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A Matching Father And Son White Fedoras Kind Of Day

June 15, 2013 at 8:22 pm , by 

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

Last Friday, like most uber masculine dads in America, I randomly felt compelled to wear my hot pink pants and white leather dress shoes to work.

And it should go without saying that you can’t be caught wearing hot pink Polo pants from the clearance rack at TJ Maxx without sporting an equally 1985-esque white fedora.

Well, one thing led to another, and sure enough, you wouldn’t let me leave the house that morning without running upstairs to grab your white fedora to match Daddy.

I should have known that when a father and son leave the house wearing matching white fedoras, something magical is bound to happen.

It has been our tradition that on Friday afternoons, I take a late lunch break, waiting until you’ve woken up from your nap, to pick you up from daycare and take you somewhere adventurous, like the nearby park.

However, this particular Friday, a guy in the office next to mine won some kind of contest where he had the Budweiser Clydesdales deliver him two cases of beer.

Interestingly enough, this happened right as it was time to pick you up. So instead of going to the park, I took you back to my office to see the giant horsies.

Granted, I had already changed out of my Miami Vice costume into my work-out clothes (a classy Smurfs t-shirt and an oversized pair of faded cargo shorts from 25 pounds ago) and in hindsight, I see that you may have been wearing your fedora backwards the whole time, but hey, we got our pictures made with the Clydesdales!

We even got the meet the Budweiser Dalmatian.

So lesson learned. Whenever your Daddy feels like being random and wearing hot pink pants and a white fedora, just roll with it.

Because something cool is surely about to happen…

 

Love,

Daddy

 

 

 

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The Thought Of You Not Being Here Anymore

June 15, 2013 at 2:42 pm , by 

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

This week after uploading the most recent content from my digital camera to my flash drive, then editing those files, then deleting all those pictures and videos on the camera immediately afterwards, I experienced a dose of panic and anxiety I haven’t known since maybe 7th grade.

I could not find the video of you riding your fire truck you made of pillows!

Mommy and I were so proud of your performance, yet it was nowhere to be found.

How would I tell Mommy what I did? Should I just not bring it up until she asked about it?

I always feared this happening; deleting one of your pictures or videos before actually saving it.

After searching for 20 minutes in a state of constricted breathing and a gnarly adrenaline rush, I realized that the thumbnail for the video was not the one I was looking for.

In other words, I had not deleted your prized fire fighter performance. And of course, now it’s safely saved and featured on YouTube.

I don’t know, maybe that video clip isn’t really all that funny or cute to the whole world, but to Mommy and me, it’s priceless.

To think had I actually deleted that file, the very best thing I could have done was try to get you to re-create what you did in the video that day, but I could never actually access the original again.

Subconsciously, my mind started to process the thought of actually losing you; not simply just that video of you.

My subconscious, I’m convinced, is much more aware of deep emotional hurt and sadness than the conscious part of my brain. The door of that room inside my head was unlocked and I began to catch a glimpse of hell.

I began feeling this heaviness and emptiness that I couldn’t even begin to understand.

In that moment, I felt so alone and lost and exiled.

It felt like I lost you.

I never want to feel that way again.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

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2 And A Half Year-Old Fails Driver’s Test

June 13, 2013 at 9:57 pm , by 

2 years, 6 month.

Dear Jack,

I’m sorry to break it to you, but it will still be another 13 years or so before you are able to get your driver’s license.

Mommy and I decided to test you early for your driver’s license, using a fire truck you built out of couch pillows while we were making dinner.

The part of the test you did extremely well on was part where you prepared to drive.

You very meticulously (and cheerfully) put on your seat belt.

However, you didn’t do so hot once you started up the fire truck: You pretty much immediately crashed.

All that safety preparation for nothing… Well, no, actually it balanced things out I guess. I’ll let you decided for yourself- here’s a video  clip of the event:

I’m still trying to figure out why you had to “start the fire” at the back of the truck before buckling yourself in.

Two theories:

Either you A) were starting a fire on the fire truck itself so you could put it out with itself or B) you were starting the fire truck, which for some reason the ignition was at the back of the vehicle.

Another thing I’m confused about is why you named your toy fire truck “Mater” and why you had to go get him to help you after you evidently crashed your pillow fire truck in the garage.

I am seeking logical answers, please.

Love,

Daddy

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What Your Father’s Day Card Reveals About You

June 12, 2013 at 10:46 pm , by 

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

As I picked out my own dad’s Father’s Day card today, I noticed how they are designed for all the major types of dads. For example, there’s…

The Serious/Sentimental Dad– His card features a sophisticated black and white photo of dad and child.

As well as…

The Funny Dad– Expect a witty cartoon, a humorous photo, or some kind of lighthearted joke on his card.

And similarly…

The Fart Joke Dad– Like The Funny Dad, but specifically capitalizing on flatulence.

But don’ forget about…

The $1.99 Dad– This card tends to feature more generic language, steering away from words of affection like “dad” and “love.”

And of course…

The $.99 Dad– Here’s to one step away from not sending a card at all.

Yes, no kidding: At Kroger, they have both a$1.99 section as well as the $.99 section in the Father’s Day area.

It’s an interesting thought- that kids and adult children have to subconsciously figure out whether they have a serious/sentimental dad, or a fart joke dad, or a $1.99 dad.

I wonder if it changes throughout the years based on the child’s age.

For example, I could totally see you getting me a fart joke Father’s Day card when you’re 10 years old.

It sort of reminds me of an article I read onYahoo! Finance called “What You ‘Like’ On Facebook Can Be Revealing.”

For example, in theory, because of the fact I “like” Non-GMO Project, Occupy Monsanto, Julie Borowski, Ron Paul, Parents Magazine, and Bruce Springsteen on Facebook, I am evidently making it somewhat obvious that I’m a a socially liberal, fiscally conservative, vegan dad who has accidentally caused his 2 and a half year-old son to now get upset in his car seat if he doesn’t get to listen to Bruce Springsteen’s Greatest Hits album on the way to school in the morning.

To me, a Father’s Day card is just as indirectly telling of what kind of dad one is perceived to be, at least in that moment, that year by their child.

I will never look at Father’s Day cards the same…

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Top photo: Night Drive Long Exposure, via Shutterstock.

Bottom photo: Knocked Out, via Shutterstock.

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Reminder About Father’s Day Weekend 2013

June 11, 2013 at 10:10 pm , by 

Dear Jack,

It’s always cool to be a dad, but this week is prime time! The Father’s Day cards and gifts have been bought and it seems the Internet is a bit more abundant in “dad stuff” this week. I’ll share a few examples of what I am seeing…

Here’s a funny music video about poppin’ bottles; the song totally gets stuck in my head when I watch it:

And there’s this classy commercial Sears put out about dads being heroes, which I definitely approve of:

“He’s just super, ’cause he’s my dad.”

I like this guy’s comment on the video on YouTube, which itself earned 67 thumbs up:

Matt Young 2 weeks ago

“I’m surprised. Typically, the media picks on men and fathers.”

And then, of course, there’s this blog post, called “24 People Who Are Really Nailing This Parenting Thing.” It’s hilarious! From the dad who “helps” his daughter on the swing while drinking a beer…

via: img1.xhkong.com

To the dad who does his best to protect his daughter…

via: reddit.com

To the dad who evidently dresses in costume every day as he waves goodbye to his son…

via: pleated-jeans.com

I feel like in the past 3 years as I’ve been “daddy blogging,” I’m starting to noitice that I’m spending less time writing about examples of how dads are portrayed as idiots in media, and instead, spending more time spotlighting the examples of dads being celebrated instead.

That’s really exciting for me to see.

Sure, some of these examples I’ve shown today are lighthearted and show the dads poking fun of themselves, but that’s part of the celebration.

Fortunately, it’s becoming taboo for companies to portray the dad as a goofball. But it goes back to the concept that it’s better to make the crowd laugh yourself than to have them laugh at you at your expense thanks to someone else.

I definitely don’t mind laughing at myself. After all, it’s in my wiring to want to make people laugh… I’m a guy!

For the rest of this week, dads will officially be publicly celebrated. But in many households, dads are celebrated more than one special week a year.

 

Love,

Daddy

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