Dear Holly: Signs of Life

8 years, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

Last week Mommy traveled to California to spend some time with Grandma in Sacramento. Apparently, it is customary that because you are still a little girl, you definitely are still entitled to a souvenir every time she leaves the state of Alabama.

Even though you already had 8 other Warmies (microwaveable stuffed animals that smell like lavender when you heat them up), you needed another: This time, a hamster.

Before you left for school yesterday morning, you made sure your new hamster was all set up for the day: He watched TV and ate popcorn until you got home.

It is not uncommon for me to discover your Warmies throughout the house; staged like real life animals and/or babies.

I love being your dad.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Smart Money

14 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

You are the smartest person I know. That means my life is a little bit easier, accordingly.

We never have to ask you to do your homework, because you always get it done during school. Somehow you never study for tests, yet your grades are always good.

So this week when I learned you had earned the privilege of “skipping out” of your semester tests due to your consistently high grades, I was very happy for you.

This is a reminder that I am a “fun” dad. My rule: No school? No bedtime.

I don’t care. Stay up super late playing your PlayStation 5 games. Be a 14 year-old boy.

But of course, you elected to spend one of your days off from school working for Nonna and Papa; tearing down some old playground equipment in their background and helping with the insulation process under their house.

So in review: You’re a smart kid who plays hard and works hard. I endorse this.

Love,

Daddy

I Don’t Hate Mondays

If you knew me in high school, you may still have a vague memory of me going around the hallways during break, selling gum from my backpack. Yes, welcome to…“Confessions of a Teenage Gum Dealer”.

It was a different time back then. Gum in the classroom was strictly prohibited. I sold a good that was a true commodity. I provided a service that was risky. The free market rewarded me accordingly.

In hindsight, I apparently felt tied down by the idea of having to commit to just one group of people to hang out with in high school, so I decided it made more sense to bounce around from the skateboarders, to the athletes and cheerleaders, to the gamers playing Doom in the computer lab, to everyone in-between.

And while socially connecting with everyone at school, why not make some money in the process?

I would buy the multipacks of Wrigley’s gum from the grocery store for about a dollar, then only charge 25 cents per pack (which contained 5 sticks of gum) when I sold them at school. That meant I made over a dollar profit for each multipack. And believe me, I sold a lot of multipacks each week!

Naturally, I carried this “Zack Morris” mentality with me to college…

I bought two pairs of old microwaves and mini-fridges from Goodwill; turning my dorm room into the most glorious convenience store. I would go to Wal-Mart and buy microwaveable popcorn, ramen, egg rolls, burritos, and Hot Pockets; as well as other tempting processed foods like candy, energy drinks, and soda.

Just like in high school, running a “small business” allowed me to be socially connected while making some money along with the way. Coincidentally, I lived in Dorm 15 at Liberty University. My regular customers cleverly named my store, “The Freshman 15”; for many of them, it proved to live up to the name.

As I have recently been thinking back on those stories, it finally hit me, this year at age 43:

“Oh… I’m one of those people who will never stop working even after I retire, because if I do, I will die shortly afterwards.”

This does not bother me. Fortunately, I happen to also be one of those people who not only believes, but also lives by, the concept, ‘Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Funny thing is, most people don’t actually know what I do for a living. Many people assume that I write for a living, or that it has something to do with making YouTube videos. To be fair, I do make a passive side income from those hobbies. (Even my hobbies revolve around me finding a way to make money off of them!)

But my actual job, ever since I graduated college, is I am a recruiter. Basically, I’m a salesman under the division of HR.

I have a monthly quota. My job is find qualified people and motivate them to be interested in one of my company’s openings that needs to be filled- and then lead them through the whole paperwork process and background reports, up unto the point of their first day of onboarding.

I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love the company I work for.

I get a thrill out of overcoming challenges and managing chaos.

Yet, somewhat ironically, I am definitely not a workaholic. I don’t think about work before 8 AM nor do I think about it after 5 PM.

I definitely never think about my job during the weekend. Yet, unlike Garfield, I don’t hate Mondays. I don’t constantly fantasize about taking a vacation. You’ll never hear me complain about my job.

So I’m pretty sure that when I eventually officially retire at some point, I’m still going to be finding ways to make money, while connecting with people.

I suppose it has something to do with me recognizing that work, especially as it relates to earning income and being able to find a way to be of service to others, not only gives me purpose but it also doubles as a much-needed distraction from the big, scary aspects about life that have no satisfying answers or perfect solutions.

There is comfort in the routine. I don’t fight it. I embrace it.

Dear Jack: You are Currently about 5′ 3″

14 years, 3 months.

Dear Jack,

When we bought you new shoes to begin your 8th grade school year, I learned that you officially have a larger shoe size than me. And since then, you have continued growing taller.

I don’t think I grew after the 8th grade. I’m pretty sure I’ve been 5′ 9″ since 1995.

You were curious enough this weekend for me to measure you. Looks like you are currently a little over 5′ 3″.

But if your shoe size is already size 10, it seems like by the time you are finished growing, there’s a decent chance you will end up being at least a little taller than me.

We’ll know for sure in a few more years.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: A Book about Poo… from School?

8 years, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

Last Friday Mommy made it back from her work trip to Nashville in time to help work the final day of your school’s book fair.

So in addition to all the books and other fun stuff you had already ended up with last week (basically like a small Christmas), you still had one more day to grab any items you just had to have.

The most interesting thing you came home with was, to my surprise, actually a book!

Of course, the name of the book is none other than “Where’s the Poo? Sticker Activity Book”.

Because yes, that is a real thing, and you now own it.

I can confidently say that in all my elementary school years, I never once encountered a book about poo… that also happened to be a fun activity book including “over 200 poop-tastic stickers!”

 

Love,

Daddy