5 Ways Tetris (On Gameboy) Symbolizes Fatherhood

Is Huggies’ “Ultimate Test: Dad” Ad Degrading to Fathers?

March 7, 2012 at 11:52 pm , by 

15 months.

At this point in American society, it is basically becoming taboo to stereotype dads and husbands as half-witted goons, as was accepted in recent decades. It used to be that advertisers could target stay-at-home moms by making a caricature of their husbands. But now that dads make up 33% of stay-at-home parents, that model is essentially invalid.

The video clip above very humorously shows several examples of commercials where this sexist approach has still been recently used by Lysol, Hasbro, Cheerios, Benadryl, Febreeze, Naturemade, Stanley Steamer, Glade Sense and Spray, Uno Attack, Walmart, Orville Rendenbacher’s, Ortho, and Yellowbook.

“Doofy Husbands: Target Women” by Sarah Haskins also cleverly points out examples of commercials targeted to men; featuring cool, good-looking guys: Infiniti, Nivea, Heineken, and Miller Lite. Of course, in these advertisements the men are assumed to be single; whereas in the ones where men are goof balls, they are clearly married.

Basically, once you marry the man, it’s like watching the opposite of the evolution of man.

Two weeks ago, I published an article called Fathers Are 1/3 of Stay-At-Home Parents, But Still Pay The “Dad Tax” where I featured the “dad ads” of the March 2012 issue of Parents magazine. One of those ads was Huggies’ “Ultimate Test: Dad”.

At the time, I subconsciously thought for a half-second: “Wait, it almost sounds like they are making fun of dads; implying that dads are bumbling idiots who barely know how to change a diaper- one of the very ideas that I passionately denounce here on The Dadabase.”

But then I stopped myself with this rebuttal: “No, by putting dads to the ultimate test they mean that dads are tough on messes, like Mr. Clean. Yeah, that’s it… sure.”

So I moved forward with promoting it as a legitimate dad ad; because ultimately, a sponsor was making a point to acknowledge the involvement of dads regarding their product and I recognized (and still recognize) the importance of that.

Now here we are, living two weeks into the future, and a full-time stay-at-home Superdad named Chris Routly has gotten over 1,000 people (as of this minute) to sign a petition against the ad:

“Please, join me in asking them to drop the ‘Ultimate Test: Dad’ element entirely, and instead focus on actually celebrating the wonderfully active dads who use HUGGIES every day with the same competence and care as moms.”

I say this Chris Routly fellow is a smart guy and he makes a valid point.

He’s not being dramatic and asking dads, who currently make up 1/3 of stay-at-home parents, to ban Huggies. Instead, he’s asking Huggies to recognize their mistake and redirect their energy on a different ad that undoubtedly celebrates dads instead of questions their parenting abilities based on gender.

Chris Routly puts it this way, in his petition:

“How are dads a test? As a dad, am I simply too dumb to use them properly?

Why is a dad on diaper duty an appropriate or meaningful test of the product in any way a mom using them is not?

Why reduce dads to being little more than test dummy parents, putting diapers and wipes through a ‘worst-case scenario’ crash course of misuse and abuse?”

I think however this all pans out, it will be a valuable (and expensive) lesson to all advertisers from now on:

Don’t insult dads and husbands. We’re 33% of your buying power as stay-at-home parents.

The Importance Of Being Bored, As A Parent

15 months.

For my son, boredom is basically non-existent. He can find entertainment out of poking me in the eye. But for a parent, boredom is a rare, higher state of being; in other words, it’s basically nirvana.

Even when he is asleep, the dishes are done, lunches are packed, and emails are checked, there’s still some kind of necessary “wind-down” time that has to take place which probably involves half-way watching American Idol, while being pretty confident that Jessica Sanchez has already won it anyway.

Then I realize, “Hey, I could be sleeping right now.”

Sleep is the go-to activity when there is ever actually extra time left in the day. But in rare instances, it can even be possible as a parent to enter the much elusive state of boredom.

Last week, I had to go somewhere after dinner for about an hour; during the time of night my wife and I generally watch an episode or two of Lost together on Netflix streaming. When I walked in, I saw my wife on the couch, playing on Facebook.

With a curious smile on her face, she said, “While you were gone, I got bored.”

That was a big deal. I can’t remember the last time she said that to me. Was it before our son was born? Before she was even pregnant? I don’t know, but it’s been long enough for it to be a foreign concept.

Boredom doesn’t really happen in our house. But I really wouldn’t mind it happening more often.

It makes me think of the concept of disposable income. You have more of it before you have kids. But then it shrinks to the point that if you any cash somehow floating up from the budget, it’s hard to spend it on something other than paying off other bills or adding it into savings.

Similarly, the state of boredom rarely gets to be consumed as is. Instead, it often translates as “I really should be doing something productive with this window of free time.”

I almost laugh at the concept of having of me having hobby, unless it’s something I do during my lunch break at work. Because hobbies require free time; time during which I would otherwise be bored.

So today, I wish the blessing of boredom upon all parents who read this.

Unless this article itself made you bored. In that case, I revoke my blessing.

Can We Just Nix This Idea Of The Perfect “Supermom” Already?

March 6, 2012 at 9:53 pm , by 

15 months.

I think I’m getting annoyed by now when I hear moms contrast themselves to Supermom, a fictional character who flawlessly takes care of the kids and the house, and her husband, all while never having a hair fall out of place.

It’s ridiculous when moms continue to believe in this imaginary saint who is naturally better than them at being a mother.

I get it, though. Part of being a modern parent is to using self-deprecating humor.

Sure, a few specific jabs at our own parenting imperfections is healthy and funny. What I think needs to go is this concept, that as moms, you’re not already doing a wonderful job.

Who’s telling you you’re not a good enough mother, by the way?

Could it perhaps have something to do with exaggerated notions of other fellow moms you respect and subconsciously model yourselves after?

I’m going to say something now and you have to believe it, because it’s true.

You are Supermom.

No, as the daddy blogger of Parents.com I’m not trying to grow my female readership in some cheap attempt.

I just simply know the truth of the situation, as an outsider. You moms already do it all. And everybody else knows this. So just embrace the good reality already.

You are Supermom; the real-life version of her. The main difference I see is that the fictional version never complains. But is that a good thing? To never complain?

Nope. It’s absolutely necessary to communicate your frustrations as a parent.

In fact, as a dad, one of my biggest struggles is not that I contrast myself to Superdad, but that I am overly aware of how seemingly effortless moms seem to be at parenting.

If it weren’t for Supermoms, how in the world would Superdads ever know what we are doing?

Please don’t be your own Kryptonite. Instead, be kind to yourself today… Supermom.

3 Ways Kids Serve As Status Symbols For Their Parents

March 5, 2012 at 6:50 pm , by 

15 months.

By default, if you have a kid then you have a definite status symbol as an adult; it means, if nothing else, you are a parent who can relate to other parents. Having a kid says a lot about you without you having to say a word.

You know first-hand the cliches of parenthood: the lack of sleep, the financial worries, the stress on your marriage, the frustration of not knowing what you’re doing in general as a parent.

Kids serve as a status symbol for all those things, just as they also represent all the rewards of parenting. And I don’t just mean the sentimental, unconditional love aspects of it; which are definitely both priceless and undeniable.

Today I want to point out 3 ways that kids serve as status symbols for their parents, in more of the “what’s in it for me?” aspects:

1. Their activities. A more re-occurring issue which adds to the stress level of being a parent is the growing number of activities their kid is involved in.

Bonus points for the parent with the greatest amount of driving time in between their child’s swim lessons, soccer practice, and Mandarin Chinese language classes.

Because we all know how it works; the more running around and wearing yourself out in the name of parenting, the better of a parent you are.

2. Their cuteness. It doesn’t take two good-looking parents to make one good-looking kid. Yay for average looking parents! Gone are the days where you have to keep a dozen pictures of your kid in your wallet or posted up on your cubicle wall at work. Hello Facebook and Twitter…

3. Their material possessions. From strollers to shoes and clothes to educational toys to cell phones to cars, there are still plenty of ways to let other parents know that your kid is worth it. As Forrest Gump’s mama told him, “There’s only so much fortune a man really needs, and the rest is just for showing off.”

Good thing we have our kids to help send that message.