You only want your clothes to be changed laying down, which puts you in the perfect position to bicycle-kick whoever is trying to get you dressed. It’s better that I am the who takes the collateral damage from you.
So now I am officially your wardrobe assistant/technician.
While the Twitter hashtag #aintnobodygottimeforthat officially peaked last summer, the “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That (Autotune Remix)” on YouTube serves as the mental soundtrack as I get you dressed now.
You and I are both thinking, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” You’re thinking it because you evidently see getting dressed as an unnecessary hassle; or even worse, a form of punishment.
I’m thinking it because I don’t have time to struggle with you over it.
There seems to be no obvious solution to you not wanting to get dressed. I don’t know; maybe it was better in Biblical days when everyone evidently just wore robes all the time.
Actually, I think you could totally pull off rockin’ the Kid Icarus look. So, uh, Jack… what do ya say?
That’s one of those things I have to file in the “whatever works” category.
Or, to translate that into the language of Twitter:
#whateverworks
It goes without saying that as a parent, “whatever works” is a catchphrase that I seem to mumble on a daily basis.
In addition to having to change the seating arrangements for our family car rides, we have also had to change our morning routine.
Mommy arranged it with her boss to show up 15 minutes early for work and leave 15 minutes early, too.
This way, Mommy leaves the house 15 minutes before we do, because here recently you put up less of a fight if I’m the one who gets you ready.
It may have something to do with what I just mentioned a minute ago; that I am not the nurturer so you have lower expectations with me. So Mommy and I use that to our advantage.
Our new morning routine also allows more quality time with you and Mommy; the two of you share breakfast together while I shower and get ready.
Since making this our new norm, we no longer leave the house stressed or in a hurry. That’s all it took; we just couldn’t all three leave at the same time.
We are so focused on finding ways to improve quality time together as a family. Sometimes, we have recognized that by assigning certain daily activities to one particular parent, it can improve quality time for two of us at a time.
It’s sort of like working the “3rd wheel” concept to our advantage. Our model is this: Two wheels in the back and one in the front.
As a family, we often have to move and work like a tricycle.
I don’t know whether it’s from the Vacation movies with the Griswolds, or maybe just a combination of every 80′s sitcom I grew up watching, but in my mind it’s the dad’s job to emphasize what it means to be a [enter last name here].
To illustrate, I’ll just use Growing Pains as an example here. I can easily imagine Jason Seaver telling Ben, “We Seavers are not quitters!”
Every once in a while you like to play with the seashells we collected from our trip to Naples, FL in December 2011.
You pour them out of the plastic cup we keep them in, then examine them one by one on the carpet.
I always think, “Jack, do you realize you are playing with our last name right now?”
Knowing it would just confuse you at this point to try to explain to you that our last name is Shell and what a last name even is, I just let you enjoy your playtime.
But I have been pondering what it means to be a Shell.
Unless you ever have a baby brother, you are basically the last male Shell in our family to carry on the name, since I was the only one until you got here.
Essentially, I figure so much of what it means to be a Shell has to do with the household culture that Mommy and I are raising you in.
I would definitely say in order to be Shell, you have to be a bit on the quirky side; never apologizing for being different, never being tempted to follow the crowd.
Work ethic is huge to our identity. We like to be known for working hard, being proactive, and thinking creatively.
When it comes to politics, we are conservative, yet open-minded and open-armed to different cultures.
In regards to financial decisions, we are as shrewd as my Italian grandfather who grew up in an orphanage during the 1930′s. (The day we pay for a smart phone or cable TV is the day they give it to us for free!)
Shells are deep thinkers, always curious of where stuff comes from and how it got here.
To us, God is not simply the third word of OMG, but the one we try to please everyday in the way we treat others.
You are a Shell. You’re one of us. You are destined to encompass the best and worst of our family’s micro-culture.
However, in regards to the importance that individuality plays in our family, I recognize that despite the way that Mommy and I will inevitably “brainwash” you in our weird ways as we raise you, still you have free will to make your own decisions and form your own opinions; especially the older you get.
So while you are one of us no matter what, you’re still you. And I like the micro-culture you bring to our family. After all, I write a letter to you about it everyday.
As I reached for the shower curtain and a towel to dry myself off this morning, there you were with Mommy, waiting for me to realize I had visitors. You had a sneaky look on your face.
“Hi Jill!” you proudly greeted me.
Right name, wrong parent.
We felt you were old enough to know that Mommy and Daddy have other names, or as we call them: first names.
The problem is, you think my name is Jill and that Mommy’s name is Nick.
That’s okay. You’ll get it eventually. I don’t think it’s a bad idea for you to know our first names.
What if you get lost in a store? How will you tell someone who your parents are? We figured it wouldn’t hurt to teach you our “real names” for such an unfortunate event.
Until now, I had never thought about what age is appropriate to teach you our names other than Mommy and Daddy. For all I know, maybe it’s too soon.
I wondered at first if this was a recipe for disaster since you might start mainly calling us by our first names. However, I don’t think that will be a problem. You laugh every time you say our first names; as if they are our “funny names.”
As for the next name I shall teach you, what about our last name? Shouldn’t you know that too if you get separated from us somewhere in public? Fortunately for you, it’s an easy one: Shell.
One syllable names like Jack, Jill, Nick, and Shell definitely serve as an advantage to you, as a 2 year-old. You just happened to be born into a family with easy-to-say and easy-to-spell names.
As for your Croatian and Norwegian ancestors on Mommy’s side of the family, they probably had a more difficult time with this.
Just imagine, at best your name would have been something like… Ivan Ljùštura.
Since The Lorax appeared on Netflix Instant last month, our family has watched it enough times that you now request Mommy and I to sing the Thneedville song as your nightly lullaby.
Needless to say, it is currently our family’s favorite movie!
Granted, The Lorax movie is based on the 1971 Dr. Seuss book.
You should note that when talking about a movie based on a book, the cliche response you’re supposed to give is, “The book was so much better than the movie!”
To be honest, I’m a visual person, so I pretty much always prefer the movie over the book.
Unsurprisingly, I prefer the 2012 movie version of The Lorax over the 1971 book version it is based on. However, my reason isn’t simply because of the impressive 3-D animation. A lot of it is just that I prefer comedy over tragedy…
I had an art professor in college who explained the difference between tragedy and comedy this way:
In a tragedy, the beloved main character is removed or rejected from his society. In a comedy, an outcast is accepted by his society and becomes the beloved main character.
By that definition, the book version of The Lorax by Dr. Seuss is a tragedy.
The story ends with the Lorax literally kicking himself out of the city, after the Once-ler and his family cut down all the Truffula trees and all the sick and dying animals are forced to migrate elsewhere.
But in the movie version, the Lorax returns because the Once-ler shares the last Truffula seed with a boy named Ted, who decides to plant it in the middle of the city. Therefore, the movie is a comedy.
If the exact story line of the book version were simply stretched out into a 90 minute format, that would be one dark and depressing kids’ movie.
So instead, the movie version of The Lorax basically serves as the sequel to the book, with the original story line intertwined as a sort of dual plot.
The movie begins a couple of generations after where the book leaves off, with this hilarious over-the-top musical intro; which again, is the lullaby you request each night:
It’s interesting to me that the people of Thneedville are very happy to live in their plastic version of reality, where there are no living trees or plants. The city is essentially owned by a zillionaire named Aloysius O’Hare, who sells them fresh air; which they seem to be grateful for.
Whereas the book was a warning against the depletion of natural resources and the pollution of our environment, the movie focuses more on the bizarre aftermath, which is consumerism based on convenience over what is natural and healthy.
Though it’s probably easily overlooked, I think this is one of the most interesting and subtle lines of theThneedville song:
“We thank the Lord for all we’ve got, including this brand-new parking lot!”
The people of Thneedville are dependent on resources which are manufactured and processed, while they seem oblivious to and far-removed from the natural resources that God provided for them in the first place… which are actually located outside of their city, like plants that produce fresh air.
That’s not to say parking lots are evil, but the movie is clearly a parable of modern day America; especially in regards to not questioning where our products come from.
To think, there are now clever mainstream food brands likeChobani and Annie’s Homegrown which are making it clear to the consumer on their labeling that their products contain only natural ingredients; no artificial colors or flavors derived from animal bi-products or petroleum.Little Remedies is the same way with their children’s medicine.
It’s a mix between sad and funny that it’s so normal for me to expect products to be fake now, unless otherwise labeled so.
I feel that ultimately, The Lorax movie challenges viewers to decide for themselves if and how they are being represented as residents of Thneedville.
The movie is not simply about “going green” or saving trees. Its message is focused on returning to a version of life that is based on what is real, natural, and non-toxic.
Thneedville’s citizens had to decide whether to allow the last Truffula seed to be planted or to keep depending on having to buy fresh air.
Turns out, that’s a decision we have to make for ourselves everyday, in some form or another.
