How We Paid Off Our Mortgage at Age 43

I will never forget this day in history: November 6th, 2024.

That’s the day my wife and I paid off our mortgage.

What you are about to read is the classic story of the underdog. We as a human civilization are naturally fascinated to see individuals overcome the odds placed against them and actually reach a seemingly impossible goal.

This is the story of how at age 43 (we were both born in 1981), my wife and I have now reached our goal of being not only debt-free, but also mortgage-free; despite the odds and despite remaining in the middle class.

To be clear, this is not a sexy story. We did not win the lottery. We did not inherit a million dollars. We did not invest in Bitcoin.

How we did it is the boring equivalent of someone you know losing 50 pounds and when they are asked how they lost the weight, they respond by saying they started exercising everyday, they reduced their daily calories, and increased their protein and fiber intake.

It’s not exciting to learn that people reached a challenging goal through hard work, dedication, and sacrifice… especially when it took years to get there.

Similarly, our underdog story is equally boring…

During my final year of college, my sister (who is 3 years younger than me) and I shared an apartment. The way our schedules lined up, when one of us was away at campus either in class or working, the other one would squeeze in an hour or two of playing Animal Crossings on the Nintendo GameCube back at our apartment.

In case you’re not familiar, the ultimate point of Animal Crossings is to work as efficiently as possible so that you pay off your mortgage.

(For the record, my sister ended up paying off hers before I did.)

As silly as it is, playing that video game for the course of my senior year of college fundamentally inspired me for my actual “real life” ahead. I was determined: I will be part of the rare minority of Americans to pay off my mortgage “early”; well before it was time to retire. (The average age to pay it off is 62.)

Despite the modern marketing attempts of banks and credit unions to convince me otherwise, the truth was obvious to me: “No. You are not like family and you are not my friend.”

But from the beginning, my strategy was not entangled with the idea of “getting rich first”. Instead, my plan would be to exploit the concept of maintaining a low overhead while finding ways to multiply my sources of income.

Fundamentally, the speedrunning aspect of paying off our mortgage early would focus on paying extra each month on the mortgage payments, so that it would pay off the principal of the loan quicker; preventing us from paying more in interest over the years.

Fortunately, I was naturally attracted to a woman who had the same intrinsic desire. As a team, we have worked together for many years to reach our goal; from the moment we got married. Because apparently, nothing is more romantic than mutually aspiring to be debt-free and mortgage free as a couple?

To be clear, our path to reach this goal was never easy. (Neither of us “came from money”.)  Instead, much of our 16 years of marriage has been riddled with financial setback after financial setback.

I remember years ago, seeing a meme that gave an honest visual of what the path to success actually looks like. It helped prepare my expectations.

We had to face the typical obstacles of the American middle class who happened to be Millennials: Paying off thousands in student debt, pay off thousands in wedding debt, buying our first home during the Financial Crisis of 2008 (which happened to be the year we got married), not making much money for the first decade of our professional careers, having children and having to pay for childcare while we both worked, etc.
The lowest, most difficult point in my life occurred in 2010, when my wife and I chose to leave behind our steady jobs and stable lives in Tennessee, to move to Alabama after we had our first child. Our hearts were in the right place, but we ended up living off our savings as we tried to find steady work while raising a newborn. We lasted 9 months before running out of money and having to move back to Tennessee; asking for our old jobs back.
And of course, our car broke down halfway through the drive back; which resulted in us having to buy a different car.
You can imagine: I wasn’t able to walk away from that point in my life without being forever hard-wired to never end up in a situation like that again. It “broke” me. (Pun intended.) The years that followed were just as tough, as we rebuilt everything back from nothing.
But I imagine I needed that humiliating and sobering time in my life in order to land here in this situation now, to be able to pay off my mortgage at 43.
This year, Dave Ramsey conducted a study of the top professions of people who become millionaires, known as The National Study of Millionaires. To confirm, we are not millionaires. But I do see an overlap with our careers:
We both technically fall into the categories of “teacher” and “management”: My wife has a Master’s in Early Childhood Development (though she never actually had a career in education) and I have a Bachelor’s Degree in English (I had originally planned to be a teacher as a profession). As for our actual careers, my wife is Chief of Staff (management) at a health care company and I am an Account Manager (HR/Recruiting) for a transportation company.
I think it is interesting that she and I both desired in our hearts to be teachers, getting our education in those fields, but we then ultimately landed in management roles.
Dave Ramsey’s National Study of Millionaires found the the most common theme among engineers, accountants, teachers, managers, and attorneys is that they all are required to operate as part of a system; living by a strict set of principles. So I can see how the path to becoming a millionaire is similar to first paying off your debts and mortgage.
Similarly, it is clear that Malcom Gladwell’s 6 Unexpected Outliers to Success play into this as well:
  • Opportunity.
  • Timing.
  • Upbringing.
  • Effort.
  • Meaningful work.
  • Legacy.

One that stands out to me from this list is Upbringing. One set of my grandparents were 1st generation Americans; meaning their own parents immigrated here from other countries. Specifically, I grew up up curiously observing my Papaw Metallo, who ultimately grew up in an orphanage in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

I watched him work an average job, live in a decent-sized home on a few acres, never buy a new vehicle, and he always had money in the bank.

Undoubtedly, his habits were adopted by my parents, and passed on to my sister and me. (Not only did my younger sister pay off her mortgage in Animal Crossings before I did, but she also did in real life a year and a half ago.)

I also see how Opportunity and Timing played into our ability to pay off our mortgage at age 43. Had the Covid Crisis of 2020 not happened, my wife and I would not have been able to start working remotely, allowing us to “cash in” by selling our Tennessee home (which doubled in value over the 9 years we lived there) and then move to Alabama again where the cost of living is much lower.

So I suppose I shall quote the 2004 rom com starring Brittany Murphy, Little Black Book: “Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and the peace that comes from knowing that you just can’t know it all.”

Undeniably, my wife and I have been (imperfectly) following the teachings of Dave Ramsey since 2008 when we got married; which eventually led to us becoming debt-free (other than our mortgage) five years later in 2013.

That means it took us 11 years to pay off our mortgage after becoming debt-free. It was around that time that I consumed the book, Rich Dad Poor Dad, by Robert Kiyosaki. From there, I became obsessed with creating “passive incomes” on the side; what most people know as “side hustles”.

I started two different YouTube channels, creating content exploiting topics that people were already searching for (men’s hair loss and DNA test results) as opposed to what I actually wanted to talk about.

I began using my blog (Family Friendly Daddy Blog) as a SEO platform to implant Amazon links; which generate commission for me when readers click on them.

My work as a blogger led to me becoming the official daddy blogger of Parents Magazine. During those 4 years, I was sent new vehicles to “review” each week, which included a full tank of gas. (This was officially ironic because we have never actually owned a new vehicle.)

I used my accidental knowledge of SEO to become an independent contractor for other businesses, in addition to my full-time job.

All of these side hustles generated hundreds of dollars each month; which ultimately went towards paying the principle of our mortgage. Admittedly, I still generate passive income from my YouTube channels and Amazon links, though it is much less than it was back in the years I needed it so badly.

So yes, certainly Effort has been important; going back to Malcom Gladwell’s 6 Unexpected Outliers to Success.

Something possibly surprising about this journey, from the very beginning, we have been committed to tithing and charitable giving: Even during our lowest financial point.

This is consistently taught throughout the Bible, as well as being continually endorsed by Dave Ramsey and Robert Kiyosaki, author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

As for the future, we shall continue our lifestyle of keeping a low overhead. The income that used to go to our mortgage will now being going towards investments and savings.

I also recognize that when you overcome a major obstacle, it requires you to recalibrate your process; as a new obstacle will present itself to replace the last one.

Without the constant burden of “must pay off mortgage” hanging over my life, what will I do with that space in my brain?

I refuse to see “work” as a negative thing that I am suppose to graduate from. I find ways to make the challenge of work exciting and rewarding. Work means that I continue to create and contribute; whether or not it means I am an employee of a company.

The thought of retirement is not exciting to me. I’m convinced that I’m that guy who if I stopped “working”, I would die a few months later.

Keep working. Keep creating. Keep living.

 

 

 

 

 

My 25th High School Reunion in Fort Payne, Alabama

Occasionally, at random times, my life feels like I just booted back up after receiving a software update that I didn’t ask for.

I look around and ask myself, “How did I get here? How many years have passed? Where did all those people go who were here before and who are these new people in my life at this point? Why do I have both more answers and more questions at the same time? How old am I now?”

At this point in human civilization, especially in this country, it appears that “authentic human connection” has become that much more of a commodity.

I am very fortunate. I graduated high school from a particular town in Alabama where collectively, we still continue to desire to show up to our class reunions; even 25 years later.

Just as important, one of our own, Tabatha Hilyer, happens to be a gifted event planner. She always goes beyond simply just setting up a reunion at a local restaurant. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that!) Instead, our class reunions are like the kind you see in a movie or a TV show.

There is a nice rented out space. A DJ is hired. Food is catered. It’s the real deal. Not to mention, all the details are clearly and consistently communicated leading up to the event.

Sure, it is a great time. It’s a comfortable and fun place to be.

And, I think it’s not inappropriate to say… therapeutic.

We’re 43 now.

As I made a point to speak to every single one of my classmates there throughout the night, I noticed there wasn’t much of a focus on career in our conversations.

Instead, the general focus seemed to be more of a collected sigh of relief and sense of gratitude for all we’ve overcome to this point; both as a group and as individuals.

Born in 1980 and 1981, as part of “The Oregon Trail Generation”, we didn’t grow up with cell phones or the Internet. We grew up in a simpler and less confusing time, I feel.

By the time we started getting settled into our careers and starting a family, we found ourselves in the Financial Crisis of 2008.

Then by the time it seemed things were starting to stabilize, many of us were thrown into a situation where we were forced to suddenly work from home, while attempting to manage having small kids who were supposed to be doing school remotely alongside us.

Yet in the aftermath of that Covid Crisis of 2020, many of us were enabled to move back to Fort Payne with our families to live a quieter life.

Obviously, I happen to be one of those members of The Class of 1999 who has recently moved back here to Fort Payne. So the word “reunion” holds a lot more weight than previous years.

I suppose I am fascinated by the fact we still recognize each other’s familiar personalities from our childhood and teenage years, but now we carry with us 25 years of adult experiences; including both challenges and celebrations.

There is undeniably something humbling and sobering about it. No need nor desire to try to impress each other.

Instead, the sentiment was a sincere, “I am so glad you are here.”

 

“The Class of Ninety-Nine”

Twenty-five years have passed since I walked that stage

When I graduated, we were the Class of Ninety-Nine

Just turned eighteen, it was time to see

What I could be if I crossed that state line

Twenty-five years later, now I’ve moved back to this town

Back to my roots, the old becomes new

It’s not really starting over as I settle down

Back from the future, this time I know what to do

How could I ever change

If I never moved away?

I had to make mistakes

I had to break

I had to take my time

It would be an understatement to say I’m not the same

That the years haven’t changed my mind

That was a different life back in the Class of 1999

Dear Jack: A New Family Tradition of Sunday Night S’mores

13 years, 10 months.

Dear Jack,

During your first week of school here in Alabama, you were assigned a project that told your classmates more about you.

One of the specific items you included on your family crest was family traditions.

I can definitely appreciate you saying that. As your parents, it has always been important to us to focus on fun activities for our family.

And some of those family activities end up becoming family traditions.

This past Saturday, Mommy and I had the entire morning to ourselves, since you and your sister stayed the night at Nonna and Papa’s house.

We legitimately had fun working on the yard. In doing so, we discovered a fire pit and a set of Adirondack chairs left behind by the previous owners.

After seeing the way Mommy set them up nicely in our yard while I was mowing the lawn, I said, “You know what sounds really good to me right now? S’mores.”

So Sunday after church, we made a quick trip to the store to pick up everything we needed for that night after the sun started going down.

I suppose it’s official that our family motto since settling in here in Alabama is “Make life meaningful and create beautiful experiences.”

For me, at least, having a new family tradition of “Sunday Night S’mores” would definitely qualify for that.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: An Extra Photographer

8 years, 5 months.

Dear Holly,

I feel like it’s pretty much official by now: Aunt Dana has largely replaced me as your main photographer.

Since we live in the same town as her now, and considering that you and your cousin Darla are in the same classroom, Aunt Dana often happens to be where you are; when I am not around.

She sent me some photos of you, Darla, and your friend Charlee last week. I responded, “I was at the school book fair. You got a lot of pictures that I didn’t even know you were taking.”

Turns out, there was also a “during school hours” version of the book fair that I didn’t even realize was taking place earlier that day. But Aunt Dana was there to capture the moment!

Otherwise, I would have had no clue that event even took place.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: Our Apple Picking Adventure

8 years, 4 months.

Dear Holly,

Since moving to Alabama, we as a family have adopted a collective theme of “making life meaning and beautiful”. It’s all part of our new ability to “live a quiet life”.

Now that our Saturdays are no longer filled with house renovations, we get to go have fun as a family; participating in meaningful and beautiful activities together.

We recently visited Little River Orchard in Mentone; where we picked apples. It was a new experience for you!

Then, that afternoon in preparation for guests coming over to our house for dinner, you and your cousin Darla helped Mommy make an “apple crisp” for dessert.

We live a a meaningful and beautiful life… because we are making it meaningful and beautiful.

Love,

Daddy