Dear Holly: You and Your Cousin Darla are Pretty Much Everywhere Together

8 years, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

As I do my best to manage incoming photos from Aunt Dana and Nonna, I realized I needed to created a special folder named “Holly and Darla”. There is a reoccurring theme: So many photos are of you and your cousin Darla together.

Sometimes, I receive these photos with no context or caption… not that one is necessarily needed.

Dance class. Dinner after dance class. School. Church?

Those mainly seem to be the categories.

When you’re not here with me at the house, it’s pretty much a given that you and your cousin are together doing whatever it is you’re doing.

And I’ve got the photos to back it up… even if I had no idea where you were at the time.

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jack: Handyman for Hire

14 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

Mommy knows better than to ever ask me for help with putting anything together she orders from online. (This time it was planter boxes for the garden she is starting in our yard.)

All that would happen is that I would be angry for the entire day, as I can not be trusted with any projects even closely connected with the concept of engineering.

I’m… the… worst.

But not you. What would have taken me several hours, and it still wouldn’t have been done right, you seemed to easily figure out in about 45 minutes.

Mommy was happy to pay you by letting you get a $10 upgrade on your PlayStation 5 game.

And I noticed you threw in a Hot Wheels car as we were buying groceries after church.

I really like our arrangement with you as our household handyman.

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Holly: The Backyard Swings

8 years, 10 months.

Dear Holly,

Exactly a year ago, our family spent Spring Vacation by coming down here to this house we just bought in Alabama, to begin doing renovations.

I believe it was then that Mommy first recognized the tree on the edge of our property and said, “Oh, Papa needs to help us put up a swing on that tree. That would be so much fun.”

As of this month, we now not only have a commercial grade swing, but also a rope swing, hanging from that tree.

It has been nice to see how our family naturally ends up there on the swings.

Mommy made a good call about that tree.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Dear Jack: Target Practice on an Armored Vehicle

14 years, 4 months.

Dear Jack,

After being inspired by one of your PlayStation 5 games, you decided to spend $6 on a die cast armored vehicle to try to destroy with your BB gun.

It was such a perfect way for you to spend a sunny Spring day, right here in our backyard.

You are always curious. You are always conducting experiments.

I’ve been watching you do this kind of thing your whole life.

You like to figure out how things work. I just know that whatever you end up doing for a living, it’s going to be something that keeps your brain working hard all the time.

 

Love,

Daddy

New Status Symbol Now Unlocked: Old Enough to Actually Have Friends Again

If you can believe it, yesterday marked the 5 year anniversary of the beginning of the Covid Shutdown of 2020.

Later that year, my wife and I planned our first ever “vacation without the kids”. Based on travel restrictions at the time, we chose as our destination: the great outdoors of Colorado.

Before we left, I made a point to reach out to my friend Josh Johnson, who I had heard moved there. He and I had not seen each other since we graduated high school together in 1999.

The vacation to Colorado was definitely one of my favorites, as it was, but seeing Josh again made it even better.

This past week, Josh happened to be in town from Colorado, so we caught up again; which made 40 years since originally meeting in pre-school at Fort Payne First Methodist Church in 1985.

It was while meeting with him this time that I realized: One of my favorite things to do in life is to hang out with people.

In other words, to be social without any agenda. Just to be human like we were designed.

I do remember telling my mom, “I’m big now. I’m ready to go to school.” I remember her taking my picture at our house before she drove me for my first day of pre-school in January 1985.

But it wasn’t about me going there because I wanted to learn. I was ready to go to school because my 4 year-old brain understood clearly: “I am a social person. I need to be around people.”

And anyone who knows me as an adult in modern-day, knows this: I am a social person. I need to be around people.

In hindsight, I now realize that ever since my job went remote 5 years ago, I have been putting in that much more of an effort to proactively connect with people; outside of my own house.

I’m at the gym every morning before work. I schedule a lunch meeting with at least one friend each Friday. I am part of a Jeep club in my town as well.

Anytime there is a social event going on where I live, I am definitely there.

It is now becoming common knowledge that men, especially, tend to forsake other male friendships once they get married and have kids; in addition to the responsibility of their careers.

Male friendships become the lowest priority, by default. That has certainly been the case for me.

But noticeably, these past 5 years since the Covid Shutdown of 2020 have noticeably improved the quality of my life.

Granted, part of that is because my kids are older now and don’t require as much constant attention. And as mentioned before, I don’t have to commute to and from work anymore.

Perhaps it’s a rite of passage for men in their 40s: That there is suddenly more time and space to focus on having other males as friends again.

For me, it’s pretty much a status symbol I have now unlocked.