Month: June 2014

Leave a comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

Flying from Nashville to Sacramento with a Baby

August 2, 2011 at 12:15 am , by 

Eight months.

Here’s to the land of In-N-Out Burger and Jamba Juice!

This evening, the three of us will be boarding a plane to Sacramento, California. My wife, who is from there and is one of ten kids, obviously has a lot of family out there and this will be the first time that they will be meeting Jack.  When it comes to this trip, I have preconceived ideas about what will happen.

On my list of pro’s, there’s the fact that once we get there, we will be having a very relaxing, enjoyable time hanging out with the family.  In addition to seeing everyone, I look forward to running each day amidst the palm trees during the perfectly cool, Sacramento mornings.

I will not be bringing my laptop, therefore I am taking a break from The Dadabase for a few days. Basically, I am unplugging from the real world. Granted, I’ll be taking my camera, along with a notebook, to bookmark the stories involving Jack that will ultimately become Dadabase posts.

The downside to all this is that we have to get there and come back, on a plane, with an eight month old little boy.  I just can’t convince myself that I will find that process to be less than slightly unnerving.

I am remembering myself from ten years ago as a 20 year old guy who got so annoyed by having to sit near a crying baby on a plane.  Now, I will be the parent of that baby; for six hours there and six hours back.

One good thing about the flights is Jack has entered his phase of being obsessed with his mommy.  If she’s in the room and not holding him, he’s upset, for the most part.  At least he will get plenty of “mommy minutes.”

It’s stressful to think that after spending so much effort to get him on a mostly predictable sleeping schedule, that he will be spending nearly a week in a time zone that is two hours behind what he is used to.  Will that mean he’s ready for sleep an hour before dinner and that he will wake up full of energy at 4 AM?  I already know the answer.

You take the good with the bad and call it life:  Sacramento will be splendid as it always is, but flying to the other coast with an infant will be rough.  It’s the sweet and the sour; I accept it as my reality.

It will most likely be nearly a week before I publish a new post. Please don’t think that I have abandoned this blog.  Instead, I cordially invite you to catch up on my 130+ other posts here in the meantime; as well as Parents.com’s other bloggers.

To find my older stuff you may have missed, just look to the right of the screen where it says “archives.”  They go all the way back to April 2010 when I began daddy blogging; my wife was just a couple of months pregnant back then.

Wish me luck and sanity for the flight.  I will surely need it.  Seriously, I am so craving an In-N-Out burger all of the sudden.

Leave a comment Posted on Health, Nostalgia, parenting

Thanksgiving in July: Tofurky Style

August 1, 2011 at 12:15 am , by 

Eight months.

Every year for Thanksgiving, Vanderbilt University gives a free turkey to all of its employees; unless you’re a vegetarian.  To be clear, my wife and I are not full vegetarians; though the majority of our meals are indeed meatless.

If this makes any sense, our diet reflects a kosher version of the Mediterranean food pyramid.  Needless to say, last November right as our son was about to be born, my wife received her free Tofurky, instead of a regular turkey. However, because he was born so close to Thanksgiving last year, we never cooked our Tofurky.

It has remained in a friend’s freezer for nearly nine months, until this past weekend.  We decided to have a very belated Thanksgiving dinner… with a “turkey” made of tofu.  But that’s not all.  A Tofurky comes with stuffing, gravy, a “jerky wishbone,” and even a chocolate cake dessert.

Since Jack’s 7 o’clock bedtime prevented him from joining the festivities, he instead had some zucchini and pears that my wife prepared for him with our Baby Bullet.  Jack will turn one a few weeks before Thanksgiving, so maybe he will get to try some of the real bird… or some of the fake bird, I should say.

So what was I thankful to God for during our Thanksgiving in July this past weekend?

That both my wife and I were able to return to our employers here in Nashville after an eight month sabbatical which we thought was a permanent move.  Not only that, but the fact that both of us are truly enjoying our jobs with a newfound appreciation.

That we were able to get Jack into a really good daycare which is right down the block from where I work.

That despite my wife’s car breaking down for the 14th time, we didn’t get totally stranded in the process; and that my parents are letting us borrow a car from them until we can get my wife’s car fixed.

I am thankful for friends who are gracious enough to allow my family of three to stay with them for the next couple of months until our renters move out of our condo.

And of course, I am thankful for my wife and son whom I can share a July Thanksgiving meal which includes an eight month old Tofurky.  Thank God for them and all that God has taught me through them so far.

Now that July has passed, I need to get ready for Christmas in August…

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John Mayer’s Daughters Vs. Greg Wright’s Daddy Dates

July 28, 2011 at 7:59 pm , by 

Eight months.

I love John Mayer’s music.  He shares my same love for the year 1983.  The first date my wife and I went on was to one of his concerts.  I will confidently buy every single album that he ever releases, knowing that John Mayer just can’t produce a dud.  When it comes to making music and writing songs, he’s undeniably a class act.

In 2005, John Mayer won a Grammy for his Top Ten hit song, “Daughters.”  The song contains the lyrics, “On behalf of every man looking out for every girl. You are the guide and the weight of her world. So fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do.”  He wrote the song completely on his own.  And it is definitely one well crafted and well written song.

However, I know to separate the music from the man.  Technically, John Mayer’s dating life is none of my business.  But after all, one of the most played albums in our house is Jack’s favorite Taylor Swift album, Speak Now, which contains the song, “Dear John.”

After hearing the song the first 23 times, it became pretty clear to me that the song is most likely about the highly speculated, brief relationship between the then 19 year old Taylor Swift and the 32 year old John Mayer.  One of the most stand out lines in the song is, “Don’t you think nineteen’s too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home.  I should have known.”

Whether or not it should, it definitely bothers me that the man who wrote “Daughters” does not apply the song’s advice in his personal life.  It’s not just Taylor Swift that he’s messed with. Granted, it’s not a matter of whether Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, and Taylor Swift should have known better.  It’s a matter of John Mayer knowing better.

In the same way that Bentley is known as the infamous player/villain from the Ashley Hebert season of The Bachelorette, so John Mayer falls into this same category. Just like in his song, “Who Says,” where he nonchalantly states, “Who says I can’t get stoned? Call up a girl that I used to know. Fake love for an hour or so.”  This kind of talk just doesn’t sound like it should be coming from the guy who was intuitive enough to write “Daughters.”

I view John Mayer as a modern day King Solomon, having access to countless beautiful women, unending wealth and glorious fame. Yet as King Solomon admitted later in his life, in the book of Ecclesiastes, it was all meaningless.  Similarly, John Mayer admits in another one of his more well known songs from the same album, “something’s missing and I don’t know how to fix it.”

So while I think John Mayer is flawless when it comes to making music and writing songs, I recognize that there’s a disconnect between what he knows is truth and the way he actually treats the “daughters” he dates.

And that is why I am giving away a free copy of the book Daddy Dates to the first 5 readers who request it by leaving a comment on this post.  I will need your mailing address, whether you leave it in the comment itself or would prefer to email it to me (nickshell1983@hotmail.com) right after you leave the comment.

The nonfiction book  Daddy Dates is written by Greg Wright, who regularly takes his four daughters on “dates.”  In other words, he is making a very conscious effort to spend individual, quality time with his daughters, assuring them that they are beautiful, loved, and worthy of being loved.  Coming from the guy whose mission is to positively re-brand fatherhood (I’m referring to myself,) I admire Greg Wright for what he is doing.

Therefore, I proudly give away his book here on The Dadabase.

*Within an hour or so of this post being published, I got my 5 winners for the book.  Hint: When I give away books here on The Dadabase, it’s always on Thursday nights around 8PM Central Time.  But not every Thursday…

1 Comment Posted on Nostalgia, parenting

My Best Friend is a Girl

July 27, 2011 at 10:22 pm , by 

Eight months.

We have been told more than a few times that we look like brother and sister.  Nope, we’re best friends. Oh yeah, and we happen to be married, too.

(Pictured right: St. Patrick’s Day 2007- We had been dating for about a month.)

Having spent my teenage years during The Nineties, the music I will always truly love the most is from the grunge and alternative era. In fact, I proudly continue to buy the new albums of those same bands that are still around like Counting Crows, Live, Matchbox Twenty (Rob Thomas), and Third Eye Blind.  And that is why I continue to remain a huge fan of Weezer. For many, if Weezer was ever relevant in any way, it was in 1995 with their hit “Buddy Holly.”

But as long as each year Weezer releases yet another self-titled or bizarrely named new album, I will surely be digging it. Yesterday in the car I was listening to their song “My Best Friend,” which never really stood out to me before.  But as I listened to the lyrics, I thought of my wife:

“You are such a blessing and I won’t be messing with the one thing that brings light to all of my darkness. You’re my best friend and I love you… I’m here right beside you. I will never leave you.”

And it hit me: My wife really is my best friend!

But it’s not simply a romanticized idea. In fact, the thing that actually helps me to truly grasp the concept of my wife being my best friend is by removing any romantic aspects from our relationship. It’s a struggle, but if for a moment, I view my wife and myself not as a woman and man, but instead just two souls, I can catch a glimpse of us how we are best friends in addition to being married and in love.

Of course, both of us do have our close, same-gendered friends that we talk to.  And that’s very important. But as a married couple, we refuse to let much time go by if we sense that the other is “in a moment” where they need some empathy or direction. As I always say, we strongly value communication in our marriage.

Ultimately, being best friends in a marriage often means transcending the romantic elements of the relationship. Sure, it still includes and depends on those necessary romantic elements, but it’s so much more than being in love.

I guess for me, the only way I could have ever been married was to know that I had found and was marrying my best friend.  And that’s exactly what happened to me.

Our Timeline:

October 5th, 2006: we met for the first time at a taping of CMT Crossroads

February 5th, 2007: our first date at a John Mayer concert

January 14th, 2008: I proposed

July 5th, 2008: our wedding day

November 16th, 2010: our son was born

 

All pictures with the “JHP” logo were taken by Joe Hendricks Photography:

Blog- www.photojoeblog.com

Website- www.joehendricks.com

 

 

 

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Can’t Put a Price Tag on Living near Family

July 26, 2011 at 9:04 pm , by 

Eight months.

From everything I had heard about a new mom and dad’s first night away from their baby, we were supposed to be constantly distracted, wondering if our son was okay.  That every hour we would call in, checking on him.  That the quality of our time together would be compromised by the thought of something going wrong back home, feeling helpless as Jack’s parents that we couldn’t provide the best care because we weren’t physically there.

And maybe that would have been the case.  But we were blessed in that from December 2010 up until about ten days ago, we lived near family. That’s why our version of our first night away from our son was nothing like the preconceived ideas explored in the first paragraph.

As mentioned in my bio (featured right), my wife and I are “bed and breakfast people.” A lot of the time, our gifts for each other are a trip a few hours away to a typically unheard of place where there is a B&B that received good reviews online. This was the case for my 30th birthday on April 20th, 2011.  Since our son Jack was born five months earlier on November 16, 2010, we had not yet spent a night away from him.

While in Alabama for those eight months, we had lived only a few miles not only my parents but also from my sister and her husband.  My parents were more than eager to keep Jack for the night, and of course my sister and her husband were there hanging out and helping most of the time too.  Meanwhile, my wife and I were three hours away in a town called Dahlonega, Georgia. (Pictured below.)

We enjoyed the laid-back environment of the B&B, the exploration of a new town, and the adventures of visiting a new winery as well asCabbage Patch Kids “Babyland.“ I am not ashamed to say that we never called to check in on our son. Because in the care of my family, we never had any doubts. It was some much needed rest for us both.  In particular, for my wife, it was literally the first night she had in many months to actually be able to sleep through the entire night.  (Our son was not yet sleeping through the night at that point.)

You can’t put a price tag on living near family.  However, you can put a price tag on the cost of living versus the amount of income lost by moving to a small town where there just aren’t as many appropriate jobs to go around.

In addition to the invaluable life lessons we learned, another priceless benefit is that we were able to share Jack with my family during this whole time.  I try to imagine how different that not only the stories but also the pictures would be in my Dadabase posts if we had never moved away from Nashville.

The content of the past eight months would be completely different.  Instead, the stories have been forever documented and told with my parents, sister, and brother-in-law in the midst of it all.  Even though we won’t be able to watch Jack grow up in the same town as my family as we had planned, we will always have these stories and pictures to remember.  Not to mention, we only moved two and half hours away.  While that may be too far for a visit during the week, it’s not a bad drive for a weekend trip.

I know things won’t be able to be the same as they used to, regarding how close we’ve lived to my family.  But I have a feeling things won’t be that different, either.  Because you can’t put a price tag on family- no matter how close or far away you live from them.

Above picture: My sister and her husband holding their daughter and my son.

Top picture: My parents holding both of their grandchildren.