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Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

I Am The Childless Creepy Guy In The Men’s Restroom

June 11, 2013 at 8:20 pm , by 

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

Over the weekend Mommy and I took you to the pool, just in time for the weather to turn overcast, therefore demotivating us from our desire earlier that morning to want to go swimming in the first place.

Being a guy who drinks a minimum of 3 liters of water a day, I naturally had to disappear for a minute or so, soon after we arrived,  as Mommy helped you get your feet acquainted with the cold water in the kiddie pool.

As I made my way to the men’s restroom, I saw a woman standing in the doorway.

Actually, “standing” is not a good word to use. “Anxiously pacing, rocking back and forth, biting her fingernails” would be the way I would like to describe it; because that’s clearly how I remember her.

Turns out I was only steps behind the woman’s 11 year-old son as he walked into the restroom. I’ve been in a similar situation before, so I braced myself for the 90 seconds of awkwardness that was about to unfold.

Right in the middle of the boy trying to do his thing, in the stall next to me, I heard the mom yell (and I meanyell) into the restroom:

“Ethan? Ethan! Are you okay in there? Ethan?”

Of course, in his embarrassment, he delayed answering right away.

So again, his mother screamed, “Ethan? How is everything? Are you okay in there?”

This time he managed to murmur a “yeah” just loud enough for her to hear.

The boy and I were in perfect syncopation. As we washed our hands side by side at the sinks, I wanted to say, “Hey man, sorry about what’s going on right now. I know you feel embarrassed by what’s going on. Plus, I know you know I’m just a regular guy, not a creep. In fact, I have a wife and a 2 and a half-year old son just down the hall. I want out of this situation just as much as you do.”

But I didn’t say a word or even look at him.

It was a long 90 seconds, but it finally came to an end as both the boy and I left the restroom at the same time, with the boy’s mother waiting for us there at the door with a very worried look on her face.

This story isn’t about the mom who I am making out to be a wee bit overprotective, or the 11 year-old son who I am making out the be the embarrassed victim of that wee overprotective mom.

Instead, this story is about me; the random guy who just happened to walk into the restroom the same exact time as that boy.

The way I see it, there’s nothing I could have done or said differently to the boy or his mom to help the situation; that would have only made it worse.

So I guess what I am saying is, sometimes as a grown-man entering a public restroom without his own son in tow, I just have to  be okay with certain assumptions being made about me.

In other words, sometimes I just have to let 90 seconds of awkwardness happen, like they did just a few weeks ago at the city park.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Photo: Men’s Restroom Sign on Black, via Shutterstock.

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

The More You Accept My No, The More I Say Yes

June 6, 2013 at 11:03 pm , by 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

The “Just Checking” Cheerios Ad, Minus The Racist Trolls

June 5, 2013 at 10:11 pm , by 

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

A lot of buzz has been going on over the past week or so about the “Just Checking” Cheerios Ad.

On May 28th, Cheerios released an awesome 30 second ad on YouTube; I’ll get to the awesomeness of it here in a minute.

First, I have to teach you about what are called “Internet trolls.”

I really like Wikipedia’s definition of them:

“In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is someone who posts inflammatory,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[3]“

So, Internet trolls laced the comments section of the Cheerios ad with hateful messages of racism.

As you’re about to see in the ad, a biracial family is featured. The Internet trolls used this as a target to upset people… and unfortunately, they were very successful.

They were so successful that the comments on the ad have since been deleted. Plus, no one can leave a comment on the ad anymore, because of the Internet trolls’ success of basically making it seem like America is full of outspoken racists.

I choose to believe that while America can be awkward about differences in race, as I know I tend to be because I fear asking questions about other races and cultures, because I might seem uninformed, unexposed, and accidentally racist, I just don’t think there are not truly enough outright racists in our nation to shut down the comments section on a Cheerios ad that features a biracial family.

(Also, see To Be Colorblind, Racially Speaking…)

But I do believe that America has enough select sick people to cause a riot on the Internet. They knew the masses would be angered. They knew that the overwhelming majority of Americans are not racists and would get quite a rise out of the trolls’ racist remarks.

Unlike the traditional racist who is very ignorant yet extremely focused on hating a certain group of people, Internet trolls are careless about who they indirectly hate. I don’t know which is worse…

Okay, I told you that the “Just Checking” Cheerios ad is awesome. Here it is:

As a daddy blogger who is extremely focused on spotlighting ads, TV shows, and movies that feature dads in a positive and active role, I love (!) this ad.

I noticed that the acting is superb. It’s so believable and candid, that I actually caught myself thinking, “What a cool family.”

Then I reminded myself they’re just actors.

This ad is fresh, funny, and promotes good health. And for the fact that you eat Cheerios in a plastic baggy every morning on the way to school, I can even say that we honestly support the product they’re selling.

That doesn’t happen very often in this health-nut family you’re a part of.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

P.S. Beware of Internet trolls, even in the comments section of this, too!

 

Photo: 3D Cute Furry Monster, via Shutterstock.

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

My Pal Scout: The 2013 Version Of My Buddy

June 3, 2013 at 11:28 pm , by 

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

You’ve had My Pal Scout (by LeapFrog) since you were a newborn. He’s a toy you’ve literally grown up with. However, it’s now at age 2 and a half that Scout is truly relevant to your life more than ever.

Now that you can talk, it’s like Scout has truly come to life! He’s a real talking puppy… at least, I think that’s what you think.

Sometimes to stall going to bed, you’ll ask for socks from the closet, then see a toy you haven’t played with in the past 4 months; ever since you became obsessed with monster trucks, that is.

That happened to be the case with Scout.

“Jack, let me show you how to play with him. If you want to play games, just press this red ball of yarn on his paw,” I explained.

Scout began talking to you:

“Hi Jack, wanna play?”

In a half-second’s time of confusion, astonishment, and wonder, I saw your eyebrows go up as you excitedly and hesitantly replied with a smile, “Yeah!”

Then Scout continued to engage you: “My favorite animal is a giraffe. Jack, is that your favorite animal too?”

How could it be that this green puppy who has been hanging out in the closet has the same interests as you? He even likes bananas, as you do, and sang about them to you.

Granted, Mommy customized Scout online a couple years ago to say your name and interests. But to you, he’s a cool dog who can talk.

And so the bromance began. All last weekend, Scout was your buddy. You were sort of bummed that I wouldn’t let you take him to the zoo.

At least I let you eat dinner with him.

I think Mommy just needs to program Scout to say he likes monster trucks… then you’ll really be all set!

 

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

To Be Colorblind, Racially Speaking

June 2, 2013 at 12:02 am , by 

2 years, 6 months.

Dear Jack,

As you commentate in the backseat in regards to the people you see on the sidewalk or driving the cars next to us, I’ve officially learned the language of “2 and a half year-old.”

I’ll hear you say, “Look at that brown man. Where’s he going?”

Or, “What about that yellow woman? She drives a truck?”

Though I was pretty confused the first several times because I was looking for the wrong physical traits, I eventually realized that when you refer to a person’s color, you’re simply talking about what color their shirt is.

At age 2 and a half, you evidently don’t see skin color like the way I’ve been conditioned to as a 32 year-old man who grew up in Alabama.

Knowing about all the segregation that took place just a couple of decades before I was born, I was constantly aware how horrible judging a person on their skin color was.

The good news is, I don’t think you’ll have to deal with this problem as much as I have throughout my life. When you were born, the American President was of both English and Kenyan descent; or as he’s often referred to, “America’s first black President.”

You were born into the least racist point in America’s recent history. (Right?) I don’t think you’ll ever be forced to see the difference in skin color the way I have throughout my life.

It’s tricky for me. I never want to make it seem like I’m truly “colorblind,” because then it takes away from the value of a person’s ethnic heritage and culture.

I suppose at some point, you’ll notice the different shades of brown that all of us human beings have; just like the way you notice what color shirts we wear.

Until then, I envy your innocence.

 

Love,

Daddy