Emotionally Charged Words: Why Certain Words are Taboo Curse Words and Others Are Not

Some words are just too dang dramatic.

Though as a human it can be difficult, with enough effort, it is possible for me to examine a word of the English language that is shrouded in controversy, taboo, and offensiveness and see past its reputation.  Because at the end of the day, cuss words, vain religious exclamations, and even ethnic/sexist slurs are simply just words.  With a whole lot of emotion attached to them.

And that changes everything.

People can refer to themselves or their friends as an ethnic or sexist slur if they themselves are the specific ethnicity or gender that the slur refers to.  But it’s a different story when it comes from someone outside the circle.  Why?  Because whatever word that comes to mind right now that I may be referring to has a lot of emotion behind it.  Not just years of emotion, or even decades, but often centuries.

Emotions born out of unfair judgment, preconceived ideas, assumed inequality, and disrespect.  Everything that is not Christian.  Everything that is instead demonic and hellish.

But on a much lesser scale are the everyday PG rated words.  Ones that have become so common they’ve lost their edge.  The first time the word “sucks” was used as a degrading adjective (instead of a common verb) on cable TV and not censored was in 1983 on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.  That was quite a big deal back then.

Now it’s 27 years later and I personally know a Christian author who is using that word in the title of his book.  A book that will be sold in Lifeway Christian stores.  People aren’t offended by the word anymore.  Not even Baptists.  But if this were 1977, that book would be having a different title.

Some emotionally charged words lose their emotion.  While others don’t.  But to ignore the current status of their offensiveness is a foolish thing to do.

I’m not good at gray areas.  Everything to me has to be formulated in black and white, cut and dry.  Otherwise, I stay out of it.  That’s part of the reason that #4 of my writing code (as revealed in Being Down to Earth, Yet Never Really Touching the Ground ) is “avoid profanity”.  Which words do I say, which words do I not say?…  I’d rather just not play in that sandbox altogether.

However, in November 2009 back before I had materialized my writing code, I wrote a series called You Just Cussed that explored the history and social acceptance boundaries of profanity.  Something I’m very intrigued by.

To avoid seeming corny, I didn’t censor any of the profanities; which in the process of quoting and explaining them all, there were more than I bothered to count.  I wanted to help strip these words down to better understand why we find them at all offensive.

But I never advertised the series.  It never showed up on a facebook link.  No one was notified through e-mail when it was published.  I was just testing it out.  So only everyday readers who happened to look at the “recent posts” panel would have even seen it.

It just never felt right, somehow.  So after about a week, I removed the series from my site.

The battle in my head: Coming across as cheesy by censoring the profanity vs. coming across as offensive by leaving all the words as they were in an effort to explain.

But now that I’ve got my writing code established, I feel at ease.  I shall officially publish the series.  Mostly censored.

Because I would rather stay true to my writing code than try to be as specific and literal as I have to be.

In the likeness of the way that Growing Pains created a springboard for Just the Ten of Us and how Perfect Strangers yielded Family Matters, I shall now use this post about emotionally charged words to officially introduce my new 6 part series, You Just Cussed.  Back from the archives and all cleaned up.

You Just Cussed: 1/6

You Just Cussed: 2/6

You Just Cussed: 3/6

You Just Cussed: 4/6

You Just Cussed: 5/6

You Just Cussed: 6/6

Bad Things, Man

There are a lot of “bad things” you can do and be, and for the most part, people will overlook it. Ironically, one of the few things I have found that our American society finds unforgivable and unacceptable is someone who is judgmental of others. Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker is a prime example. He had notable talent and a great career going for him. Then he opened his mouth.

In a 2000 interview with Sports Illustrated he revealed himself to be a racist, sexist, and “homophobe” by comments he made in just one paragraph. It cost him his career. Think of all the crimes that athletes have committed and walked away with just a slap on the wrist. But it was a judgmental mindset, regardless of his athletic ability, that cursed him.

Seinfeld star Michael Richards (“Kramer”) officially ruined his career in 2006 when he lost control of an audience at a comedy club while doing a stand-up routine, then began shouting racial slurs at the people he believed to be causing the disruption, in a desperate and pitiful attempt to gain control. This was captured on a cell phone, uploaded to YouTube, and the rest is history. His career will never survive this, despite his many public apologies.

John Rocker and Michael Richards are easy targets though. The annoying thing about it is every person alive today is judgmental of others, no matter how small the degree. There is a natural tendency to create somewhat of a list of degrees regarding “bad people”, or at least “people I’m better than”. Not that anyone wants to or means to consider ourselves better than other people, but the truth is, it happens everyday.

I realize there are several degrees of separation between gossiping about co-workers and being an open bigot, but where is the line drawn? Both examples involve a person publicly assessing either the private matters or character of another person. Both involve a person making an call that another person is somehow sub-par. At what point is it no longer innocent and harmless to judge another person?

The highly successful sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond had an episode in which the twin sons befriended a kid at school whose dad was a sanitation worker (a “garbage man”). The comedy of the episode was when Raymond’s wife acted uneasy when the “Garbage Man Dad” visited the household to pick up his son. The episode showed that secretly she looked down on garbage men, compared to other occupations like writers or high school teachers. Like the way people look at a truck driver differently than compared to a doctor, though both men work hard to support their families.

Many reality shows totally play on the concept of enticing its viewers to come back each week to watch how stupid a person is going to be. I think that’s why Dennis Rodman stayed as long as he did on The Apprentice: Donald Trump knew that viewers were annoyed by Dennis and would keep watching in hopes he would be fired on that episode. Maybe it’s the satisfaction in knowing that though we’re not perfect, or at least we’re not as messed up as “that person”.

I remember the pastor of my church, Mike Glenn, saying how when he meets a new person out on the golf course and Mike is asked what does for a living, the demeanor and vocabulary of the other person often changes instantly. Whereas the first 30 minutes of the game they revealed their true selves to Mike, anything after that was a different version.

To some degree, he must feel frustrated that he is seen as “the holy man”, the one others have to straighten up around. I’m sure to some degree he must be tired of being judged- so many people can’t see past his profession. But why do people react that way to the pastor of one of the biggest churches of the biggest city in Tennessee?

Maybe because they’re afraid they will be judged. What a paradox. In fear of being judged, they judge the pastor. They assume he looks down on them because they’re not “tight with Jesus”. The ultimate irony of it is that he doesn’t care that they just dropped the “f-bomb”. He genuinely just wants to be their friend.

People forget that Jesus was friends with prostitutes, beggars, and plenty of other people who had no future. From what I’ve heard, one of the biggest issues that atheists have with Christians is that at some point or many points in their lives, they had an experience where a Christian was judgmental towards them.

I think it’s weird that God leaves it up to faulty human beings that mess up everyday like everyone else (and also struggle with being judgmental) to show the rest of the world the love of God. If a person could be made perfect the moment they became a Christian, it would be much easier for non-believers to believe. But instead God chooses to use instruments that are often out of tune to play the music.

Sometimes when I’m driving home from work I get behind this car with a bumper sticker that says “Jesus, save me from your followers!” I’m always irritated at first when I see it. But I can relate. I wish Jesus would save me from myself sometimes.