My Toddler Son, The Pony Whisperer/Natural Laxative

October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm , by 

22 months.

Jack loves animals, especially horses; so when he saw the chance to ride a pony for 5 bucks while at Lucky Ladd Farms this past weekend, he had me pony up the cash.

His gal pal Sophie Culpepper eagerly decided to join him too.

Fortunately, it actually went well!

Jack didn’t even try to get off his pony until it was the end of the ride anyway.

However, my son evidently does have the ability to speak to horses; in particular, he was able to put his pony at such ease that it relieved itself right there in the middle of the ride.

Jack’s horse created a half time show, in other words.

I love how the next day in the car ride back from his day care, Jack randomly started saying, with a dead pan delivery:

“Horse poop. Horse poop.”

An observer in this case might think my son suffers from Coprolalia, an occasional trait of Tourette syndrome, where a person swears involuntarily.

But no, that’s just Jack having flashbacks of good memories of the weekend.

Apparently, the first thing that came to mind was when the ride had to come to a quick intermission, thanks to Jack’s natural effect on the pony.

So yes, I’m happy my son had the opportunity to ride his first pony, but I  think it’s safe to say that all he and I will really remember about it was the horse taking a… load off.

 

The Obligatory Facebook Picture Of Your Kid With A Pumpkin

October 11, 2012 at 12:05 am , by 

22 months.

Explaining to your toddler why you’ve taken him to go pick out a pumpkin is like trying to rationalize why the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz dissolves when you throw a bucket of water on her.

(After all, what about humidity in the air? What does she drink? It bothers me that no one questions this!)

In other words, if you could rationalize it, then it would just be boring.

This past weekend we took our son Jack to Lucky Ladd Farms, a glorified pumpkin patch about a 30 minute drive from Nashville, along with my parents, Sophie’s family and Henry’s family.

I loved observing Jack and his pals as they pondered why we, the parents, were leading them to a bunch of weird orange balls with handles, encouraging them to pick their favorite to take home.

Jack picked one out, swinging it by its convenient handle, and there it flew, straight into a tree.

In that moment, the 1990s grunge band The Smashing Pumpkins suddenly seemed to have less of a random name than ever before.

Fortunately, the pumpkin stayed intact and I was able to take several taken pictures of my son with it for my obligatory facebook picture.

I’m assuming I don’t need to explain the inevitable autumn trend, as parents will be uploading a picture of their kid standing in a pumpkin patch or holding a pumpkin.

It’s kind of like a status symbol as a parent.

And unless we end up actually carving the pumpkin, or at least painting it, which I have a feeling we won’t, the pumpkin will end up eventually slowly rotting on Jack’s bathroom counter.

Have you posted your obligatory Facebook picture of your kid with a pumpkin? If not, you better give in to the pressure and head on over to a pumpkin patch this weekend!

If you would like to see more pictures of Jack and his friends at the pumpkin patch, I cordially invite you to visit The Dadabase’s Facebook page.

While there, you can check out the picture folder named Lucky Ladd Farms Pumpkin Patch, where you can catch a sneak peak of potential Dadabasematerial I am sure to write about in the near future.

 

Dear Jack: The Transition From The Dadabase To Family Friendly Daddy Blog

3 years, 7 months.

Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Dear Jack,

Well, it’s been a week since I finally revealed to you that for the past 3 years, I had been the officially daddy blogger of Parents.com.

I wanted to make sure that in the midst of enlarging my blogging territory by sharing new parenting infographics, reviewing cars, and writing about life as a plant-based family here on Family Friendly Daddy Blog, that I don’t neglect continuing my letters to you.

(To differentiate my letters to you from my other posts, I will be including “Dear Jack” in the title of them.)

Because to me, that’s the heart of what I do as a daddy blogger. In other words, you personally are the heart of what I do as a writer.

Right now I’m halfway through transferring my thousand Dadabase posts over to Family Friendly Daddy Blog.

Sure, I could Google some easy way to transfer it all over at once, but somehow that’s not tempting to me.

Evidently, it’s therapeutic for me to be forced to read through every single one of my thousand or so daddy blog posts for the past 3 years, remembering the stories our family has lived through; making us who we are today.

Seriously…

Go back to the year 2012 and see how horribly cheesy (!) I was back then. I really must have thought I was some cool 80s game show host or something.

The clothes, the hair, the corny catch-phrases.

But I understand, that’s how life is: I had to live through these experiences to become who I am today.

Looking back, it’s like I had to play this character I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable playing, but I only thought I felt comfortable at the time.

However, now, I truly am comfortable in my life’s roles.

It took 3 years of writing for Parents.com to graduate to this version of myself. I’m grateful Parents.com put up with a cornball like me for 3 years!

As for where we are now, I feel good.

I feel this change to Family Friendly Daddy Blog was important for us. The timing is right.

I’m just as curious as you are to see where this takes us, but I know this- wherever we go, we’re going to have a great time together.

Love,

Daddy

My Life Is Currently A Thomas The Train Wreck

October 9, 2012 at 10:18 pm , by 

22 months.

“Whoo-whoo. Whoo-whoo. Crash!”

That’s Jack’s understanding of what trains are supposed to do, thanks to his current obsession, Thomas & Friends.

It’s the first TV show that he will watch for more than 3 minutes at a time.

I have to admit—it took some getting used to: It’s a weird format consisting of puppetry and storytelling, perfectly narrated by Alec Baldwin, of all people.

As an American, it become obvious to me from the beginning that Thomas & Friends is based off of a British book series.

The first thing that gave it away was how it seems that in every episode one of the trains gets “cross” with another, puffing away perturbed. (Though he eventually apologizes for his uncivilized behavior.)

I also laughed out loud one time when Alec Baldwin, who gives voice to all the different characters, including the rare female ones, told two of the other trains, “Stop gossiping!”

In modern American culture, for one man to tell two other men to stop gossiping would be like calling them girls, to put it mildly.

So this is basically my impression of my son’s new favorite TV show: Every episode consists of trains getting “cross” at each other about the loads they are hauling and then gossiping with each other, or one of the trains gets too prideful and crashes off a cliff. Then apologizes to Sir Topham Hatt about it.

And that explains why when Jack plays with his Sir Handel and Percy trains, he says, “Whoo-whoo. Whoo-whoo. Crash!”

I dig it, though. I do.

In fact, maybe I dig it a little too much:

These days I’m a tad bit distracted thinking about Jack’s die cast metal Thomas the Train collection; the ones designed for the Take-n-Play sets. For his 2nd birthday next month, we bought him a Rumbling Gold Mine set, which comes with the actual Thomas train.

So that means Jack will have Sir Handel, Percy, and Thomas. But now Jack’s favorite character seems to be the ever-so-moody Gordon.

Plus, there’s a character called Jack. How can I not get him Jack?

Not to mention, Jack is enthralled by fire trucks, and there is character called Flynn, who is a fire truck.

I care way too much about my son’s growing die cast metal Thomas & Friends collection.

This weekend I asked him, “Jack, do you want Harold the Helicopter?”

He instantly replied, “No.”

Bummer. For me.

With that being said, it should be no surprise that my wife and I have the same ring tone for when we call each other. You guessed it:

The theme song to Thomas & Friends.

Yes, we really are that cool.

(My wife even made a “practice birthday cake” in the form of a train this past weekend. When you look at it upside down, it sort of looks like a bear.)

Without a doubt, Jack’s birthday will be saturated in the Thomas & Friends theme.

Good thing he’s a boy. It seems like there’s no cool girl equivalent to Thomas the Train.

At least, there’s not one quite as obsessive.

Giving Deliberate “I’m Married” Vibes, As Necessary