Jay Leno, the great comedian, once said, “There is no such thing as bad pizza.” And with the exception of the slaughter-house and lard version made by Cici’s, I agree with Jay. But the bad thing about pizza is the over-bearing awkwardness it provides when involving a community set-up. I am a pizza loner.

At work when some people “all pitch in a few bucks” to order pizza at lunch, I don’t rush to get out my wallet. So much to consider: First of all, how much to I give? Five bucks? If so, how many slices does that grant me? Two? Or Three? I need to know. Can I just pay by the slice?

I am very greedy when it comes to pizza. And I am aware that pizza is very unhealthy. So when I do delve into its goodness, I’m all in. I want to be full so that means I need between 4 and 5 slices. And we will need to order something good.  Something besides pepperoni.  We need supreme pizza. Meat and veggies. That way it’s a full meal.

By nature, pizza is sinful. If I actually get enough to be full, then I’ve had way too much. It’s not like a chicken breast where there’s actual enough protein. Pizza is mainly carbs and fat. Pizza, like sin, is unfulfilling.

I only had one sibling growing up. And I was the first born. I hated group projects in school and college. Pizza brings out the worst in me.