potty training

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Potty Pride: “They Don’t Make Azteks Anymore”

December 26, 2013 at 10:37 pm , by 

3 years, 1 month.

Dear Jack,

As I was lying down on the floor in the aftermath of watching you open Christmas gifts, you announced to to the whole family that you needed to go potty.

You recruited your Uncle Andrew to accompany you to the half bathroom, which is basically connected to the living room, where everyone was.

Not only did you want him there for moral support, but you wanted the bathroom door open so the rest of us could be aware of all the excitement.

There you sat down on your training potty, with your face between your knees as you looked for… results.

Uncle Andrew sat across from you on the actual potty, seat down of course, as he acted as your coach.

Once you realized you were throughdoing the deed, you immediately looked up at him and proclaimed, “They don’t make Azteks anymore.”

You then added, “They don’t make Pontiacs anymore either.”

I’ve got two different theories on why you decided to announce what I’ve taught you about the demise of both Azteks and Pontiacs as we’ve sat in Nashville traffic everyday going to and from school.

One is that you were so deep in thought as were going potty, your brain focused on car facts to get you through it; to serve as a motivational distraction. Then, by the time you were done, you decided to share that news with Uncle Andrew.

The other theory, held by Uncle Andrew himself, is that in the likeness of a situation where two dudes try to change the subject after a seemingly akward shared experience, one says to the other, “How ’bout them 49ers (or other relevant sports team)? Heck of a game, heck of game.”

Either theory could be valid.

However, based on the look of your face as the training potty was being emptied into the big potty to be flushed, I think you were anything but ashamed.

That’s a look of potty pride, if I ever did see it.

 

Love,

Daddy

 

Leave a comment Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Progress In Potty Training A Nearly 3 Year-Old Boy

November 3, 2013 at 7:00 am , by 

2 year, 11 months.

Dear Jack,

Yesterday afternoon as Mommy was upstairs working on laundry and as we were watching Disney’s Spooky Buddies, you announced to me:

“I go potty!”

That was my cue to jump up and chase you to the bathroom door, open it for you, and turn on the light.

From there, you did your business.

I always stand right outside the door, with it cracked, as to still give you some privacy but to also assess the situation.

This particular time, I was only half-way paying attention, I admit. I suppose I was slightly distracted about the thought of the “ghost puppy” in the movie we were in the middle of.

You so easily understood and didn’t question a “ghost puppy” that flew around like Casper. I did.

So for what happened next, I had to ask myself if I really had just seen what I thought I did:

After “going number one,” you lifted up the potty tray from your Elmo potty and held it in one hand, and with the other you lifted up the real potty lid and dumped your Elmo potty contents into it.

Then, you sat the Elmo potty tray back into the Elmo potty and flushed the real potty before running back into the living room to finish our movie.

I was stunned.

It’s a big enough deal to go potty, but to take care of all those other steps too… wow. I was probably most impressed by the fact you didn’t spill the Elmo potty tray.

On top of all that, it was probably the 5th successful time yesterday that you “went potty in the potty.” In fact, you had no accidents all day yesterday, even when we went out in public for a couple of hours.

Of course it all goes back to last weekend when your Nonna and Papa (my parents) were here.

After we all went out for some fun at the pumpkin patch, that evening Mommy and I went out on a date night (at a New Mexican restaurant and Old Navy). And Nonna and Papa helped out Mommy and I tremendously by using that time to proactively potty train you…

What was effective was having you only wear your “big boy/Thomas the Train” underwear. It worked. You did not want to get Thomas dirty.

I had heard that when it comes to potty training a boy, it’s harder than potty training a girl.

But, that it really just comes down to two things: that the boy is about three years old, and that the boy is not wearing diapers while potty training.

It’s working. I am so proud of you.

 

Love,

Daddy

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My Toddler Son Is Officially On Potty Patrol: “Dada Did It!”

October 22, 2012 at 10:13 pm , by 

23 months.

*Warning: Contains oversharenting.

This morning on the car ride to daycare, Jack had a big sneeze: “Dada? Nose.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any Kleenex in the car or even a blanket for him to wipe his nose off with. About 12 minutes later, we had arrived at KinderCare.

We got there earlier than normal, so I was able to sneak him in the front nursery room where no one else was yet and take my time carefully cleaning his face.

I was concentrating so hard to get Jack clean, when all of the sudden, I… well, it just came out of nowhere!

“Dada did it!” Jack loudly proclaimed with a straight face.

Fortunately no one else was around to hear it; but if they were, Jack wanted to make it clear that “Dada did it!” and not Jack.

I’m just glad that embarrassing story gets to stay between father and son. It’ll be our little secret.

Oh, wait…

Gone are the days when Jack was unaware of anything bathroom-related. Now, he feels it’s his job, in the likeness of a herald, to announce to the general public what should be private.

Let’s just say that if you come to our house and go upstairs to use the restroom, Jack will announce to everyone in the living room:

“[Insert your name here] potty.”

He hears the subtle flush and knows that’s his cue. Same thing with showers.

So if you use the potty, shower, or accidentally pass gas, Jack will announce it for everyone to hear. He’s on Potty Patrol!

 

For the past several weeks now, he has been practicing using his toddler potty before bath time. He’s actually only gone twice out of dozens of attempts, but it’s not for a lack of trying.

As I sit in front of him, watching my naked son try to make some magic happen on the potty, I think, “He should be weirded out by me being right here.”

Instead, he appreciates the moral support.

But what’s funny is he always pulls up the bathroom rug to cover his feet while he tries. I don’t think his feet are cold, the bathroom rug just serves as a sort of good luck charm.

Last night, he was doing his normal potty ritual while my wife and I watched and rooted him on.

Without any prompting, he covered his nipples with his fingers, waddled his arms like he had chicken wings, and made a weird barking sound.

My wife immediately asked him, “What are you doing, Jack?”

His eagerly replied with a scrunched up nose and a tone of celebration in his voice:

“Snake!”

That was by far the most absurd and most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen or heard my son do. Ever.

I’ll never know how an unsolicited impression of a barking, wing-flapping, nipple-censored snake shows up in the midst of  watching your parents watch you try to use the potty; which for the record, remained empty after the snake impression.

I would say what happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom.

But then again, I’ve got a toddler who is on Potty Patrol.

 

2 Comments Posted on parenting, Storytelling

Toddler Potty Training 101: Father To Son

July 10, 2012 at 9:48 pm , by 

19 months.

*Warning: Contains oversharenting.

Early this morning I was getting ready to leave the house to take my son Jack to his doctor at Vanderbilt when I explained to him:

“Wait, son. I need to go pee-pee first.”

I left the bathroom door open so I could make sure he didn’t charge towards the potentially dangerous staircase, which he never does. Instead, he walked up to me, standing just far enough away from the toilet to be in the safe zone.

Jack watched the “waterfall” go into the potty in amazement and wonder. I felt he needed a sophisticated commentary.

“See, son. Pee-pee is coming out of Dada’s… hose.”

Yes. Hose.

That’s the best I could come up with, given the lack of sleep I received because of him waking up at 3:30 AM due to his fever.

But hey, I was just trying to relate it to something he could appreciate. And knowing that Jack loves playing with the water hose, it made the most sense in that split-second, unplanned moment.

I saw the yearning in his eyes: I could tell that my son totally wants to “spray his hose” into the potty.

To seal the deal properly, as I flushed the toilet I waved goodbye to the potty water as I emphatically proclaimed, “Bye bye, pee-pee! Bye bye!”

(Because Jack says “bye-bye” to everyone and everything, I knew he would appreciate this.)

My wife and I are in no hurry to potty train our child. I just want to plant that seed in his mind, though. I want to him to know that when he’s a little bit older, he will have the privilege of getting to do what Dada does.

I want him to believe that he’s missing out. And after seeing his reactions to my recent habit of glorifying going pee-pee in the potty, I think my plan is working.

Here lately Jack is indeed growing more aware of “pee-pee” anyway. He has this new thing he will do at the house where he will announce to me:

“Pee-pee.”

He’s literally letting me know that it’s time for me to change his diaper.

But because of his inability to make all the vowel sounds so far, “poo-poo” is pronounced the same as “pee-pee.”

Either way, I’m impressed by his new trick. My toddler actually tells me when it’s time to change his diaper.

The days of me mindlessly changing his diapers and him being unaware of why I’m doing it are over. Now he knows why!

I think he deserves a trendy Pee-Pee Awareness ribbon just for that alone.