Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

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Interview with 8 Bit Dad’s Zach Rosenberg

October 21, 2011 at 11:23 pm , by 

Eleven months.

A few days ago at a tour of the GM (Chevy) headquarters in Detroit, I met a fellow “daddy blogger” who runs a website on fatherhood called 8BitDad. I told him how last week I interviewed myself for the first of my new series, Interviews with Non-Famous People, and was currently looking for more dads to feature in it. (In order to be considered the least bit famous, you have to have a Wikipedia entry written about you.)

Zach Rosenberg, the Co-Creator and Editor-in-Chief of 8BitDad, was game for being the 2nd person to be interviewed for my series. (I’m in bold italics, he’s not.) Here’s what went down:

How is your daddy blog, 8 Bit Dad, different from mine?

I think the main difference is that you run an actual blog – that is, a “web-log” – a journal of events. 8BitDad is closer to a culture-site. So, where yours is deeply personal about your own family, ours isn’t – but is deeply personal matter. In a sense – and this is of course not an insult – if someone wasn’t interested in hearing about you, particularly, you lose them as a reader. Generally, I just lose readers for making bad jokes and ruffling feathers around moms and dads.

Does the term “daddy blog” annoy you?

It does – I don’t like “blog” in general. But there’s a distinction – not all fatherhood (and motherhood) sites are blogs. 8BitDad, not a blog. Parents.com, not a blog. But Parents.com has bloggers who blog on their particular wing of the site. I don’t necessarily like being “lumped in” as a daddy-blogger because I’d like to think of myself as more of a journalist, but let’s be honest – I’m not really beating the street the same way I used to when I worked for a newspaper, and as far as being lumped-in, what a great set of guys to have as company. All of the “dad-bloggers” I’ve talked to have been awesome.

Though I have my assumptions, tell me exactly how you came up with the name of your blog. (I will need you to use the word “stellar” in your answer.)

Well, my friend Bryan Ferguson and I were talking about starting some kind of fatherhood site one night while talking smack about a couple baby products. We thought “man, we’ve got to get this attitude up on the internet.” So we had our goal – a stellar, fatherly attitude. But what to call it? We both liked that nostalgic idea of the Nintendo as being the icon of “our generation”, but knew we couldn’t be something like NESDad or Nintendad. We had maybe three names we liked at the end of the night and when I woke up the next morning, Bryan texted me “I took the plunge and registered 8BitDad.com” so we ran with it.

In an effort to mock the trend of using 3 one word sentences (Just. Like. This.), please describe your blog accordingly. Just. Three. Words.

Paternity. In. Pixels.

Recently you published a post criticizing Parents.com. For those who didn’t instantly click the hyperlink in the sentence above just now, explain what your beef is with the website that is ironically hosting this interview.

I know, right? Talk about some form of irony, or coincidence, if you’ve got a degree in English and know that it’s not really irony. Well, I’ve got a beef with most “parenthood” sites. In a nutshell, parenting websites are typically very mom-oriented, even if they use the words “and dads” from time to time. They’ve got largely female staffs, primarily female bloggers, and, if you’re into chicken-or-egg debates, primarily female readers.

Fathers do still visit parenting sites like Parents.com but it’s tough to feel like part of the community when it’s all mom-this, mom-that. I love moms and I respect all the things they do – but Parenting sites need to also consider fathers – and that’s where my specific beef came in: I get Parents.com e-mails, and they use banners like the one I showed on 8BitDad – emblazoned with things like “Free Stuff for Mom & Baby.” Well, I’m neither mom nor baby. I’m a parent, which is why I was on Parents.com.

I’m a father – a proud one, and I don’t want to sift through mom-stuff to find something that applies to me. I mean, hey, you don’t need to really answer this, but as a father, doesn’t it irk you that right above your bio is a link to “Mom Tools” and “Win”? Where’s “Dad Tools”? You know why it’s not there? Because ask anyone else on your editorial staff why “Dad Tools” is missing and I guarantee they’ll ask “what tools do dads need? They’re not carrying a baby.”

The perception is that dads don’t need anything, and if it were offered, they wouldn’t take it. I’m not trying to knock moms down, I just want equal representation in a place that’s named after the genderless reference to kid-having folk.

What has been your biggest challenge so far as a dad?

My biggest challenges have been walking-the-walk, so to speak. I do a lot of talk on my site about patience, but patience with a baby, toddler and youngin’ is tough. Sometimes, you just don’t know what to do. And I’ve always had a rule – whatever I want to do/say right after my kid makes me hit the roof is exactly what I don’t do. I take time to think, relax and be consistent. Any fight you have with a 2 year old is a losing one. If you’re fighting with a kid that has no sense of reality and logic, you lose. That’s a tough nut to crack. So staying patient and being the adult, when all you want to do is yell back, that’s the toughest.

What is the weirdest thing about your parenting style?

Probably my commitment to my kid’s health. You look at me and think “alright, he’s a 300-pounder, his kid’s got to have bacon grease for blood.” But it’s not like that at all. We make all our kid’s food fresh and healthy. He gets peas and carrots on his pizza, made with thin, homemade dough and homemade sauce.

He doesn’t drink juice – I’m one of those weirdos. So he gets milk in the morning and night, and water all day. Kid loves water. He’s on the right track. And shhh, don’t tell him, but when my wife and I indulge in fast food, we make him that at-home-healthier-equivalent and wrap it in one of the fast food wrappers so he thinks he’s getting a treat too.

Poor kid will think Taco Bell burritos have peas, corn, carrots and broccoli in them until he’s old enough to drive there himself and buy one. I mean, really. I may have hit the hamburger buffet a little too much in life myself, but my kid doesn’t know good from bad – so I need to teach him good eating so by the time he’s a teenager, he’ll have the foundation for healthy living.

What is your favorite quirk about your child’s personality so far?

He’s picked up my wife’s and my speech patterns and phrases. So if we go out to dinner, he will ask a waitress for a glass of water, and use “please” and “thank you.” You don’t expect it from a 2 year old. And I know being polite isn’t a quirk, but it just sounds so funny. You don’t expect toddlers to be polite. They’re pretty unsavory people, so when they say “thank you” or “I love you” unsolicited, they sound quirky.

Is your dad a rabbi or does he just play one on TV?

Both. He played one on Diagnosis Murder, that old TV show with Dick Van Dyke. Sometime later, he finished his rabbinical school and was a real one. He usually played judges, jerk doctors and sweater-wearing fathers, but never decided to become one of those. I mean, we live in Los Angeles – no need for sweaters there.

What is your favorite (8 bit) regular Nintendo game? Your answer must serve as a metaphor for fatherhood, in some way.

I always go with the underdog, Metroid. Large, free-roaming world, ominous music, deep weapons system for the time, multiple endings, secret codes (including one that wasn’t unveiled until recently!), and a surprise female lead. Hmmm…not sure I can come up with a fatherhood metaphor for that one since it was “Mother” Brain and a woman protagonist. Maybe…uhhh, that’s what happens when there’s no fathers around? *snicker*

I could, for the record, be persuaded to say MegaMan 2 solely for the music.

I’m sorry; you’re wrong. The correct answer was Super Mario Bros. 2. It serves as a metaphor for fatherhood because it teaches kids to eat vegetables. Actually, it teaches kids to pick up vegetables and kill their enemies with them. I guess you’re right, Zach Rosenburg.

See bro? Also, I’m sticking with my answer, even thought my metaphor is weak.

You have the last word, 8 Bit Dad.

I may sound like I’m militantly pro-dad and anti-mom. I’m not. I’m against the splitting up of moms and dads. From time to time I enjoy a good joke but not at the others’ expense. The Father’s Movement was born out of the Women’s Movement; when women started going to work, someone had to stay home with the baby. So – that became fathers. But there’s still a lot of leftover law and not-on-the-internet legislation and perception changes that need to happen for fathers to get their fair dues.

We’re slowly being regarded as legitimate parents – but the laws are far behind. So, although us fatherhood writers have a lot of fun pissing and moaning about simple stuff on the internet, there’s more important work to be done out in the world. Check out the National Fatherhood Initiative or Fathers & Families to see what kind of laws are being made (and which ones need help) if you really want to give father’s a boost! Also, thanks man – always good talking to another father. Power to the Paternal!

Zach Rosenberg’s Bio:

Zach grew up under a nearby orange tree in California’s San Fernando Valley. He has worked at publications such as Filter Magazine, Geek Monthly Magazine, UNleashed Magazine, WYWS Magazine,The Los Angeles Sentinel (“the largest Black-owned newspaper on the West Coast”), and also worked on His Side with Glenn Sacks (“The largest mens’ and fathers’ issues radio show in America” in 2001).

His son was born in January 2009.

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Healthy Parents: Dad’s Cancer-Fighting Breakfast

October 21, 2011 at 10:03 pm , by 

Eleven months.

After being the only odd man out in yet another fast food burger sack lunch feast in my department at the office; and hearing my other male coworkers complain about how hard it is to keep from gaining weight after turning 30; and becoming a dad, one of the guys turned to me and insincerely asked, “How do you do it, Nick?”

I’m not the kind of person to push my lifestyle onto others- they have to truly want to know. Because just like when a person asks how you are doing, they don’t always care to actually know the answer.

But the next day, that coworker privately asked me the same thing. As a 30 year-old dad of four sons and coming to work to sit behind a desk for forty hours a week, he had gained a bit of weight and had finally gotten to the point where he wanted to reverse his damning habits.

So I told him, “If you want to do this thing for real, then you must start by getting breakfast right on a daily basis-  everything else will fall into place much easier.” And at that point, I introduced him to “Nick Shell’s Swiss Oatmeal.”

In a breakfast world of sugary coffees, frosted pastries, and greasy meat-centric breakfast sandwiches served on white bread, it’s hard to find breakfast food that is both delicious and nutritious. But while on a business trip to Dallas a couple of years ago, I was introduced to Swiss oatmeal at The Corner Bakery Cafe near my hotel. Here’s my version of it:

Nick Shell’s Swiss Oatmeal

Serve cold.

1/2 cup of quick cook, plain oats (the kind you get for $1.29 in a canister)

1/2 cup of whole milk (milk fat is one of the good kind of fats)

1 banana (sliced)

1 tablespoon of unsweetened raisins

1 teaspoon of cinnamon

1 teaspoon of sliced almonds

1 teaspoon of honey

This perfect breakfast is packed full of fiber (oats, banana, raisins), good fats (whole milk, almonds) and natural sugar (banana, raisins, honey, whole milk). Pair it with some black coffee mixed with whole milk and a dash of honey to further keep you full until lunch time.

My coworker went during his lunch break and bought the necessary ingredients and has now converted to “Nick Shell’s Swiss Oatmeal” for breakfast. Predictably, he was skeptical of eating cold oatmeal. But once he tried it, he realized the coldness is part of the Swiss charm- plus, it’s less hassle because it doesn’t require an extra step of having to heat it up.

Switching to a healthy breakfast isn’t easy in our culture. As for me, I just had to do it “cold” turkey.

Passing the Mic:

Do you have a healthy breakfast idea to share with me?

Add a Comment

Leave a comment Posted on Health, parenting

The Dadabase Healthy Parents: The Marketing Strategy of “Cancer Sells”

October 21, 2011 at 9:52 pm , by 

Eleven months.

Here at Parents.com, the motto is “Healthy Kids, Happy Families.” As the daddy blogger, I want to extend the “healthy” part to parents, too. Because our kids learn their dietary habits from us, the parents.

Two years ago, I was 25 pounds heavier, but I have drastically changed my lifestyle since then to get to where I am now. So for those who are interested in heading down the straight and narrow with me as a parent, with this post I am debuting the first post of my “Healthy Parents” series.

We live in a consumer culture where it is acceptable (yet not ironic) for junk foods to come labeled in packaging telling us they are donating a portion of the proceeds to cancer research. Granted, I’m not against the occasional sandwich cookie or chocolate candy, nor am I against finding a cure for cancer or other diseases.

But am I the only one who thinks there’s something obviously illegitimate about an organization doing an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast benefiting research for Diabetes? (I actually saw that on Jay Leno’s “Headlines” one time.)

I am willing to go so far as to say that we are all fighting cancer in some way. For some of us, our parents or grandparents have been diagnosed by this serious disease and are actively fighting it.

For the rest of us who are younger, the risk may be further down the road. I want to help lead the fight through a lifestyle of prevention, alongside outspoken role models like Dr. Oz and celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver.

Why don’t brands of fresh produce (fruits and veggies) feel obligated to give a portion of the proceeds to help the fight against cancer? Interestingly, those are the foods that actually fight cancer in our bodies.

I feel in our culture, it’s taboo to address the issue that collectively we are gung ho about donating money for and raising awareness of, but don’t spend nearly the same effort to prevent those diseases as individuals by our own lifestyles.

But instead of complaining about that paradox, I’m simply going to write about ways we can focus some energy on having healthy families.

Ultimately, it’s about balance; that’s the message I’m trying to convey. It reminds me of what James, the half-brother of Jesus, said about religion: “Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.”

No one deserves to get cancer or any disease. But we all deserve to know how to prevent our lives from being further affected by it.

We should fight, we should hope, we should pray. We should also use our awareness of cancer (and other diseases) for being deliberate about what we feed our families; whether or not the proceeds of our groceries go to cancer research.

Passing the Mic:

Does our culture suffer a double standard of not focusing enough on healthy eating and living an active lifestyle, while over-emphasizing on researching for a cure?

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

10 Ways Not to Dress Like a Soccer Dad

October 20, 2011 at 9:36 pm , by 

Eleven months.

Alternate title: “How Not to Look Like a Man in Your 40′s When You’re Really in Your 20′s or 30′s.”

In “Does Becoming a Parent Make You Less Cool?,” I proclaimed that I didn’t want to end up looking like a “bland soccer dad.” What does that even mean?

Let me take you back to my senior year of college. I was working an afternoon shift at Liberty University’s brand-new student center with my culturally aware, straight-talking friend, Anna.

“You totally look like a soccer dad right now,” she said.

At the time, I didn’t realize that was a bad thing, with my faded polo shirt tucked into my khaki cargo pants, paired with tennis shoes and a flat hairstyle that resembled Mike Brady on the first season of The Brady Bunch.

Over time, especially since getting married, I have learned how to dress as a culturally relevant man, not Nick Burns, your company’s computer guy.

So for any dads out there who are wanting to step up their game, I’m here to sincerely help. The truth is, Nick Burns (a Saturday Night Live character played by Jimmy Fallon) is a good place to start; regarding who not to look like. 

1. If you are a white man under the age of 40, nix the mustache. It makes you look a pervert. No one takes a young mustached Caucasian man seriously- hence the term, “ironic mustache.”

2. Lose the cell phone belt clip. Just place your phone in your pocket and leave it on vibrate. That way, no one has to hear “Sweet Home Alabama” every time someone calls you.

3. No white socks. Unless you’re playing sports or you’re Michael Jackson in 1985, white socks are nerdy.

4. Give away your pleated pants. Pleats went out with Sears catalogs and Zack Morris cell phones.

5. When it comes to your hairstyle, the key is not to look like a weatherman, who I feel are notorious for having a definite “side part” like the previously mentioned Season One Mike Brady. The truth is, the clean-cut, yet semi-messy “Ryan Seacrest” is the safest way to go right now.

6. Go black, or go brown; but don’t go both. If you are wearing a brown belt, don’t wear black pants or black shoes too; and vice versa.

7. When it comes to jeans, light and baggy says “Hey man, Creed’s coming into town and I’ve got front row tickets!”. Also, do not purchase jean shorts. Like the white man’s mustache, they have become a fashion joke, now referred to as “jorts.”

8. Unless you’re actively on duty in the military, there is no reason for your pants to have cargo pockets. Cargo pants equal “sloppy” except they are part of your required uniform.

9. When wearing a neck tie, which you sporadically should, only wear it with a long-sleeved, collared shirt. I’m sure you don’t want to look like Dwight Schrute.

10. Fact: There is a reason no one ever asks anymore; “boxers or briefs?” That’s because it goes without saying. Boxers.

Passing the Mic:

Can you think of anything to add to my list? Maybe you’ll give me enough material here to write “10 More Ways Not to Look Like a Soccer Dad.”

 

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

9 Year-Old Girl is Dad’s Designated Driver

October 20, 2011 at 7:36 pm , by 

Eleven months.

That pretty much sums it up. An intoxicated  dad recruits his 9 year-old daughter to drive him home. Fortunately, his altered state of awareness caused him to brag his crime to a gas station cashier, as well as, the security camera.

So the predictable blog comment here should go something like this:

“Can you believe this guy? It’s people like this that should be locked up. What a horrible father! He endangered an innocent child, as well as, everyone else on the road!”

I agree. The man obviously shouldn’t have A) exposed his daughter to his drunkenness B) especially not in a place where he would have to eventually leave from in a vehicle, not to mention, C) force her to illegally drive a car D) because on top of everything else wrong with this scenario, he is setting an unimaginably horrible example for his daughter and E) who knows, maybe he is giving ideas to other outrageously inept parents out there.

Seriously, let’s hang a millstone around this guy’s neck and shove him off a plank, then stone him with radioactive moon rocks; only right after we stick a badge on his chest reading “World’s Worst Dad.” Just for good measure, give him an enema of baby barracudas swimming in Tabasco sauce. Right?

The question is, can we give “World’s Worst Dad” a microscopic shred of credit? Just for one thing: After all, he himself didn’t drive his daughter. Granted, he should have never done what he did. But was his decision to hand the keys to his 9 year-old daughter at least better than him driving drunk?

Passing the Mic:

Which is the greater evil- giving the keys to his daughter or him getting behind the wheel (with his daughter in the van)?