My Son and I Are Like E.T. and Elliott

January 2, 2012 at 8:19 pm , by 

13 months.

I don’t think it’s just in my head. My son Jack and I really are on the same wavelength.
If I’m not relaxed, neither is he. If I’m too hot or too cold, so is he. We have always enjoyed the same types of music and the same kinds of food. We are amused by the same random things in life.

Today both he and I, but not my wife, fought off a “24 hour stomach bug.” We both started out the day by vomiting, then felt kind of funky for most of the day, but by evening, were pretty much back at 100%.

Our father-son connection actually reminds me most of E.T. and Elliot’s relationship. In case I needed to point it out, Jack is E.T. and I’m Elliott. (This June will mark the 30th anniversary of the classic movie, E.T.)

While I’m the human, Jack is the waddling alien who mimics my everyday behaviors. Recently during playtime with him I was pretending to fall asleep on his blanket on the floor. I acted like I was snoring, making the classic cartoon sound as it is universally recognized: “Hah, shuuu… hah, shuuu…”.

Tonight he was showing off all his cool tricks for my parents who were briefly in town from Alabama. Sure enough, he dragged his blanket into the middle of the living room floor, laid down on top of it, and made his impression of the sound: “Eh, sssssshhh… eh, sssssshhh…”.

Jack wants to be human. It’s largely up to me to show him how. So much for him actually learning to be normal!

Where Do You Draw the Line on What Your Kid Eats?

December 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm , by 

13 months.

I am my kid’s own soup Nazi.

In South Korea, people really do eat dogs. If you need a visual, check out my personal Facebook page and look in my photo album called “Uncensored Korean Files” to see a dog deli I photographed while I was teaching there.

Here in America we eat pigs, which are just as cuddly as dogs and arguably more intelligent, but we’re okay with that because for whatever cultural reasons, we Americans know that it’s somehow uncivilized and morally wrong to kill and eat a dog, but not a pig.

Similarly, we as individual family units live by our own quirky food limitations. A few weeks ago on Facebook, I posted this as my status for my 871 friends to respond:

“Alright parents, I have a very personal question to ask you for something I’m writing for Parents.com. Where do you cross the line on what you will and will not allow your kid to eat? For example, how much fast food is too much? Any particular foods you just don’t want them eating? What about when you’re not around, like if your kid is at a friend’s sleep-over?”

Out of the 24 comments I received in a 24 hour period, the overall consensus was “everything in moderation.” However, the variable I noticed in their comments is what we all consider to be normal in our everyday eating habits. And that’s sort of the whole point of what I was asking.

For example, for some, it was no fast food. For others, it was no meat that isn’t organic. Or no caffeine or no sodas. And then there’s me, the hard-core vegetarian of the group who didn’t bother to mention the long list of things I won’t allow my own kid to eat.

We all know that cancer, Diabetes, and obesity rates are radically higher than they were a 150 years ago before we as humans we introduced to highly processed foods and began eating them in the majority of our meals. So now we as parents want to protect our kids by making deliberate dietary decisions for them.

So here’s what I say: Let us all be weird in our own weird ways when it comes to what “unhealthy” foods we won’t allow our kids to eat.

I’m past the point of worrying that I might hurt someone’s feelings when they try to feed my son something that isn’t on “Dad’s list” of approved foods.

Maybe I err a bit on the radical side, but so what? My kid’s not going to starve nor be malnourished if I have a say in it. He just may be a bit deprived as an American kid who doesn’t get to experience the joy of chicken nuggets like all the normal kids. He’ll be okay.

It’s not that we all as parents are necessarily judging each other for what the other does or does not let their kid eat. Well heck, if I’m judging anyone for that reason, it would be me. I’m more than willing to label myself as the wacko dad here.

But hey, we all draw the line somewhere when it comes to what we won’t let our kid eat.

What about you? Where do you draw the line?

Top image: Kid with snack, via Shutterstock. Bottom image: Two kids and chips snack, via Shutterstock.

The Peculiar Rise of Outspoken Evangelical Christians in 2011

December 29, 2011 at 6:32 am , by 

13 months.

I don’t even watch sports, nor do I have cable, but yet still I have been unable to ignore the relevance of the 24 year-old quarterback for the Denver Broncos; Mr. Tim Tebow.

Even I know that this guy, according to Wikipedia, inspired 92 million people to Google “John 3:16″ after he wore the phrase in his eye paint during the 2009 BCS Championship Game. Then in 2010 for the Super Bowl, he starred in a pro-life commercial for Focus on the Family.

Since then his popularity, along with the public’s knowledge of his Christian faith, has grown big enough for me, Mr. “I Don’t Care About Sports,” to know all about this Tebow guy. Love him or hate him; he’s totally relevant in American pop culture now.

Just mention his name on your Facebook wall and see what happens.

Of course, Tebow isn’t the only outspoken evangelical Christian to continually make headline news this year.

Sure, they may make their own clothes from time to time, but the Duggars are cool. America has come around to realize this. The authenticity of this family’s love for one another, as well as for others, is undeniable. I think that’s one of the reasons America is fascinated with them.

What may have started as a “let’s watch the modern day Waltons” concept on TLC back in 2008 has officially become a staple for the network. While earlier in the year I heard many people making comments like “When are they finally going to stop having babies?” many of those same people now feel an authentic sense of sadness as the Duggars have recently went public with the knowledge of their recent miscarriage.

From financial guru Dave Ramsey to blogger-turned-author Jon Acuff (Stuff Christians Like and Quitter), born-again Christians are sneaking into mainstream American pop culture with relevance, therefore gaining the respect of not only Christians, but also (maybe even more importantly) those who do not claim a religious stance.

I feel like it wasn’t always this way. It could have something to do with the fact that less Americans identify themselves as Christians compared to prior decades. Therefore, “Christian” has become less of a generic term in our society. So while agnostics and atheists have become more respected and accepted by the general population, so have Christians.

Honestly, I like it better this way. We can all be truthful about who we really are now.

These days, if you take the effort to identify as a follower of Christ, I think it means more than ever before. But if you do, people definitely expect you to be different. In fact, it seems the main problem people seem to have with Christians is when they’re not different enough from mainstream society.

Here on The Dadabase, does the fact that I’m an evangelical Christian make a difference in my writing? Does it season my viewpoint accordingly? Does it even make a difference? Is that part relevant in the society of today’s parents? Do people even want my Christian perspective on being a dad?

I’m hoping the answer is yes.

The tricky part is, Christians are supposed to be humble. How can any Christian in the mainstream spotlight be open about their faith, have a solid opinion about anything, and still be perceived as a sincere Christian? In essence, the term Christian celebrity is an oxymoron.

That’s what I truly call “the Tebow complex.”

3 Songs About Insanity This Dad Can Relate To

December 27, 2011 at 8:28 pm , by 

13 months.

There are countless songs which lightly use the word “crazy” as an exaggeration of how a person feels. But there are remarkably less songs out there where the singer is actually insane or headed in that direction. Today, I want to celebrate three of those songs.

Why? Because now that I’m 13 months into raising a kid, I’m finding more and more that I’m less and less of who I used to be. I’m becoming this much more mature and serious guy who has flashbacks of myself back when I was a “normal guy,” before I became a dad.

All this continual changing in my life, along with the constant need for on-the-spot decision-making has led me to become an arguably less likeable guy, in some ways. Maybe I’m not as fun as I used to be- I don’t know.

I’ve been forced to morph into this person who knows that at any minute his son’s daycare could call, saying his son has a fever. That means, I have to miss work (a commission-based sales job) to pick him up though he’s not even sick; he sometimes just gets a fever as he’s teething.

Yeah, that sort of makes me a little bit of a zombie; constantly on but never really able to focus on real life. Then again, having to miss work because your son has a fever is more “real life” than working a necessary job.

It’s such a trying balance in life. Seriously, I used to be normal. I used to not have to worry about stuff. But this is parenthood and this is my version of normal now.

Here are three songs that I can relate to, now more than ever:

1. “Unwell” by Matchbox Twenty. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not actually crazy; this song helps.

“It makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I’ve lost my mind
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know, right now you can’t tell”

2. “Who Can It Be Now?” by Men At Work. Here’s another denial at my lack of sanity; or at least my perception of it.

“I’ll be trapped, and here I’ll have to stay.
I’ve done no harm, I keep to myself;
There’s nothing wrong with my state of mental health.
I like it here with my childhood friend;
Here they come, those feelings again!”

3. “I’m Shakin’” by Rooney. For the fact that this song asks the question, “What is normal?” makes me feel good. After all, asking that exact question happens a lot in parenting.

“I’ve forgotten what it feels like to feel normal
To be normal
I’ve forgotten what food tastes like
What is normal?”

 

 

 

Accidently Teaching My Toddler Bad Behavior (Because It’s Funny!)