That’s right. When you see those expensive “natural” toothpaste brands without all the mysterious chemicals and think, “Seriously, who would waste money on that?!”…
Well, now you’ve got a face. It’s me.
Though I’ve got most people fooled with my Facebook pictures, having them think I’m just a regular married man with two kids, as we enjoy a leisurely outing at the Nashville Zoo on the weekend, the truth is… I’m secretly buying that hippie toothpaste.
For the past decade, I have refused to buy “normal” toothpaste. I want some toothpaste with some character. I want some toothpaste with soul.
So whether it’s the legendary half-Jewish Dr. Bronner’s All-One Toothpaste, or some other seemingly obscure brand that also refuses to put fluoride in the product, I just typically go with the one that’s on sale. So if I’m lucky, I might only have to spend 4 or 5 bucks…
Plus, I have found that these vegan-friendly brands of toothpaste tend have more interesting flavors.
I despise mint flavored toothpaste. It’s too demanding. I don’t want to have to be consumed by the flavor of my toothpaste.
So natural cinnamon is a great fit for me. I also enjoy the anise flavor as well.
Oh, and today, I lucked out at Whole Foods and found “coconut chamomile” flavor on sale for $3.49, which was nearly 50%.
Seriously, how cool am I? Tonight I will get to brush my teeth with Jason’s “Simply Coconut Soothing Toothpaste” made with coconut oil, aloe vera juice, chamomile extract, and witch hazel water.
But no fluoride and no sodium lauryl sulfate.
Perhaps by default, I have spent most of my life being obsessed with brushing my teeth. I always brush my teeth a minimum of twice each daily, sometimes more.
I keep a toothbrush and toothpaste in my desk drawer at work, just in case the moment feels right.
As for the rest of the world, let him use minty Colgate or Crest. Let them spend half the amount of money as I do on toothpaste.
Meanwhile, I’ll be the crazy guy declaring, “It’s all a big conspiracy, man. The government’s been secretly putting small amounts of toxic fluoride in our drinking water…” as I brush my teeth with six dollar toothpaste void of such similar evil corporate agendas.