about an hour and a half anyway.

So by default, the mall became our play date destination.

I admit, I really had no expectations on how things would go. I mean, normally, I would have low expectations in regards to meeting fellow parents and their kids at a place I haven’t really tried out myself.

Turns out, it was a good gamble. Our German-looking kids found plenty of activities to keep themselves entertained.

All we had to do was follow them around and keep up with them like a camera crew on any given TLC reality show.

The more we chased them, though, the less necessary I felt. I don’t mean that in a sad way, though.

Instead, I could easily imagine it like some straight-to-DVD movie about three toddlers who take over the mall after hours.

Like all those goofy Air Bud movies, the toddlers would have computer-animated mouths and they would talk like adults.

So it would sort of be like Look Who’s Talking meets Air Bud if Air Bud revolved around toddlers instead of athletic dogs.

I suppose the plot line would involve a kooky Croatian villain named Mr. Stincovic who coincidentally happens to sneak into the mall at the same time in order to sabotage Santa’s upcoming visit the next day, by bringing in potato sacks full of skunks.

Does that sound lame enough for a straight-to-DVD kids movie? It doesn’t take much.

In the likeness of Home Alone, the three toddlers would use the mall itself to torture Mr. Stincovic with booby trapped obstacles:

They would pour out Dippin’ Dots in a trail leading from the food court to the carousel, which happens to be running at all times, unmanned.

Once Mr. Stincovic, who goes by “Mr. Stinky” for short,as if the pun wasn’t obvious enough for 4 year-old viewers, lands conveniently on the carousel horse, Henry would pull the lever from “slow” to “turbo power,” causing Mr. Stinky to fly up into the rafters.

There, Mr. Stinky is pestered by a dozen remote controlled mini-helicopters until either A) the police arrive or B) he decides not to sabotage Santa’s visit, but instead becomes an elf, as Mr. Stinky learns the true meaning of Christmas.

So yeah, that’s pretty much what Mall Toddlers would consist of. You would be able to find it the very bottom selection of DVD’s on the Redbox panel screen.

Or instead of waiting for the anticipated world-wide release of Mall Toddlers, you could just check out some more pictures of when Jack, Henry, and Sophie took over the mall. Click here to check them out on The Dadabase‘s Facebook wall.

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Planes, Trains and Automobiles… And Pooping

September 16, 2012 at 6:58 pm , by 

22 months.

If you ever fly into Nashville, you will see our house as you are landing; just look out the window, down on your left side.

Anytime I am outside with my son Jack on a walk, he looks up at the sky about every 15 minutes and proclaims, “Airplane. Airplane.”

So I guess for his sake, it’s pretty cool that we happen to live along the landing path of all planes heading to the Nashville airport.

Jack is also intrigued by trains, as I suspect most nearly 2 year-olds boys are. He can’t go anywhere without a Thomas the Train character in his hand.

Therefore, it’s no surprise that for his birthday (exactly 2 months from today) Jack will be a train conductor.

And when it comes to automobiles of any kind, Jack just can’t get enough. He even distinguishes between “big cars” and “baby cars,” whatever exactly that means.

Jack recently confirmed with us that for his first car when he turns 16, he wants a pick-up truck.

So in review, what is my toddler son into these days? Planes, trains, and automobiles.

Oh yeah, and pooping, too.

Last week during bath time as Jack was sprawled out in his Superman position, he looked up at my wife and said, “Butt? Butt.”

“Do you have to use the potty, Jack?” My wife propped him up on the toilet while embracing him.

He strained. He concentrated. But nothing happened.

Even still, he reached over, grabbed some toilet paper, and pretended to use it the right way.

I soon would learn that Jack has been observing another boy at his daycare, Troy, who is being potty trained in the 2 year-old class.

Pooping is not something that Jack is ashamed of. To him, it’s like learning to eat with a fork. It’s nothing special, it’s just the next part of growing up.

So every time Jack stops what he’s doing to say “poop?” or “butt?” we’re going to take him seriously.

We’ll take him straight to the potty and he’ll get a chance to go like a big boy.

One day when we least expect it, it will happen for real.

But it won’t be any big deal to Jack. The way he sees it, poop happens.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

5 Reasons To Play Chess With Your Child

September 15, 2012 at 11:48 pm , by 

21 months.

I predict that the classic game of chess is about to get real relevant in American pop culture, especially for children.

The book Microtrends explains that as a norm is established in modern society, a complimentary archaic version of that trend begins to surface to counter it.

Some of us, who don’t have nor want Internet on our phones, want to further unplug our lives from all the collective over-stimulation.

Therefore, chess is officially becoming cool. And it’s perfect for kids, despite any preconceived ideas you might have about it being as difficult as a child having to memorize their multiplication tables.

I can’t play Angry Birds nor can I tweet about a boring day at any given moment because I’m part of the counterculture of Generation Y that doesn’t have Internet on my phone, but I can find organic entertainment by pulling out my chess set with someone who is cool enough to play it with me.

It used to be that chess was a game for nerds and Russians, thanks to that “lucky beret” episode ofSaved By The Bell from 1991 entitled “Check Your Mate.”

Well, look at me: I’m not a nerd and I’m definitely not Russian. So let me tell you my 5 reasons to play chess with your child. Chess promotes the following:

1. Uninterrupted quality time: Turn off the TV. Put your phone on silent. Make a chess date with your child. The game of chess has been around for centuries, and once you begin to play it, you catch a sense of simpler, yet still challenging times. Playing chess with your child gives you legitimate and yet nonchalant excuse to make time for your child.

2. Good conversations and laughter. I promise, chess leads to interesting conversations as well as unsuspecting humor. The game causes a person to interact with another human being in an activity with endless possibilities of how the winner will win, unlike many “roll the dice because it’s really just about chance anyway” types of predictable board games.

3. Problem-solving skills. A Kindergartner can definitely learn how to play chess and have fun doing it. I think the key to making this happen is just a willing parent inviting a child to play.

The game of chess forces its players to multi-task, plan ahead, and making real-time executive decisions. Chess disciplines the mind, which I say is ideal for children, as they are constantly yearning for fun new ways to be challenged..

4. Cheap, easy entertainment. Depending on whether the chess pieces are made from plastic, glass, or wood, you’ll probably spend somewhere from 9 to 30 bucks on a decent set. That’s not bad at all considering the monthly prices of satellite TV, which in the process of entertaining a family, often mutes out real communication between its members.

5.  Healthy, addicting habit. The best kind of habit you can help create for your child is one that encourages a bond between the two of you. Whether you’re a mom or a dad and whether your child is a boy or a girl, I believe that if you play a nightly or weekly game of chess with them, your kid will feel pretty darn special.

My own son isn’t even 2 years-old yet, so I still have a couple of years before chess can become “our thing” together. But for those parents whose kid is a little bit older, I invite you to take the “chess challenge.”

Become your child’s chess partner and see what grows of it. And remember, chess isn’t for nerds anymore! It’s for cool parents and cool kids.

Top image: Boy looking at a piece of chess, via Shutterstock.

Bottom image: Father and son playing chess, via Shutterstock.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Why Chess Is Good For Boys Who Like Violent Shooter Video Games

September 15, 2012 at 11:35 pm , by 

21 months.

Back in April, I chose to become involved in a “Big Brother” type of program called Men Of Valor; a program to mentor children whose fathers are incarcerated.

I was matched with a 15 year-old boy who was known for keeping to himself and playing “shoot-’em-up” video games online.

For those first couple of one-on-one meetings I had with him, I really didn’t know what to do.

But then he told me he was considering becoming a sniper in the military.

Coincidentally, I had just finished a book called MicroTrends, which had a chapter called “Aspiring Snipers,” explaining how the the popularity of shooter games like Halo and Call of Duty have spiked a trend in high school boys surveyed, saying that they are interested in becoming US military snipers when they graduate high school.

I racked my brain on how I could use his interest in shooter games and his inspiration to become a US military sniper as ways for us two to get to know each other better.

Then I thought back to a classic game in which I have been looking for a good partner for years: Chess!

In chess, you can use pieces like the queen, the bishop, and the rook to “snipe” the other player from the other side of the board.

Essentially, those pieces are best used after you have distracted your opponent with a threat on one side of the chess board, then in the likeness of a sniper, you slide in from the other side and take out one of the player’s pieces.

I began thinking, “Aspiring snipersshould play chess.” I’m now convinced that chess is indeed the most archaic version of today’s online shooter games.

So every other Thursday, I pick him up to take him out for a Frappuccino at Starbucks and we play our 3 chess matches.

It took him about 7 or 8 chess matches to finally beat me for the first time. Like I told him, I wasn’t going to let him win nor would I go easy on him at all.

But as of our last meeting a few days ago, it was the first time in 3 matches that I finally beat him again.

That’s right. He’s a well-matched chess partner for me now.

As of our last meeting, he mentioned to me that he may be interested in going to college to be a History Major, or maybe even an English Major like I was.

But whether he ends up fighting for our country in the military, or becoming a historian or a teacher, I’m here to support him; and I say, it all began with a classic game of chess.

I now invite you to read my instant sequel to this article, 5 Reasons To Play Chess With Your Child.

 

Top image: Two knights face to face on chessboard, via Shutterstock.

Bottom image: Chess coffee, via Shutterstock.