Author: Family Friendly Daddy Blog

Leave a comment Posted on funny, parenting

I Think, Therefore I Am… Made Of Noodles

January 25, 2014 at 7:27 pm , by 

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

I love your artwork.

Just look at this magnificent piece you created recently, which you simply entitled Bones; where you were instructed to place spiral noodles where your bones are and yarn for where your hair is.

Here’s my favorite part: You recognized that there was no reason to use any yarn for hair as all your classmates did.

You understood that because I “buzz” you every month or so with a #2 guard on the clippers, you don’t have enough hair to show it in the picture you made of yourself.

Meanwhile, all your other friends in the class, who happen to have a lot more hair than you, did use the yarn;  some to excess.

I cracked up when I saw your friend Porter’s self-portrait. According to the yarn he used, he has hair down to his fingers; when really, his hair isn’t even down to his eyebrows.

And your friend, Madison, who I recently had to instruct you to stop calling an eyeball…

In her rendition of herself, she has the Pippi Longstocking thing going on.

Your recent piece of art shows me your sense of self-awareness. It took Bones to show me that you are able to recognize yourself from a 3rd person perspective.

I like how when you see yourself in front of a mirror and I ask you that is, you always smile and curiously say, “Jack.”

It’s almost as if you see yourself from that 3rd person perspective but are still somewhat confused in the connection of version of yourself to the 1st person perspective.

Hey, I know the feeling.

Something I am definitely aware of is that I have trouble connecting who I think I am to who I really am. I want them to be the same, and in theory they are, but I’m never fully convinced.

“I think therefore I am” is not as easy as it sounds.

But when you involve noodles and yarn, it somehow is easier to understand.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

The Best Time Of The Month To Buy Stuff Cheap

January 25, 2014 at 7:18 pm , by 

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

To say we are a frugal family is an understatement. While some might consider the term “penny pincher” as an insult, I would take that as a compliment.

For the fact we don’t have smart phones or cable/satellite TV, it sets us apart from mainstream America. I realize that.

It means we’re a bit removed from modern technology and entertainment; and to a degree, we’re a bit removed from society, as well.

But on the flip side, we get to put that money in savings each month; which will help with down payment for the house we plan to buy later this year…

I actually consider being frugal as one of my hobbies. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but Mommy and I worked our way out of nearly $60,000 of debt and become debt-free last summer. There’s no way our perspective on money can or will ever be the same.

So I’m always looking for tricks that will help us save money. One example is knowing when not to buy retail items; and more importantly, the best time to do so.

My full-time job is in the HR side of freight logistics for a transportation company. Yeah, I know that sounds pretty random, but it’s a real thing; and it’s the main way I contribute to our family’s income.

I know that the next-to-the-last Tuesday of the month, until the first Monday of the next calendar month, is the best time for people to buy stuff cheap. I see it happen every month at my job; enough so that I predict logistics decisions based on that concept.

During that two week period, stores drop their prices in an effort to move the product out before the new month begins, which helps them avoid having to pay taxes on the merchandise they don’t sell by the end of the month.

That is why yesterday, our family met up at Old Navy after work and school. “Good Freight Tuesday,” as I call it, was just a couple of days ago. This is the best time of the month to buy retail products.

So we did.

We found the best items on clearance; as the store wants the “old stuff” off the racks to make room for the new stuff for next month, which begins next week.

Here’s how I look at it. I don’t want to be the sucker who pays full price for anything… ever.

One way I can accomplish my goal is to only shop for merchandise once the next-to-the-last Tuesday of the month occurs.

(I also recognize the importance of shopping for seasonal and holiday items after the season or holiday is over, or coming to an end.)

And just as important, I avoid doing any shopping, other than food and gas, during the first two weeks of the month, when stores are in no hurry to clear their shelves.

While we’re not eager to buy a new car, I will keep this in mind the next time we do; hopefully years from now.

If at a dealership, we will go during the last two weeks of the month, when I predict the salesman will be more desperate to meet his sales quota.

I feel that money management lessons are one of the best gifts I can hand down to you to eventually prepare you to adulthood, as the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad teaches.

So stick this lesson in collection: Don’t buy stuff until the next-to-the-last Tuesday of the month.

 

Love,

Daddy

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OMG Is A Four Letter Word

January 23, 2014 at 9:42 pm , by 

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

YOLO: You’re Only Little Once

January 21, 2014 at 9:40 pm , by 

3 years, 2 months.

Dear Jack,

While we were in Alabama last weekend celebrating your Auntie Dana’s 30th birthday, I heard her say something clever.

It was an interesting, parenting-related spin on a very popular catch-phrase of 2013: “YOLO,” which stands for “you only live once.”

In reference to raising your 2 and a half year-old cousin, Calla, your Auntie Dana’s motto is “you’re only little once.”

As a parent, this new twist on “YOLO” is a simple phrase to remind me that however enjoyable, or frustrating, a particular moment in parenting may be, it’s a fleeting event to be appreciated either way.

One of my favorite TV shows ever, The Office, ended last May. In the final episode, Andy Bernard had one of the best lines in the entire series, in my opinion:

“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

I have always been a very nostalgic guy; yearning for the past.

Nineteen eighty-something and Nineteen ninety-something are definitely warmer, safer, easier places for me to escape to, in my mind.

I graduated high school in 1999, nearly 15 years ago. So for me, anything that has happened in the year 2000 or beyond has taken place in my adult life.

My childhood (1981-1999) ended right before the 2000s began, which is why I am the very oldest of Generation Y. (We Millennials began adulthood once the Nineties were over.)

But as for you, from 2010 to 2028 is the span of years designated for your childhood; your warmest, safest, easiest place to be alive.

For you, it’s not a collection of old memories. Instead, you’re living it right now.

And I feel like I’m your host.

I feel like the Ryan Seacrest of your childhood.

You’re only little once. You’re only this young once- when things are still so obviously magical and mysterious.

When animals can talk. When getting a new Hot Wheel car is a big deal. When just running around the room in your pajamas in front of Mommy and Daddy is the highlight of your day.

These are the good ole days. You’re far from leaving them.

Love,

Daddy

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Which Animals Don’t Have Tails? (I Had To Google It)

January 19, 2014 at 9:10 pm , by 

3 years, 2 months.

Disclaimer/incentive to read this: May contain unintentional potty humor of a 3 year-old.

Dear Jack,

On the way to school Friday morning, you broke about 5 minutes worth of silence to announce:

“Tigers have tails, so they don’t poop. And pandas, too. They have tails but they don’t really like to poop. But pandas are not bears.”

I should point out here that you weren’t trying to be funny… you were completely serious, not smiling at all. Your tone was very informative.

As I listened to you teach me about the bathroom preferences of animals, I began (privately) processing your logic.

I began thinking about how if pandas specifically don’t like to poop, does that mean other animals enjoy it?

Also, I tried to make a connection between having a tail and not pooping. Why would having a tail affect that?

I began wondering about the alternative- where would the food go that animals eat?

Does the tail serve as a bit of a trap door to keep it all in?

This thought process occurred during an intensive 8 second period, before I decided to ask you a follow-up question:

What about fish?

“Fish have tails in the water, so they don’t poop,” you quickly answered.

For the first couple of hours of the day after I dropped you off at school, I was trying to think of animals that don’t have tails. No luck.

Finally, I Googled “animals that don’t have tails,” to find out the few exceptions to the rule.

Here’s the list of animals I found, according to the Internet, that don’t have tails:

Frogs (though they do when they are young), gorillas, apes, chimpanzees, orangutans, octopuses, clams, and starfish. Plus, certain spiders and insects; depending on a person’s definition of “animal.”

So if you rule out marine life, too, it’s pretty much certain primates that don’t have tails. I never realized so few animals, mammals in particular, have no tail.

Basically, your logic says that because humans don’t have tails, that’s why they poop.

In my 32 years on this planet, I’ve never thought how few animals have tails. I must thank you, Son, for bringing this to my attention.

Of course, you’re using the “tail concept” to say that’s why most animals don’t poop.

If only you had a tail, potty training would be a lot easier… according to your logic, at least!

 

 

Love, Daddy

 

Note: This is an opinion piece of the author (and his son) and does not reflect the scientific community. For example, panda bears really are bears; it’s red pandas that are not.

 

Photo Sources- Shutterstock.com:

Young Sumatran Tiger Walking.

Giant Panda Bear In Tree.

Old Silverback Chimpanzee.

(Memes created by Nick Shell.)